First, Sex Bong is a great name for a band, and we're claiming it. Second, we wish that was all it was.
"Method of using a water pipe" is a pretty coy description from someone installing weed paraphernalia into a woman's baby-maker. The sex bong uses the vagina as a water reservoir for a bong, while the smoker "provides stimulating bubbles." Because apparently this guy thought if his mouth was sucking in illegal substances, it might as well be providing someone with an orgasm at the same time.
"You know what'd go really well with this? Vagina."
For anyone who's ever actually been a woman, or had an orgasm, this idea is more terrible than using tectonic drift as an egg timer. Actually it's twice as bad as that since the tempo is wrong twice. First, they're called bong rips for a reason. The best way to take them has more in common with band aid removal than it does with the slow and steady tempo of good sex. On the off chance that this experience does get her in the mood, the bong user is going to be more interesting in relaxing, and watching Lord of the Rings on Blu-Ray. If anyone manages to have sex after using this thing, it's going to be the sexual equivalent of the Flash arguing with a giant redwood. Which we're fairly sure happened in a comic once and are absolutely sure didn't involve crotches.
Or at least no more than spandex costumes normally do.
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