LSD has long been a staple of overweight, furry men with ponytails who list their occupation as ‘Earth Shaman’ on tax forms. The CIA is more typically known for their starched suits than their mind exploring orgies. So if we told you that the CIA was trippin’ balls before Hunter S. Thompson even knew that balls existed, you’d probably call us liars. Well, prepare to have your mind, like, blown man. Here are the five strangest things you didn’t know about the CIA, and how LSD really came to be.
It all started in the early 1950s, when a double agent named Jozef Cardinal Mindszenty was tried for treason in Russia. During the trial, American agents happened to notice that Josef was, to put it modestly, high as a fucking kite. Rather than just chalking it up to Jozef being the spy version of that kid who got high before high school, the US agents figured pretty quickly that he had been doped into testifying by the Russians. Fearing a “larger scale drug attack” (like some sort of like, weed…bazooka, man?) the CIA launched an extensive, decades long research program focused on LSD. The chief goal? Fucking mind control. No really, here’s an actual line taken from an interdepartmental memo revealed to Congress:
“Can we get control of an individual to the point where he will do our bidding against his will and even against fundamental laws of nature, such as self preservation?”
Rough translation: “Can we get someone so high that they’ll kill themselves if we ask nicely enough?”
Christ! That statement is so ominous it had to be written with one hand while the other ominously stroked a white cat. This program, named Project MK-ULTRA, (which sounds more like something Godzilla would fight than a top-secret government initiative) was an umbrella program, meaning it encompassed a number of sub-projects, most of them seemingly conceived by a Hollywood screenwriter. One experiment involved trying to drug CIA agents with enough LSD to completely wipe their memories upon retirement, thus erasing all traces of potentially classified knowledge–hey, just like Men in Black! Just slightly less “jiggy” and a tad more “suicidally delirious.”
“Ha ha! Cha cha! Na na! Givin’ you psychoses, Big Willy style!”
Of course, it wasn’t all supervillainy and mad science; the CIA had a sense of humor, too… as plainly evidenced by the 60s field agent’s favorite wacky prank: Secretly dosing each other with LSD. At one point the practice was so prevalent that the CIA even hired stage magicians to train agents in sleight of hand techniques for use in their mickey-slipping.
“Okay, Frank. Are you absolutely, completely, 100 percent positive you didn’t dose my coffee this morning? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure just I took an offramp into the Metaverse here. I’m just sayin’…”
So at one point, there was a Master Magician in charge of drugging employed to the CIA. Sure, it’s a little terrifying to consider that the severe young government operative holding a gun to your head probably thinks you have a cow-face, and is detaining you for trying to disentangle his soul with your negative energy. But you have to admit - “CIA Drug Magician” is a pretty sweet job title.
But you know what an even sweeter job title is?
Official CIA Drugwhore.
That was a real position (probably several, actually). Another iteration of project MK-ULTRA involved hiring prostitutes to pick up johns and return them to a CIA safe house where, without their knowledge, they would then be dosed with large amounts of LSD so that operatives could observe and record their reactions from behind one-way mirrors. This project was dubbed Operation Midnight Climax… presumably so that they wouldn’t have to rebrand it as black market porno if the research didn’t turn out. There were several of these CIA-run brothels–in San Francisco, Marin, New York–and at various times they had dozens of whores on government payroll. Though sadly, all free government issue drug and whorehouses were closed by the mid-60s, the research obtained there was invaluable in calculating exactly how long a man can keep a boner while being attacked by carnivorous winged mushrooms.
“Did you finish your drink, baby? Do you want to fuck me now? Do you still want to be inside of me, Larry?”
Oh, and in case you think the CIA was being at all responsible with their unfettered access to acid, whores and one-way mirrors, allow George White; the man in charge of the entire project, to describe his career, in his own words, as taken from this memo sent to his superior at the Federal Bureau of Narcotics:
“I was a very minor missionary, actually a heretic, but I toiled wholeheartedly in the vineyards because it was fun, fun, fun. Where else could a red-blooded American boy lie, kill, cheat, steal, rape, and pillage with the sanction and blessing of the All-Highest?”
And that is officially the scariest violence-fueled drug rant ever. He sounds like Hunter S. Thompson crossed with Conan the Barbarian. Surely he’s… joking or something, right? Let’s double-check this with an outside source like, say a fellow agent in Operation Midnight Climax, one Lt. Ira Feldman:
“White was a son of a bitch, but he was a great cop. He made that fruitcake Hoover look like Nancy Drew. The LSD, that was just the tip of the iceberg. Write this down. Espionage. Assassinations. Dirty tricks. Drug experiments. Sexual encounters and the study of prostitutes for clandestine use. That’s what I was doing when I worked for George White and the CIA.”
So… there you go. Operation Midnight Climax is not only verifiable, but apparently there was a man in charge of a massive, top-secret government initiative who was equal parts Jerry Garcia and Dirty Harry.
This is all starting to sound like the plot to an Orwellian science fiction movie isn’t it? Evil government forces using sexuality, drugs and mad science to erase the minds and personalities of innocent civilians–you throw some Nazis in there and you’ve got a Michael Bay movie on your hands.
Oh wait… that actually happened!
The precursor to project MK-ULTRA, the innocuously named Operation Paperclip, began in 1945 when the Joint Intelligence Objectives Agency started actively recruiting former Nazi scientists into their burgeoning research programs. Several of these scientists had actually first been identified as Nazis when they were actively prosecuted as war criminals in the Nuremberg trials! Of course, then President Truman wasn’t going to have any dirty Ratzies on his payroll and explicitly ordered that anybody officially found to have been a member of the Nazi party could not participate in Operation Paperclip. And the armed forces were totally cool with that!
“Don’t worry, sir, we’ll technically obey your every word! Why am I stressing the word ‘technically’? Was, I? Why, no reason…”
So they promptly erased the criminal and military records of the aforementioned mad Nazi scientist war criminals, instantly clearing them of all charges. Bam! No problems here.
Nazi scientists use civilians in twisted experiments to further their efforts to wipe out an entire race, and they get an all clear and a new job? And yet we at Cracked ride one little elephant naked through a middle school and all of a sudden we have to inform our neighbors when we move to a new town…
Listen, we’re pretty forgiving people here at Cracked. We don’t like to hold grudges. We like to give the benefit of the doubt to anybody–even those sexy ladies on the corner of 24th and Lexington that all our friends swear are actually dudes–we still give them rides in exchange for favors. We like to believe in people; that’s all. So the U.S. Government hired Nazi war criminals to spearhead a worldwide campaign of uninformed, non-consensual drugging using their elite army of magicians and whores… so what?
Forgiveness is a virtue given unto man by God himself.
But some things cannot be forgiven. Some things are so dark, so brutal and so irredeemable that even the kindliest priest would roundhouse kick you right of the confessional if he heard you admit to them. And there’s one thing that the CIA did with Project MK-ULTRA that cannot ever be forgiven.
They invented hippies.
Your tax dollars hard at work.
