Asteroid Again? Tether It!
If we don't like the "throw it at the Russians" asteroid plan (and why wouldn't we?), aerospace engineer David French says he has one of his own: Simply tether a gigantic counterbalance to the celestial bullet using a 500-50000-mile long rope. It should effectively change its course and together with the weight transform the space stone into a monstrous pair of intergalactic cajones.
Admittedly, we don't really understand the mechanics of getting more than twice the Earth's girth worth of rope and (we assume) a giant iron ball into space--much less to lasso an asteroid cruising at 30,000 miles-per-hour--but actual experts seem to seriously be considering this approach. That's why French's tether ball proposal was reviewed and accepted for presentation at the American Institute of Aeronautics and Astronautics SPACE 2009 Conference and Exposition in Pasadena, CA--and you know they don't just let any asshole speak there.
Besides, if the plan fails and French's project results in not one, but two projectiles slicing the Earth in half with their massive tripwire, what are we going to do? Fire him?
It's not like it's the only one we've got.
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