It would seem that this trail of lyrical bread crumbs leads to but one place: Fistopolis. Population: This guy's wiener. Just take a look at the people interviewed in this video, at about 2 minutes 20 seconds. It's a pretty popular interpretation, and any sites mentioning the song on the Internet eventually come to the same conclusion.
We really wanted this one to be true, but the only thing this song has in common with spanking it in a darkened room is that it's about feelings of shame and loneliness. If you watch the end of that video linked above, the band finally tells us what it's really about:
Hint: Nothing Japanese.
"The Americans seemed to think it was written about that. That it was an English phrase about masturbation. It wasn't. The song was a love song about someone who had lost their girlfriend and was going slowly crazy -- turning Japanese is just all the cliches of our angst... turning into something you never expected to."
So no, the Vapors' song isn't about dick-whittling (masturbation/penis joke quota met). It's simply about a man who has taped hundreds of pictures of a woman he's obsessed with around his tiny room as he plots to see her insides, and whose emotions can apparently transform him into a Japanese man like the Incredible Hulk.
As illustrated here.
See? It makes perfect sense.
For more misconstrued meanings, check out 6 Pieces of Music That Mean The Opposite of What You Think and 8 Romantic Songs You Didn't Know Were About Rape.
And stop by LinkSTORM to discover the true meaning of "Wonderwall."
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