Author Ken Kesey, widely credited with kickstarting the entire hippy movement in the early 60s, was himself a subject of MK-ULTRA’s experiments. It was unknown to Kesey at the time exactly what the experiments were for, or by whom–as it’s doubtful he would’ve been quite as stoked to join up if he’d known the government was attempting to erase his personality using Nazi science–but his participation in the MK-ULTRA drug studies was what eventually led him to start the Merry Pranksters, who first widely advocated the “mind-expanding” properties of LSD and eventually gave rise to the modern hippy. Kesey himself, of course, was a genius and a visionary, but regardless of his intentions, his actions are directly responsible for that patchouli-soaked, white-guy-bedreadlocked Birkenstock monster you can find strumming its guitar outside the public libraries of every major city on earth. Kesey began this, and the CIA began him.
So, in summation: The CIA, with a little help from the Nazis, accidentally helped invent hippies while they were trying to figure out how to brainwash communists.
Pour that on your granola and eat it, you zombie pinko bastards!
This entry was posted on Saturday, May 30th, 2009 at 4:00 am and is filed under Drugs, Nazis, Science. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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September 14th, 2009 at 11:15 am
Frank Olson was an American citizen, born in 1910 and murdered in New York City in 1953 by the CIA. Here’s an outline of the case: Fort Detrick is the U.S. Army’s biowarfare facility, founded in 1943. Frank Olson was one of the first scientists to work there. From the final years of World War II through the Korean War and up to the present time scientists at Fort Detrick developed biological weapons including anthrax.
Following the end of World War II the U.S. conducted “Operation Paperclip”, which scoured Germany for Nazi scientists who could be useful. It found some who had conducted experiments on prisoners in Dachau and other Nazi concentration camps, including one Kurt Blome. He was among the defendants in the Nuremberg War Trials, and would have been convicted and hanged but for American intervention. In return for agreeing to provide information to the Americans about his experiments in Dachau, and advice in the development of their own germ warfare program, an acquittal was arranged, and he escaped the gallows.
Frank Olson and Kurt Blome (who had become a protegé of the Americans) later met at Camp King in Germany in the early 1950s when Olson made several visits there to participate in “Operation Artichoke”, in which the U.S. Army and the CIA experimented with the use of drugs (including LSD) in interrogation. Olson was present during brutal interrogations by the Americans of Soviet prisoners and suspected double agents, some of whom died under torture. Olson was deeply disturbed by what he had seen.
In the summer of 1953 Olson travelled again to Europe. In Berlin in August he witnessed several brutal interrogations involving torture and the use of drugs. On his return to the U.S. he confided to a friend and colleague at Fort Detrick, Norman Cournoyer, that he was disgusted with what the CIA was doing and was determined to leave.
In November 1953 Olson attended a meeting of a group of CIA agents at a country retreat where they discussed their work. Olson was suspected by the CIA of being a security risk. He was given a drink laced with LSD and when well under the influence of the drug he was subjected to interrogation using Artichoke techniques, probably a very unpleasant experience.
A week later Olson was staying in Room 1018A at the Hotel Statler in New York City under the supervision of a CIA doctor, Richard Lashbrook. The manager of the hotel, Armond Pastore, heard a thump outside and went out to find Olson dying on the pavement, having fallen from the 13th floor. The manager later found that a phone call had been made from Room 1018A to a number in Long Island and the caller had said only, “Olson’s gone.”
The CIA maintained that Olson had leapt through the closed window to his death. However, an autopsy conducted forty years later on the exhumed corpse revealed an injury to the skull most likely caused by a blow to the head and no evidence of any cuts to the body from broken glass. It seems that Olson, exactly as recommended in a CIA assassination manual, was struck on the head (possibly while drugged) and thrown from the window to his death thirteen floors below.
Olson was working at Fort Detrick during the Korean War and some have speculated that the U.S. developed germ weapons which it used against Korean and Chinese soldiers and civilians. If so then Olson would probably have known about this. The CIA believed that there was the risk that Olson would reveal what he knew about the activities of the CIA during the Korean war and about its brutal experiments in interrogation techniques, so he was murdered.
The fact that Frank Olson had died shortly after being given LSD in a CIA experiment came out in 1975 as a consequence of President Ford’s Rockefeller Commission investigation into the CIA’s domestic activities. Further investigation was called for, but in a White House memo advisers to President Ford stated that this would risk revealing state secrets (probably meaning, in part, the use by the U.S. of germ warfare in Korea); further investigation was suppressed and the whole matter covered up. The names of those White House advisers were Dick Cheney, current U.S. Vice-President, and Donald Rumsfeld, current Secretary of Defense. They have never been questioned as to what they knew about Olson’s death.
A California history professor, Kathryn Olmstead, has discovered documents at the Gerald Ford library which were written by Cheney and Rumsfeld.
They show how far the White House went to conceal information about Olson’s death — and his role in preparing anthrax and other biological weapons. …
Cheney and Rumsfeld were given the task of covering up the details of Frank Olson’s death. At the time, Rumsfeld was White House Chief of Staff to President Gerald Ford. Dick Cheney was a senior White House assistant.
The documents uncovered by Professor Olmstead include one that states “Dr Olson’s job was so sensitive that it is highly unlikely that we would submit relevant evidence”.
In another memo, Cheney acknowledges that “the Olson lawyers will seek to explore all the circumstances of Dr Olson’s employment, as well as those concerning his death. In any trial, it may become apparent that we are concealing evidence for national security reasons and any settlement or judgement reached thereafter could be perceived as money paid to cover up the activities of the CIA”.
Frank Olson’s family received US$750,000 to settle their claims against the US government.
— US Vice President Dick Cheney and Secretary of Defence Donald Rumsfeld Linked to “Murder of CIA Scientist”
Frank’s son, Eric, believes … his father was murdered … to “protect” the American people from the knowledge that their own government had taken up and extended Nazi experiments on mind control, psychological torture and chemical warfare — and that it was conducting these experiments as the Nazis did, on unwilling subjects, on captives and “expendables,” even to the point of “termination.”
September 14th, 2009 at 6:31 am
dont worry penis hippies hate you to
September 13th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
its not the fault of the marines that the people in charge of telling them what to do are THE EPITOME of whats wrong with society, its not our fault that you are a brainwashed kill slave, why dont you try actually thinking about things before you say yes sir…..
always faithful to what? the country? who runs the country? the government who does lots of terrible things to its own people? oh, i forgot, thats what governments do
September 13th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
gonzo here is a site for you…(please pass along to your other MIND BLOWING RETARDED FRIENDS): http://www.hookedonphonics.com/pre-k-category?C1=18
enjoy learning to read and maybe you might actually appreciate what this “plastic” civilization has done for you. SEMPER FI XD
September 13th, 2009 at 8:21 am
i fucking hate hippies
September 12th, 2009 at 5:55 pm
hmmm, fascinating….
September 8th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
While it’s true today’s drugs come from an outside source, can we blame the dumb, weak, slow minded, cross eyed, uneducated, ignoramus, retards who attempt to buy, light up and puff on something that ruins their entire lives?—–Gee lets blame the government for making you use.
September 2nd, 2009 at 10:26 pm
Really gonzo?!!!! Wow! Hey did the hippies know how to spell? Because you sure as hell don’t!
August 26th, 2009 at 9:34 am
whats wrong with hippies? you people are giving them alot of crap. for what?? smoking drugs and playing guitar…. yuou people probibly hate them because you know there right. that something is horribly wrong with the plastic society we live in.
the ippies were a movement and actualy did alot…todays hippies just wish they were there cuz its not the same world. gotsh and vamps are not a social movement like the hippie. what did the goths do? sit and solk in thir self pitty. id rather be preaching love and peace and doing something, or at least not contributing to polutioon and litter and distruction of this world…. the earth needs more hippies
August 18th, 2009 at 10:56 am
That was badass
August 16th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
In the picture in number 3, dose the girl look like a blond Michel Jackson or is that my me?
