Researchers have been working on a biological pesticide with a natural virus in it that will hopefully only affect the armyworms. To be clear, that's an experimental virus released on a massive population. Does that sound familiar? It might be time for scientists to step out of the lab for a night and actually watch a zombie movie or two.
Hordes of Giant African Snails
From a completely unscientific perspective, snails are just snot in a shell. They're slow, slimy and filled with diseases. You probably don't spend much time thinking about them until you hear that sickly crunch under your foot while walking down the sidewalk after a rainstorm. But that's because you haven't encountered the giant African land snail, which eats the walls off of houses.
On the other hand, they make great wallpaper paste.
The Department of Agriculture has declared Miami "ground zero" for a giant snail invasion that's causing problems for thousands of residents. An average snail is only a few centimeters long and goes unnoticed, but the giant snails in Florida can grow up to 18 centimeters long, and they eat just about everything. The snails' diet can include about 500 different types of plants, which is causing hell for agriculture in Miami. Aside from vegetation, the snails are also partial to stucco, so they are just as likely to destroy a garden as the exterior wall of your house.
And then shit all over it.
It's proving tough to get rid of the things, too: Each snail can lay up to 1,200 eggs a year. Florida's Department of Agriculture's solution to the problem? They're going door to door and picking up the snails in people's yards. That's it. They're just collecting them in plastic bags and putting them into a "deep freeze" because ... we have no idea why. Maybe in case we ever need to thaw them out in the future to stop Wesley Snipes in some Demolition Man scenario?
Salt those bad boys up and you could take the French junk food industry by storm.
Still, there's no way the Department of Agriculture can keep up with the breeding of the snails. So, to reiterate, we have an infestation that causes meningitis, and eats crops and houses. And it's spreading.
"Hey, I demand citizenship!"
Maybe we should just cover Florida in salt and call it a day.
Erik Germ is the owner of HugeFrigginArms and thinks it would be awesome if you followed him on Twitter.
For more species we need to kill with fire, check out 6 Animals Humanity Accidentally Made Way Scarier and 5 Species That Seem to be Trying to Take over the Earth.
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