Long ago, Luiz Costa de Oliveira of Brazil married a young senorita named Francisca. The two immediately started producing offspring at a pace that probably earned him a knowing wink and nod from the neighborhood rabbits. Francisca would tragically pass away before reaching her full potential, but left Luiz with an impressive 17 children.
Luckily, Luiz found love again with a new wife, Maria, and she allowed him to pick up right where he left off. The new marriage would eventually result in a tie with the late Francisca's mark, with Maria also bringing forth 17 new humans. The family brood was now 34, and Maria was clearly going to need a little help with the logistical issues of industrial scale PB&J production and fecal containment. Here's where things went a little nuts.
Her uterus exploded.
Overwhelmed and undersmart, Maria asked her sister Ozelita to the farm to help out. What she didn't count on was Luiz's unrepentant penis pumping, because it wasn't too long before Ozelita came down with a bad case of the pregnants. Fifteen times, all while the three of them were living under the same roof. Maria just couldn't stay mad at Luiz, apparently; the man just loved the ladies, as evidenced in an interview where he proclaimed, "The thing that God made best in the world was woman."
If you've been keeping track, you'll find we're at 49 babies at this point. As amazing as this number is, Luiz surely must have felt some disappointment at coming in just one shy of the half-century mark. Luckily, there was one more eligible female in the house who had yet to swoon for Luiz's girthy charms. As if this scenario wasn't already enough of a Penthouse Forum letter for you, Maria and Ozelia's mother also succumbed to Luiz's grunty temptations and bore him one more child. Yay! Fifty!
That's her there in the blue, looking like she's ready to get to work on number 51 right now.
These days, Luiz is in his 90s and is pretty much retired from carnal canoodling: "I hardly make love anymore these days, even though I'm in good health." Please take note there that he said "hardly" anymore, not "never." An honest man, Luiz admitted that no way in hell could he remember all his children's names, let alone the more than 100 grandchildren and 30 great-grandchildren, not to mention the ones he may have had and never knew anything about: "I could even have other children and not know it because I always liked to go out with women." "Go out with" in this sense meaning "bone relentlessly."
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