August 16th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
this was the greatest thing i’ve ever read!
August 16th, 2009 at 11:05 am
im not american and i fucking hate hippies too
August 15th, 2009 at 1:28 am
2nd attempted comment….1st one never worked. I was aware of MK-Ultra long before this article..they were drugging mental patients in the sanitarium in North Battleford(close to where I live) with LSD in the same time period
August 13th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
the author of this article seems to have left out the brain cutting experiments.
That’s right: the CIA would take imprisoned criminals, dose them with LSD, and CUT OUT CHUNK OF THEIR THEIR FUCKING BRAINS… WHILE THEY WERE AWAKE to see what kinds of effects it had.
August 5th, 2009 at 10:48 pm
Hate Hippies? –for the same reason we hate mosquitoes–they’re blood-suckers…
August 5th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
its not goths anymore now its emos and “vamp kids ” sadly id rather have the hippies
August 5th, 2009 at 9:05 am
Hippy is another word for bum with a hemp shirt. It’s just a fashion nowadays and back then it was an excuse to not go to school and gangbang whatever chick is closest to you at the bonfire party. “Free love”. lol
today we have the goths and im guessing in another decade we’ll have some other “unique” movement that is nothing more than bored kids.
The article was great. I’ve heard most of it before, but I like Cracked’s take on it.
August 4th, 2009 at 10:40 am
i never knew!
August 3rd, 2009 at 8:53 pm
Please take a moment to watch my LSD Documentary film I have posted in four parts at youtube.
It features a new interveiw with Ram Dass. Paul Krassner of the YIPPIES, and features one of the preachers involved in Tim Leary’s Miricle of Good friday Experiment. Plus the CIA’s LSD Brothel is located in San Francisco…please share with other open minded folks
here is link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZdz0G4lG6k
July 28th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Great article, but I am disappointed to see that you failed to mention that the first documented case of the CIA killing an American citizen fell under the MK-ULTRA program. (Frank Olson in 1953)
A good read, if you are into the government getting into weird shit: The Men Who Stare at Goats, by Jon Ronson. If you’re too damn lazy, there is a fiction movie set to come out in the next year or so, loosely based on this non-fiction book.
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:22 am
[...] The CIA’s 5 Most Mind Blowing Experiments With LSD [...]
July 20th, 2009 at 2:03 am
@Muksli:
What’s great about people that aren’t hippies is that they aren’t defined by the fact that they live as a leech to society, living off of tax dollars from the working citizens.
July 12th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Never knew Mindszenty was given LSD. No wonder the good cardinal hid out in the American embassy for 15 years. The government has conducted plenty of clandestine (top secret) experiments on both our unsuspecting service people as well as the population. 1932 - Tuskegee Syphilis Experiment is well documented. All subjects subsequently succumb over the ensuing decades to the disease. 1940, Chicago Correction Office infected 400 prisoners with malaria to study disease. 1942 - 7th Day Adventists who are not on active duty are recruited by the army for chemical warfare experiments on mustard gas. 1950 - Navy sprays a cloud of bacteria over San Francisco Bay infecting people with pneumonia-like symptoms. 1965 - Holmesberg Prison inmates in Philly are exposed to dioxin (Agent Orange) to study its effects. 1985 - 50% of resident in Managua, Nicaragua diagnosed with dengue fever following an US aerial recon flight. The US tested atomic warheads above ground, in the desert to monitor fallout and how it effected health. !978 - CIA continues to conduct LSD testing in Europe and Asia. The name of the game is pick your poison. Never volunteer!
July 9th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Wow, talk about ‘issues’, I could think of a more deserving target demographic for your stoked up hatred. How about you tell us what’s so great about people who aren’t hippies (yourself included) instead of just spewing hatred. A nice little pros/cons list? As you said, you do like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Pretty funny read but I’m not sure I agree with all of your opinions… ^^
July 9th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
excellent article (dude)
for more awesome totally gnarly whacked out insight on the ‘CIA’ creating Hippies and not coincidentally a world of warped muzak, be sure to check out Dave McGowan’s best-book-that-was-never-published:
Inside The LC: The Strange but Mostly True Story of Laurel Canyon and the Birth of the Hippie Generation
http://davesweb.cnchost.com/
Sense of irony and humor partially required, but Not Entirely Necessary
July 9th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
becuase hippies are anoying as shit. and don’t say i’ve never seen REAL hippies before, i live in Eugene fucking oregon. i cant stand them there almost as bad as uberwhite republican super conservatives. there posers. everyone of em. why? by “breaking away from the herd, man” you idiots just created another one. nice try to be authentic, now your also a hypocrite. most just do it to be part of a social group, which is fine, but then deny it. plus their all talk. ghandi did shit, martin luther king did shit, and they all did it peacefully, but they werent idiots sitting around licking stamps pretending their expanding there minds and showing everyone. dumb fucks. get realistic, and you might be able to do something. ( i love internet rants…)
July 9th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
why is it everytime hippy is mentiond all everyone can think of is pot and bad smells. sorry we like to float in the clouds a little once and a while. and yes sometimes we get dirty working in our gardens. the stink is from hard work try it.
THIS WAS SUPOSED TO BE ABOUT ACID.
Pot has been around longer too. learn about it.
July 9th, 2009 at 6:08 am
Another good expose on experiments on unwitting subjects can be found at: http://www.criticaleye.org/humanguineapig.htm
July 8th, 2009 at 5:44 pm
Why do americans hate hippies so much?
July 6th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
Please check out my LSD Documentary Film…POWER & CONTROL: LSD IN THE SIXTIES
I have posted the entire film in four parts at this link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZdz0G4lG6k
Film features Ram Dass, Grouch Marx on LSD, the CIA LSD Brothel (MK ULTRA), LSD and the Protest and Free Speech Movement and more.
please share these links with interested parties.
July 4th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Here’s the new series about #3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5bkcgh7w7k
July 1st, 2009 at 8:03 pm
[...] The CIA’s 5 Most Mind Blowing Experiments With LSD [...]
June 27th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
I killed Steve Irwin! A ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!
June 27th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Hippies. Hiiippiiieeess… they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad.
June 16th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
stingraysteve is probably just upset because you called out his hippie brethren, or maybe his white guy dreads are too tight and it’s affecting his sense of humor.
besides, if someone doesn’t know the difference between ‘your’ and ‘you’re’ how can you take them seriously?
June 14th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
It’s crazy….but it just…might….be—-TRUE!!!
MK Ultra did indeed happen; can’t vouch for all the details, but–hey, nobody asked me to, either.
Oh, and you’re right: stingraysteve is quite the tightass jerk, n’est-ce pas?
June 14th, 2009 at 7:00 am
Wasn’t Ken Kesey that guy from “The White Shadow?”
Fuckin hippies.
June 13th, 2009 at 1:15 am
How the HELL can people be this obsessed with Nazis and World War 2 in this day in age? I mean is it a religion with guys like you?
