Which brings us to extreme ball sensitivity. What's the deal with that? Well, it's not that other animals just love being smacked in the balls, it's that, well, try it. Go find a bull and try to nail it in the nuts with a dodge ball. You can't, can you? Its legs and tail are in the way.
And with that, a beautiful sport was born.
Humans, however, decided at some point that walking upright would be a great idea, so now we have the perfect storm of external testicles and a posture that literally has us walking balls-first into danger.
#4. We Need Dentists and Braces Because We Evolved Big Brains
Don't let Hollywood fool you, guys -- most people in this world are sporting teeth that are as crooked as an Illinois governor. If you see someone with a perfect set of chompers, either they or their parents shelled out some dollars to make it happen. The rest of us have more teeth than our little orifices can handle, which is why some of us end up with snaggletooths and fangs and whatever is going on with Steve Buscemi's mouth.
Complete dental anarchy?
Not to mention the nightmare that is wisdom tooth removal -- those bastards try to cram their way into the jaw so tightly that nothing short of surgery can remove them. Again, it seems like a straight design flaw -- why in the hell would you not have room in your mouth for your own teeth?
It Has to Be That Way Because:
Before humanity got a taste for flesh, vegetation was our only source of nutrition. But the thing about roots and leaves and nuts is that you need a lot of it to get enough protein to keep on living. So imagine the teeth it would take to grind down that kind of diet all day long. You can go look at a horse, if it helps.
Oh hey, we loved you in Reservoir Dogs, Mr Buscemi.
Once our big ol' Chiclet teeth had their way with wood pulp or whatever else we were managing to swallow for sustenance, our digestive systems went to work. Digesting all of those twigs and shit sapped whatever energy we had left -- which left zilch for our brains.