We've all heard about all-night raves chock-full of gaudily dressed, pacifier-sucking rich kids dancing to crappy house music, all celebrating how they are all so individual, yet one. One of the reasons why some kids suck on baby chew toys is because they've taken the drug Ecstasy, which makes them grind their teeth. And we can only assume the reason why they're taking Ecstasy is so they can tolerate their crappy house music.
Everyone in this room is getting laid tonight. Also, syphilis.
Its Noble Origin
Ecstasy was originally synthesized by drugmaker Merck in 1912 as a blood-clotting medicine. Because apparently some people really need their blood to not exit their bodies uncontrollably every time they get cut. Since Merck's rival Bayer already had a successful blood-clotter on the market, Merck's scientists wanted to get in on the clot game with their own version using a chemical called 3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine (MDMA). Unfortunately, the drug didn't work and was scrapped right off the bat.
The company forgot it for 15 years before rediscovering it in 1927. Researchers did some tests on animals to see whether it was good for anything but apparently found nothing interesting.
Or at least that's what the newly invented hypnotoad led them to believe.
So the formula was scrapped once more, until the 1950s, when the CIA experimented with MDMA and many, many other drugs as possible truth serums. By 1967, the godfather of Ecstasy, a former scientist with Dow Chemical named Dr. Alexander Shulgin, had gotten his hands on the formula and made some for himself, testing it and encouraging others to do it as well.
This man has invented more drugs than most people ever take.
And that was when MDMA went from a failure of a blood-clotter to a winner of a euphoria-producing club drug. On the other hand, research indicates that MDMA might be a great tool for helping post-traumatic stress disorder victims and people with autism. Soooo, best illicit drug ever?
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