June 10th, 2009 at 2:04 am
The CIA’s 5 Most Mind Blowing Experiments With LSD | Cracked.com…
-…
June 8th, 2009 at 6:23 am
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June 7th, 2009 at 8:26 pm
[...] The history of LSD…in summation, the CIA, with a little help from the Nazis, accidentally helped invent hippies while they were trying to figure out how to brainwash communists. [...]
June 7th, 2009 at 11:06 am
It’s humorous, ya, but that doesn’t mean it’s made up.
June 7th, 2009 at 5:03 am
[...] [...]
June 6th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
wow… stingraysteve… have you never heard of cracked? are you unaware that it’s a COMEDY magazine/website? their goal here is most definitely NOT to provide unbiased factual information in a news format… it’s HUMOR. they take something with an element of truth to it and spin it until it’s funny, and the majority of people who don’t have a rod permanently embedded up their ass are able to recognize that. anyone who takes this article as seriously as you do needs to reexamine their attitude towards life and discover the wonders of not feeling the need to be a know-it-all prick all the time. you may actually discover that life is more enjoyable when you don’t take everything so seriously.
June 5th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
bloody mental! even if 1/2 of this is true its mad!
June 4th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Wow, I’m embarassed for the author(s) of this piece. Would hate to think it represents the apogy of journalism in the USA.
This piece is an example of what happens when:
1. The authors have an agenda.
2. Research is spotty.
3. Your editor has given you the point of view BEFORE you write the piece.
4. You think your readers are really gulible.
5. You have no insight or conection to the subject or the historical context.
My first hit of ACID was legal and I am the wiser for it. Your pandering to todays hipsters cheapens your craft and mis-informs todays hipsters. Lets hope the really bright people your trying to reach didn’t read this crap!
June 4th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
SHIT!
HOLY FUCK!
June 4th, 2009 at 7:22 am
SHIT! This rules.
June 3rd, 2009 at 11:30 pm
WOW THIS IS SOME DEEP SHIT RIGHT HER ITS ASAME ITS ALL TRUE . AND IF THEY DID ALL THIS THEY KNOW THE TRUE BENEFITS OF CANNIBUS AND ALL OTHER DRUGS THEY JUST HAVE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE A PROFIT LEGALLY………………….
June 3rd, 2009 at 7:07 pm
lol… the first graphic for #4 is what they used for the Hoffman blotter that came out a couple years ago in honor of the good doctor’s centennial. I was lucky enough to get a few hits of that shit, and it was easily the BEST acid I’d ever done.
I agree that LSD is a valuable tool for self discovery and improvement. Nothing like a ten hour long bad trip where all of your deepest darkest secrets and insecurities take turns kicking you square in the nutsack to show you what is really important in your life.
Discover your life by losing your ego.
June 2nd, 2009 at 10:54 am
I love the column, dude.
Especially the ones that can confirm (or at least touch the surface) as to what kind of twisted diabolical shit our government is capable of doing to American citizens in the pursuit of Mind Control, or any other form of control for that matter.
I’v been here for months writing this type of information in PMs and comments sections, and nobody will ever believe me because of the fact that I tend to be a rapid fire loud-mouth asshole most of the time (for entertainment purposes of course, this is a comedy site after all).
Plus the fact that I never cared enough to post any links and resources to prove my point, when I can just always stick with my “FUCK IT THEN, DON’T BELIEVE ME” attitude.
Anyways It’s not our jobs to educate all these naive misguided people, when open-minded parents and school teachers should have already covered the bases for that.
Any normal human adult with a fair understanding of how the system works should be privy to this sort of information, but unfortunately it takes a reputable news source like Cracked.com to make it happen, thanks to one Mr. Robert Brockway.
Plus, this was a 10 times funnier read than all those Declassified secret documents that I had to sort through for the last 7 years. Great Job!
June 2nd, 2009 at 10:35 am
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June 2nd, 2009 at 7:08 am
Funny how despite all these experiments, the US government is still utterly clueless about the potential of psychedelics. They pretty much said to themselves “well, it doesn’t kill or brainwash people so what fucking good is it?”. Sure, it’s probably the single most important category of theraputic drug ever discovered - but it can’t kill people so close the fucking doors on it and while you’re at it, why not make it schedule 1 so legitimate therapists are forever barred from performing any real research into its benfits. Those clueless morons have set life-changing research back by at least 40 years.
June 2nd, 2009 at 6:24 am
someone should totally turn this into a movie. and I have to say, “patchouli-soaked, white-guy-bedreadlocked Birkenstock monster” is quite possibly the movie amazing description of hippies I have ever heard. OH! and I have never heard a title as mind-blowingly awesome as “CIA Drug Magician.” OMFG. loved the article, it was fantastic.
June 1st, 2009 at 5:40 pm
amazing I got a chubby http://www.thedrunkcanuck.com
June 1st, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Unbelievable!!! http://neilsnotes.com/index.php?page=15&catid=23&sku=E-CD00396
June 1st, 2009 at 1:22 pm
drugs are cool….
June 1st, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Love your writing, man!
My parents were very into LSD and I was exposed to it at an early age. I think more studies should be done on the long term psychological and sociological effects of the drug.
I believe it can help people to tap into a universal cosmic wisdom that is embedded into our genetic memory. Check out my LSD/Counterculture stories here: http://dryotamrcnhppkd.blogspot.com/2009/01/1963-venice-beach-ca.html
June 1st, 2009 at 12:13 pm
To be honest, “Operation Paperclip” does sound rather terrifying… (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Office_Assistant)
June 1st, 2009 at 10:31 am
Oh thank god. Someone else sees Micheal Jackson as Marilyn Monroe in that picture. I thought I was going nuts!
June 1st, 2009 at 8:23 am
Clearly, no one proofreads these articles.
June 1st, 2009 at 8:08 am
Power is maintained by eliminating competitors (by force and distraction) and controlling your followers (by fear and rewards).
If you can get your followers to fear drugs and your competition to use them, it gets a lot easyer to keep in power.
That’s why anti-drug propaganda is retarded. Because they only want people who are easely manipulated to believe in it, while at the same time acting like a commercial for people with a rebellious nature.
What later became hippies started out as a serious political movement that encouraged people to refuse to go to war, demanding better wages and security for workers etc…
They were sucesfully kept out of the white house by making drugs available in schools while at the same time launching ridiculous anti-drug campains.
So they like, didn’t they accidently invented hippies, they like did it on purpose dude. ^^
June 1st, 2009 at 7:46 am
There’s a new web series called OPERATION MIDNIGHT CLIMAX about the CIA run LSD experiments in brothels during the 1950’s: http://tinyurl.com/laueu3
June 1st, 2009 at 7:38 am
Nice Alex Grey usage, as well.
June 1st, 2009 at 7:31 am
Other than Ken Kesey, do know who else was a subject in MK-ULTRA? Ted “Unabomber” Kaczynski. He was one of the few “willing” participants in the experiments while he was a student at Berkley. I say “willing” in quotes because he knew that he was being experimented on, but not why and with what.
One year after MK-ULTRA was brought before Congress and exposed to the public, Ted sent out his first mail bomb.
June 1st, 2009 at 6:58 am
great story,enjoyed it very much!
Funny how the gov.cant even get LSD anymore for their “experiments”
June 1st, 2009 at 6:50 am
Holy Crap! That poster looks like Michael Jackson in a Monroe wig! Now I’m freakin’ out man….
