12

Grrrl

n. A young woman regarded as independent and strong or aggressive, especially in her attitude to men or in her sexuality.

Now, remind us, is "grrrl" a word used by "grrrl" types, or the people who make fun of them? You know what, it doesn't matter, because, there's no vowel.

What the fuck is that? Call us tools of the male chauvinist patriarchy, but even the wacky sound effects from the 60s Batman TV show had vowels in them. That's right, this is less of a word than ZWWAP!

11

Threequel

n. The third film, book, event, etc. in a series; a second sequel.

Hey, thanks Hollywood, for making enough of these that we had to invent a whole new word. So will fourquel be next? Quadrology? Will we all be buying the Star Wars sixantium box set?

10

Mini-me

n. A person closely resembling a smaller or younger version of another.

Hey, remember when you thought we couldn't get any lower than "muggle"? Those were the days, right?

Nothing puts a society as firmly in its place as when you realize the language has been permanently changed by a franchise about a horny spy that repeated the same jokes and catchphrases dozens of times across two sequels. Is this one from the same movie where Mike Myers drank the cup full of shit? We don't remember.

9

Screenager

n. A person in their teens or twenties who has an aptitude for computers and the Internet.

8

Cyberslacking

v. Spending one's employer's Internet and email facilities for personal activities during working hours.

Remember the dot-com bubble of the late 90s, when the Internet was new and exciting and every novelty erotica site you found was like Christmas morning, only with fisting? Cyberslacking is the word-product of that. In retrospect, using the Internet to kill time at work wasn't the Tron-like revolutionary experience this word implies, so regular "slacking" would suffice just as well.

Then again, we might as well have the word now, as this dongtacular practice isn't going away any time soon.

7

Lookism

n. Prejudice or discrimination on the grounds of appearance.

Sometimes when attractive people get a raise or ugly people have to eat out of a trough in the cafeteria, the people on the wrong side of that scenario are tempted to equate it to generations of violence, oppression and bigotry experienced by any number of people who actually know what discrimination is.

So just stick "-ism" on the end and there you go.

6

Frankenfood

n.Derogatory a food that contains genetically modified ingredients.

Really, it's looking like a memorable pun is all that's required for a word to be embraced by society as a whole. So even if you have something that has saved millions of lives like, say, genetically modified crops, if you can think of a kick ass and mildly amusing way to dumb it down and liken it to a shambling, murderous corpse-man, congratulations. You're making language!

5

Riffage

4

Bouncebackability

n. The ability to recover from near-defeat in a competition; the ability to recover from a setback.

While resilience is already a perfectly good word that means the exact same thing, bouncebackability does sound much more like something a semi-literate alcoholic might put on a resume, giving it that added appeal of mouthbreathability words like resilience lack.

3

Prebuttal

n. A rebuttal for an accusation before it is made.

The sad part about this one is that it only sounds completely insane until you realize it's mostly done by politicians, after which it sort of makes perfect sense. They know they're full of shit, but hope this somehow can preemptively stop anybody from pointing it out.

"Now, you're all going to accuse me of being a racist here, but let me explain why I think minorities shouldn't be allowed to drive..."

2

Ego-surfing

v. Searching the Internet for instances of one's own name or links to one's own website.

Googling yourself is like masturbation: everyone does it, but it's still embarrassing to get caught. Getting caught and then referring to what you're doing as ego-surfing is like trying to explain to the bus driver that you're simply looking for your bus pass which, when you last saw it, was drifting somewhere around your foreskin, instead of just pulling up your pants and walking home.

1

Meatspace

n. The physical world, as opposed to virtual.

Doubtlessly coined by a level 80 Druid tank somewhere in the World of Warcraft, it's a sad day for the species when what you may recognize as that in which everything exists, needs a special term to differentiate it from the "real" world of Facebook friends and LOLcats.

Soon you'll hear it used in sentences like, "So all of the crops are dying and the air is turning poisonous? Bah, who cares about all that stuff that happens in lame old Meatspace."

For more some words you'll wish you had looked up, check out 9 Words That Don't Mean What You Think.

And visit Cracked.com's Top Picks because, well shit, you don't have anything better to do.