June 1st, 2009 at 6:50 am
Thats not gum i just gave you Charly,… its blotter acid. GOT YOU FUCKER! HaHa, your goin to be soo fucked up at your kids birthday party.
June 1st, 2009 at 6:24 am
[...] The CIA’s Most Mind-Blowing Experiments with LSD [Cracked] [...]
June 1st, 2009 at 5:29 am
The CIA, ex-Nazi scientists, Conan the Drug Lord, magicians, whores, hippes, and LSD.
Why has this not been made into a comic book yet?
June 1st, 2009 at 5:27 am
I suppose being slipped a dose of acid is better than a bullet to the brain, but as pranks go, that one is right up there with the “exploding toilette.”
June 1st, 2009 at 4:53 am
Okay, so, using the appropriate jargon—
“This article didn’t peak, man. I got a little rush, y’know, but then I was just bummed. I think I need another half a hit from the archives, or maybe I’ll roll up a big, fat Swaim or something. It just — I dunno, dude. I didn’t even catch any tracers or anything.”
Having said that, can you for one minute imagine being OVER-dosed with LSD by people who had no idea what the hell kind of Pink Floyd Marching-Hammer shit might result? Dudes trying to friggin’ ERASE your mind with acid??? Oh, mama. That couldn’t have been pretty.
June 1st, 2009 at 4:02 am
Damn Hippies
June 1st, 2009 at 2:47 am
the cars a peugeot 307 btw lol dunt know why i decided to post this
May 31st, 2009 at 9:25 pm
Enjoy my link you bitch!
May 31st, 2009 at 8:59 pm
FUCK HIM FOR NOT LICKING SASCHA BARON COHEN’S ASSHOLE!
May 31st, 2009 at 6:58 pm
“So the U.S. Government hired Nazi war criminals to spearhead a worldwide campaign of uninformed, non-consensual drugging using their elite army of magicians and whores… so what?”
Greatest. Sentence. Ever.
May 31st, 2009 at 5:25 pm
I hope this cheers you up my friend - XOXO!: http://neilsnotes.com/index.php?page=15&catid=25&sku=E-CD00422
May 31st, 2009 at 5:16 pm
tl;dr. I’m doing this for the LULZ.
May 31st, 2009 at 5:12 pm
this wasn’t a very good article
May 31st, 2009 at 5:00 pm
I hate you and I hate everybody. Fuck this country. Fuck my stupid boss for firing me. Fuck the United States of America. Fuck North Korea and those stupid ching chong nip faggots and carpet munching lesbians over there. Fuck the fucking southies, niggers, chinks, japs, flips, spics, wetbacks, peckerwoods, wiggers, religious freaks, catholics, conservatives fuck everyone. You’re all a bunch of stupid little fuckers yeah that’s right. Fuck Swaim and his gay ass cracked website blogs and shit. I’m going to go watch my Little Pony while I beat off to some Strawberry Shortcake Casette tapes. Oh yeah Bristol Palin is a shit eating slut too!
May 31st, 2009 at 4:55 pm
[...] The CIA’s 5 Most Mind Blowing Experiments With LSD | Cracked.com. Strange [...]
May 31st, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Just a quick note…Operation Paperclip only brought over Rocket Scientists that surrendered with Warner von Braun to avoid being taken to work for the USSR. There were plenty of other scientists brought over, but it was only those Rocket Scientists, Engineers and so on working at Penamunda that came over with Paper Clip.
May 31st, 2009 at 12:59 pm
MK-ULTRA was terrifying, and I do like it when people are actually made aware of what it was. History is important!
May 31st, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Well, new age hippies are pretty fucking reprehensible, but the old school proper hippies had cred.
They were mostly off their fucking tits on acid and shagged anything with a pulse.
Hendrix, The Kinks, The Beatles and most of the best bands of the 60s were hippies.
May 31st, 2009 at 11:47 am
Hippies are the smelliest and stupidest creatures known to the civilized world. I tend to lump them into the same catagory as inbred hill-billies.
Also, the CIA invented “UFO sightings” during the early years of the Cold War. The downside is that they never anticipated how inconceivably gullible people are and have been trying to convince people that aliens don’t really exist for over 40 years.
May 31st, 2009 at 10:57 am
What’s all the stupid talk of hippies being dirty. I’ve been a hippy since 67 and have showered almost every day since then. We were into making love. You don’t go trying to lay a nice hippy chick being all smelly,we all lived in the shower and the bed. Some people mistake homeless people with long hair as hippies. All the hippies I know now and then were clean people with long hair. What makes a hippy is whats inside their heart, and we don’t like government doing all their wierd shit to people,is that so bad?
May 31st, 2009 at 10:42 am
Huxley’s dystopia had the drugs and sexy times. Orwell’s dystopia was sexless and anti-fun. Like WASPs. Super funny, though.
May 31st, 2009 at 10:42 am
One flew over the cuckoo’s nest is a great freaking book.
May 31st, 2009 at 10:40 am
[...] LSD experiments in mind control and memory-clearing figure heavily in the below summary of events : The CIA, with a little help from the Nazis, [...]
May 31st, 2009 at 10:40 am
[...] LSD experiments in mind control and memory-clearing figure heavily in the below summary of events : The CIA, with a little help from the Nazis, [...]
May 31st, 2009 at 9:29 am
Was enjoying this article until the writer revealed himself to be a douchebag right winger. Why is it that after 30 years of Raegan-Bush politics, these addle brained halfwits still think that the hippies are the worst thing to happen to this culture in the last 60 years.
He Brockway, know that as a rightwinger, facts and reality must completely elude you, but take a look around son. the misery and crap that this country is mired in now isn’t the work of hippies, its the work of a bunch of buttoned down, ultra-conservative wanna be fascists who are as opposite what the hippies were as you can imagine.
May 31st, 2009 at 8:21 am
[...] peep this (warning it contains pictures of pennywise) Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Running training – Build core strength by [...]
May 31st, 2009 at 7:07 am
“widely credited with kickstarting the entire hippy movement in the early 60s”?
really?
so you’re just not…..going to base any of this comedy on fact anymore?
May 31st, 2009 at 6:33 am
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May 31st, 2009 at 5:09 am
Valid links or it didn’t happen!
May 31st, 2009 at 3:25 am
Hey This Guy,
That info comes from Tom Wolfe’s description of Kesey’s activities in “The Electric Kool Aid Acid Test,” which discussed the Merry Pranksters etc. Hope that helped!
May 31st, 2009 at 3:03 am
Poo!
May 31st, 2009 at 2:17 am
Kinda interesting how the very thing they created they were trying to destroy. The FBI had all of these PSAs about how hipsters were evil and were going to come kill your kids.
May 31st, 2009 at 2:16 am
WHERE IS THE DOCUMENTATION FOR THE KEN KESEY-MKULTRA CONNECTION?
Wikipedia refers to Kesey participating in an MKULTRA experiment (on the pages for Ken Kesey and MKULTRA), but it’s cited source is the following article, which makes no mention of MKULTRA or the CIA. It only states:
” As a graduate student in creative writing at Stanford in the late 1950s, he volunteered for an experiment in the psychology department and took mescaline, peyote and LSD, an experience he said changed his life for the better. ”
http://www.dropbass.net/news_updates/2001/ken_kesey/oregonian.html
Google searches for “Standford and MKULTRA” and “Ken Kesey and MKULTRA” only seem to return crackpot conspiracy theory sites.
Love your comedy Brockway, but lets try to stick to somewhat verifiable information when stating facts. Wikipedia is not the gospel.
May 31st, 2009 at 12:50 am
what gives the cia the right to fuck with people who are just trying ot get laid? If i was in these tests I’d be really really pissed off. they might have ruined these peoples brains.
May 30th, 2009 at 11:30 pm
Even CIA and FBI do not know this big secret.
I found a very great dating club—Seekbi.com–, where you can find your rich and sexy lovers. It’s so special and exciting! Do not tell others.
May 30th, 2009 at 11:17 pm
I love the Alex Grey artwork in this!
May 30th, 2009 at 11:12 pm
I have yet to see any one call Brockway an idiot. was all the insulting him in previous articles just some sort of new guy hazing? But yeah, this needs to be made into a movie. It may rival “Fear and Loathing”
as “the most awesome movie ever” in druggie circles.
May 30th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
Haha, it’s cool to hate on hippies because if they truly are hippies they won’t care about your hate. It’s those self-contradicting hipsters that want to tell you how your life is all wrong that are douchey because they are making hypocrites out of themselves.
You can’t impose pacifism. At best you can direct by example. It’s funny that most hippies seem to be wearing uniforms.
May 30th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
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May 30th, 2009 at 10:15 pm
One of the things that a large dose of lsd (1000 mcg) will do is completely remove the barrier between the conscious and unconscious mind. This has the potential to create terror in some people. A level of terror that is not possible to describe.
You must either come to terms with your whole self or live in the terror of trying to put back the barrier.
I know.
Low doses of lsd can produce nice sensory enhancements and a feeling of union that yogis and other mystics work all their lives to obtain.
May 30th, 2009 at 10:06 pm
“So, in summation: The CIA, with a little help from the Nazis, accidentally helped invent hippies while they were trying to figure out how to brainwash communists.”
Hmnnn
May 30th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
That article proved that the CIA is made of undiluted awesome … up until the hippies.
May 30th, 2009 at 8:45 pm
Something tells me Brockway is not going to get through the weekend…
He hasn’t updated his Twitter account either…
May 30th, 2009 at 8:42 pm
Loved it.
May 30th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
Hippies are such tools. “Alternative” lifestyle ahahaha. It’s not so alternative… it’s more like a big joke. They want changes as big as world peace, but don’t want to make real sacrafices to get it. They just want to be Drugged up pacifists sitting around with sign and shit shovving crap down anybodies throat who will give em a second to listen. I can’t take somebody serious who smells like shit and has the ultimate plan of a kindergartener. No wonder all the real old hippies are so apathetic now. All that dope soaked in, and then after Vietnam was over, they realized that the party was over. Now it’s a fashion and all you granola wanna be college trustafarians are buying recycled non-groundbreaking garbage as an excuse to wear stupid clothes. I know recycling helps, but not that sort of shyt.
May 30th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
The lady on the poster for #3 looks like a blonde michael jackson…it kinda bothers me.
May 30th, 2009 at 8:37 pm
[...] The CIA’s 5 Most Mind Blowing Experiments With LSDcracked.com [...]
May 30th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
“… top-secret government initiative who was equal parts Jerry Garcia and Dirty Harry.”
Forget LSD, lines like that blow my mind in ways hallucinogenics can only dream of. Add in some zombie pinko bastards and you’ve got yourself one hell of an evening.
May 30th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
Dave S, you can’t blame the drugs for that, it’s the person behind the drugs and their excessive use and abuse of them. When used properly, and on a sporadic basis, LSD is not a bad drug, nor are the majority of other “hard” drugs. All LSD really does is remove the boundaries between your senses allowing them to all “run together” in a sense. Usually your brain distinguishes between sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell, but on LSD it doesn’t, so you have a fucked up sensual experience, leading to hallucinations and whatnot. It’s okay once in a while, but on a regular basis it will fuck with you, leading to mental breakdowns because your brain can’t handle a barrage of information like that all the time, you’ll fry your neurons.
May 30th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
dave s Says:
May 30th, 2009 at 5:56 pm:
That is stupid Dave.
Yes, LSD induced Syd Barret’s Psychosis. It also made Syd Barret. All of the brilliant Lyrics he wrote were written when he was high as a kite. LSD is a big part of what Pink Floyd is.
Learn to love drugs. I sure do.
May 30th, 2009 at 7:26 pm
Okay Brockway, I think your girlfriend and I have to have a mudwrestling pillowfight championship dual because you’re cemented as my favourite cracked writer, and all the other girls on here fuck their favourite cracked writers. So yea. We should schedule that shit, lol.
May 30th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
I’m surprised nobody has picked up on the Nazi torture reference. The photo with the Nazi officers and the subject in the tank is a famous one. It shows one of the infamous “Medical Experiments” in which unfortunate jewish captives were immersed in ice water to determine how long Nazi pilots could survive if they had to ditch in cold seas. They found that the wretched subjects took much longer to die when their necks were above water.
May 30th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
I love how after every article on cracked about LSD (and there have been several) your left with the distinct impression either the authors have never actually even read an account of the effects or are somehow getting ahold of a whole nother grade of acid unbeknownst to the rest of the world.
May 30th, 2009 at 6:38 pm
wellllllll there goes everything i ever knew about lsd.
May 30th, 2009 at 6:34 pm
During world war 2 the military did experiment with many drugs on many solders. One Solder during the LSD trials was Rod Serling.
May 30th, 2009 at 6:06 pm
dongtacular!
May 30th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
You may not know that Tommy Douglas, father of Canadian socialized medicine (and Kiefer Sutherland’s grandfather BTW), gave the thumbs up to LSD usage in Saskatchewan.
http://www.cbc.ca/sask100/en_text/timeline/1946_to_1955.html
May 30th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
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May 30th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
lsd wrecked pink floyd member syd barrett, i will never forgive the morons who made lsd, made hippies and made huge numbers severely mentally ill
May 30th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
To be fair, there is a rare type of hippie who does wash, wears reasonable clothing and can hold down a job. That type of hippie is actually kind of fun to be around.
May 30th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
“his actions are directly responsible for that patchouli-soaked, white-guy-bedreadlocked Birkenstock monster you can find strumming its guitar outside the public libraries of every major city on earth.”
Not at my library. Even before they can strum they’re first out-of-tune twang, we kapow ‘em with our standard issue Librarian “Shhh!” Baton! Dewey Decimal this ya damn hippie!
May 30th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Mk-Ultra is also the name of an exotic marijuana strain.
May 30th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
I want to know if they succeeded or came close to it, if yes I want to know how. There are quite a few people whose memories I would like to erase.
May 30th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
Jables
You have that right. I am old.
May 30th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
@Micheal
Doesn’t that make you roughly 68-70 years old?
May 30th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
Hey all,
Sorry about the links, this isn’t something we’ve tried before. Basically I’m doing weekly features now too, but still laying them out using the blog software. Somehow, piping it into the feature spot is screwing up the links, but I don’t have the access to fix it. We’ll keep that in mind next time. For the time being, however, here they are:
http://prernalal.com/banned%20books/1977%20Senate%20Hearing%20on%20MKULTRA.pdf
http://www.sanfranciscosentinel.com/?p=11209
http://michael-robinett.com/declass/c000.htm
The Time article was really great, and it was a very important and long-standing piece that’s been up for years. It going down the day this article goes up is somewhat suspicious. I don’t think they like our demographic very much…
Also, if you want more, just wiki Operation Midnight Climax, MK-Ultra, or Operation Paperclip. Good stuff there that I didn’t have room to touch on.
May 30th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Why does the lady in the #3 pic look like Michael Jackson?
May 30th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
http://www.cowboybooks.com.au/html/acidtrip1.html
im surprised you missed this little thing, its very interesting.
May 30th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
Hippies are noobs.
May 30th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Funny post.
Please fix your links.
May 30th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
I once worked for Naval Intelligence. It was 1965. I worked as an analyst under a full lieutenant. Toward the end of 1965 he got sent to work in San Francisco. When he came back he told me a story about experimenting on Johns in a brothel that he helped run. I could hardly believe this story.
Well, he had tried lsd on himself before he came back. He brought back a liquid supply of the stuff. He gave me a bottle about the size of a bottle of nose drops. He insisted that I try it. I thought he had gone a little over the edge the way he talked about this drug.
I put that bottle on the top of my tv set at home. One day a few weeks later my wife and I were cleaning up and I remembered that I had promised to try that stuff. I put a drop on an aspirin tablet. I continued working on our clean up work. I mostly expected nothing at all to happen. It was just a joke, right.
The joke was on me. When I showed up for work on Monday, he just looked at me and said, “You tried it didn’t you”.
We spent all day talking about the experience. The hell with finding buildings in Siberia.
You have to remember, that back then I had never heard of lsd. It was not in the news. I thought it was going to be like taking a valium.
May 30th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
They also conducted experiments in canada, paying psychiatrists to dose their patients without consent and seeing what happened. There was at least one incident where they dosed a person at an office party without his or her knowing it and he/she jumped out the window to their death.
Great article, as usual
May 30th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
WTF hippies are cool, they can get some nice weed
ok some of em dont wah enough buy hey, nice weed
May 30th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
Man, hippies rock. I’m just saying. They’re generally smart non-douche-bags.
May 30th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Who cares what the CIA did with LSD a major American company produced a good percentage of the shit nazi germany’s military used, American ‘economic hitmen’ provide charitous donations to developing countries and then attempt to get the ‘loan’ payed back such as they did with Panama (I think in order to get the canal done) effectively crippling them for whatever they want done, and finally the American Government gears necessary services towards a buisness model that profits from human suffering; insurance, medicine, etc.
May 30th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
almost shed a tear at the Snow Crash reference in the #3 pic, much props.
May 30th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
this author has obviously never tried lsd before…
May 30th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
White people always look god-awful ugly in dreads.
Their hair just isn’t meant to be that way.
May 30th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
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May 30th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Huh, And here I was thinking that MK-ULTRA was a Mortal Kombat game. Well you learn something new everyday, I guess. Now that i think about it there should have been a hippy in Mortal Kombat, not because it would have been practical but because I’ve always wanted to be able to impale a hippy again without getting arrested.
May 30th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
and er the beats WERE NOT in anyway hippies.
Remind me who killed himself in 69 because he realised hippies were bull shit? Kerouac himself, he hates Ginsberg for changing to the new scene and leaving the beat behinds. (Cassidy too)
Kesey was sneaking LSD out of Menlo park in the late 1950s and dosing out the Penny Lane comunity of beats, who in turn became hippies. Beats do not = hippie, not even close.
May 30th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
haha at least you give props to Kesey, not enough of todays “hippies” even know who he is
May 30th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
What a refreshingly unpredictable response there from VengeVega.
May 30th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Man two Alex Grey paintings?! He’s an awesome artist, and I have no doubt that some of his paintings were “influenced” in one way or another. But it doesn’t matter, as long as he keeps making art for Tool albums. Damn those guys rock.
May 30th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
The last sentence is the best sentence i have ever read in my entire life.
May 30th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
I think SsnakeBite needs to take a damn shower. Ya dirty hippy!
May 30th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
That “flesh of the devil” chick looks kinda like Michael Jackson, in a blond wig.
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May 30th, 2009 at 11:41 am
Kesey didn’t start the hippy movement. It was going on far earlier than that with the Beat Generation. Kerouac and Ginsberg and Burroughs are the ones who should get credit, as all the Beat Generation should, too.
May 30th, 2009 at 11:24 am
[...] Project MKULTRA - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Or, for a much more hilarious viewpoint: The CIA’s 5 Most Mind Blowing Experiments With LSD | Cracked.com And when they got bored with that, it was time for some ESP. CIA ESP | Mind & Brain | [...]
May 30th, 2009 at 11:16 am
As if I didn’t have enough reason to hate hippies, now I find out that the government is behind them. Goddamnit.
May 30th, 2009 at 11:10 am
For fuck’s sake, will people just get over the existence of Hippies?!
WAA WAA!! SOMEONE WITH A DIFFERENT LIFESTYLE! I’VE GOT TO TOLERATE SOMEONE WHO ISN’T LIKE ME! BOO HOO.
Jesus Christ stop soaking your pants and just get the fuck over the idea that not everyone is like you.
Sorry, had to vent. Great article anyway.
But the Hippie hate is fucking retarded.
May 30th, 2009 at 10:27 am
#3 on that poster…
Didn’t know Michael Jackson was down with LSD.
May 30th, 2009 at 10:19 am
and Irishladdie727 is an asshole…..
May 30th, 2009 at 10:16 am
man i hope that hippy doesn’t have sex with that hippy chick. Dirty stanky!!!
May 30th, 2009 at 9:58 am
he says orwellian because of his books such as animal farm and 1984.
May 30th, 2009 at 9:52 am
i have both of those 2 trippy pictures by Alex Grey as posters hanging in my room.
May 30th, 2009 at 9:47 am
I was gonna say something along the lines of “thanks for ruining LSD for me, Cracked” but then I realised I don’t care about the CIA, Nazis or hippies, so, let the Acid Flow!
May 30th, 2009 at 9:44 am
Why won’t the letters stop crawling off the page? Don’t laugh at me you smarmy bastards! ILL TAPE YOU TO THE SCREEN!
May 30th, 2009 at 9:32 am
Genius! This is your best yet Brockway!
May 30th, 2009 at 9:28 am
Nevermind, Ike was his nickname. my bad.
May 30th, 2009 at 9:28 am
Oh, and the article was hilarious. I forgot to say that in my douchy rant.
May 30th, 2009 at 9:25 am
totally agree, women in the poster looks like Michael Jackson, as in late 90s Michaels
May 30th, 2009 at 9:23 am
correction: the name is Lt. Ike Feldman not Ira Feldman
May 30th, 2009 at 9:21 am
“This is all starting to sound like the plot to an Orwellian science fiction movie isn’t it? Evil government forces using sexuality, drugs and mad science to erase the minds and personalities of innocent civilians–you throw some Nazis in there and you’ve got a Michael Bay movie on your hands.”
Just because I feel like being a douche today, that’s not Orwellian, that’s Huxleyan(?), as in Aldous Huxley, the other English intellectual who wrote a book about a dystopian future during the 50’s. He wrote Brave New World, which is basically about what you said, using free, government enforced sex and drugs to keep the populace distracted from their own humanity, whereas 1984, by Orwell, is about distracting people from their own humanity by monitoring them at all times and keeping them frightened as shit of the consequences of their every action, which is very different. Sorry Brockway, it’s just a pet peeve of mine when people call things “Orwellian” seemingly because they hear everyone else do it, as it’s not a blanket term for EVERY dystopian future scenario, just the very specific 1984 style ones.
Now that I’ve outed myself as kind of a pompous dick, I’ll share with you the fact that Aldous Huxley was also one of the first proponents of LSD, and the irony of him being an upper class English intellectual druggie earned him a spot on the Sgt. Pepper cover art. The more you know.
May 30th, 2009 at 9:20 am
wow, this is such “ooooh conspiracy!” article
May 30th, 2009 at 9:19 am
It should be noted, that MK-ULTRA was also the name of an amazing political hardcore band from Chicago. Featuring members of Charles Bronson, Los Crudos and Fourteen or Fight.
May 30th, 2009 at 8:57 am
That first picture is of a Russian POW being submerged in ice water. The Nazis were conducting experiments to determine how long it takes hypothermia to kill a Slav.
May 30th, 2009 at 8:53 am
@Zoring:
Maybe it’s two CIA officers DRESSED as Luftwaffe personnel trying to convince a car salesman from Illium that he’s actually a German fighter pilot who just crashed in the ocean.
May 30th, 2009 at 8:51 am
This was an awesome article but… WHY ARE ALL THE LINKS BROKEN?
The addresses are in there, but they are doubled up in some weird way, so you have to copy-paste and clean up the link before you can get to the page.
I, like Cracked, am pretty forgiving… but lately there have been a lot more spelling errors and weird issues like this one in the articles. Ultimately I don’t care that much, but it DOES get noticed, just so you know.
May 30th, 2009 at 8:50 am
Ever been to Eugene, OR? It’s sort of famous for still having hippies. Actually, the local economy is based on hippies. Kesey lived in this valley–I think the bus might even be around here somewhere. This is your one-stop shop for face painting and foot massage.
There was a memorial to one of Kesey’s sons on top of Mount Pisgah just outside of town, until one day when some crazy Christian HIGH AS A KITE ON GOD climbed the mountain and destroyed it because the bible told him to. Now that’s some crazy shit.
May 30th, 2009 at 8:42 am
“Ha ha! Cha cha! Na na! Givin’ you psychoses, Big Willy style!”
I loled
May 30th, 2009 at 8:39 am
That last line honestly sounds like a mad lib
May 30th, 2009 at 8:38 am
So, in summation: The CIA, with a little help from the Nazis, accidentally helped invent hippies while they were trying to figure out how to brainwash communists.
Pour that on your granola and eat it, you zombie pinko bastards!
Brilliant
May 30th, 2009 at 8:22 am
MK Ultra seems to pop up a lot on the Cracked site. I think it’s one of the writer’s minor obsessions like Nikola Tesla.
May 30th, 2009 at 8:20 am
[...] Posted in: Featured New feature article up at Cracked, (hopefully the first of many,) regarding the long and storied CIA tradition of trippin’ balls and bangin’ hos. This article finally tells you exactly who to blame for hippies, and the answer may surprise you! [...]
May 30th, 2009 at 8:20 am
What? No mention of Oswald being a MK-ULTRA test subject?
May 30th, 2009 at 8:19 am
Well then who invented the fheg in the black shorts (skirt) behind the hippy couple?
May 30th, 2009 at 8:17 am
Hahaha. I loved the Pennywise pic. I hated that motherfucker growing up.
Oh, Zoring, that pic looks like one of their pilot recovery tests. The nazis figured out that you shouldn’t pull a person out of very cold water vertically, because they can have strokes and heart attacks from the strain. That’s why the Coast Guard has those baskets for rescue.
May 30th, 2009 at 7:57 am
Does anyone else think the picture at #3 looks like Michael Jackson?
May 30th, 2009 at 7:48 am
The CIA helped create hippies… That is so not dongtacular!
May 30th, 2009 at 7:43 am
thank you… this explains the vw bus
May 30th, 2009 at 7:38 am
In the first picture there i’m pretty certain there is nothing devious going. Those guys are Luftwaffe personell, they seem to be doing some monitering or testing of someone in full flight kit there. Including a life jacket.
May 30th, 2009 at 7:20 am
@mournblade. I thought the exact same thing. We are totally dongtacular soulmates
May 30th, 2009 at 7:11 am
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May 30th, 2009 at 6:59 am
this is Michael Jackson:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/poster1.jpg
May 30th, 2009 at 6:42 am
For the record, because most of these links are broken (and most people don’t even bother looking at them anyway), these have most of the things Cracked was trying to link to:
http://michael-robinett.com/declass/c000.htm
May 30th, 2009 at 6:37 am
Wow, it’s like “A Scanner Darkly,” on acid… cool article. Hippies are like the rebellious teenage progeny of a war-mongering state. Sounds about right. Oh shit! I’m wearing Birkenstocks and I work behind the razor-wire fence… aaaaaaaah!
May 30th, 2009 at 6:37 am
@Darclipto:
I’m sorry. I ctrl-f’ed “vaccination” and “autism” just to be sure, but I can’t find those outside of your comment. Could you explain a bit? I’m curious.
May 30th, 2009 at 6:15 am
…So the hippies that were trying to get me to ‘break free of the government’s mind control, man’ were at one point part of it?
Wow. Maybe they had a point.
May 30th, 2009 at 6:12 am
I find it funny that one week someone on this site is bashing people for believing that vaccinations cause autism, then later on this article pops up like a big FUCK YOU right in his face.
May 30th, 2009 at 5:22 am
“The CIA, with a little help from the Nazis, accidentally helped invent hippies while they were trying to figure out how to brainwash communists.”
I fucking knew it!
May 30th, 2009 at 5:13 am
“Author Ken Kesey, widely credited with kickstarting the entire hippy movement in the early ’60s, was himself a subject of MK-ULTRA’s experiments…”
Please tell me you’re joking.
Oh, god you are not. You are not joking at all.
Christ, this is so good that it’s almost suspicious.
May 30th, 2009 at 4:59 am
I had to come find this damn thing from the original link on the front page.
…now I am all sweaty and out of breath. Jeezus christ people…
Don’t make me press anything that isn’t already on my goddamn mouse.
…ah crap
May 30th, 2009 at 4:54 am
Yeah MK-ULTRA was some pretty full on stuff. It always puzzeled me why people had conspiracy theories when there was actual stuff like MK-ULTRA and Unit 731 going on.
May 30th, 2009 at 4:47 am
The CIA is seriously dongtacular.
May 30th, 2009 at 4:44 am
Brockway: great piece.
May 30th, 2009 at 4:32 am
USA!USA!USA! I’M PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN, WHERE AT LEAST I KNOW THE GOVERNMENT WILL DO ANYTHING IT DAMN WELL PLEASES TO ME!!!! hey wait, I don’t that’s how the song goes…
May 30th, 2009 at 4:31 am
Someone needs to secure the film rights to those guys’ story, because it may be the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.
May 30th, 2009 at 4:27 am
Is it just me, or does that chick in the movie poster look just like Michael Jackson wearing a blonde wig?
May 30th, 2009 at 4:25 am
*puts on a Sean Connery accent* The scoundrels!
May 30th, 2009 at 4:18 am
Cunts! Fucking cock sucking wank stains!
May 30th, 2009 at 4:12 am
lol first