7 Badass Cartoon Villains Who Lost to Lame Heroes

7

Dr. Claw

Dr. George Claw is the head of M.A.D., a criminal organization whose main purpose is committing crime and wreaking pointless havoc. Take notice that they don't mention profit or power as a main goal; those are only unexpected bonuses.

M.A.D. 1: You know, we could have looted some stuff before burning down that warehouse.
M.A.D. 2: Why?

There was one time when Claw teamed up with his Japanese counterpart, Waruda, to steal all the jewelery in the world. Yeah, you read it right. All the jewelry. From the Queen of England's crown to the ring in your great grandma's icy death fingers. Why? Presumably, for the hell of it.

They also had their logo stamped on everything. You might think it's a weird move for a criminal syndicate, but, you know, you can't underestimate the value of brand management.

Who Was He Constantly Losing To?

Inspector Gadget.

The whole "spawning any weapon from his hat" man machine thing sounds like he'd be a powerful hero, but then you realize he's less "combination of man and machine" and more "combination of machine and pure incompetent asshole."

Gadget is constantly being outwitted by his own dog and his 10 or 11-year-old niece. They were the ones who always ruined Dr. Claw's schemes, often by replacing the objects he tried to steal with worthless replicas. It's worth noting that Penny apparently had the same neurological condition as the guy in Memento as she needed to write down everything she was thinking in her 128kb laptop.

Really, Dr. Claw?

6

No Heart

Well first of all, he is an evil wizard, and we're assuming the name isn't referring to a medical condition. He lives in a dark castle surrounded with dark clouds, where we suppose he performs some dark rituals of dark wizardry.

Look at that bastard. Dark robes, a cloak that hides his face in shadows, it's deformed features a mystery other than a pair of glowing, evil red eyes. He also has shadow minions, who may be more fucked up than he is. Whenever children are having good feelings, they just literally suck the feeling out of the children, injecting a creepy pedo-vibe that you don't usually get in Saturday morning cartoons.

Also, he is a shapeshifter, so he could just go and shapeshift into some world's leader and start World War III. We tried to find out what power would be more convenient for world domination and we only came out with a gun that had infinite ammo and also great boobs. Then again, he could shapeshift into an even bigger gun with even bigger boobs. Damn you, No Heart!

Who Was He Constantly Losing To?

5

Gargamel

An evil wizard with a degree. He lives in a forest in the middle of nowhere in a run-down hovel, so we're not sure how much good it's doing him.

In his early appearances in the cartoons he wanted to capture Smurfs in order to make gold. Later, he decided he wanted to eat them instead. Finally, he got tired of making excuses and admitted he just wanted to slaughter Smurfs because murder is awesome. That's why he named his cat Azrael, which is a name for the angel of death.

In addition to being an alchemist, he has the godlike ability to create life, and once created Sassette, a female smurf. If he can make his own smurfs, why does he continue to hunt the free ones? Because he's fucking Gargamel, that's why!

Who Was He Constantly Losing To?

Tiny (just "three apples tall") peace-loving communists that survive on Smurf berries and very limited skills.

4

Duke Sigmund Igthorn

The Duke was once a fierce knight loyal to the crown of King Gregor, ruler of Dunwyn. If you know anything about the Middle Ages, you know what kind of shit this guy's got on his resume: Burning down enemy villages while little babies and peasant girls cried for mercy, collecting skulls for the castle's towers, going to war and coming back bathed in enemy's internal organs while bleeding horribly from his own gruesome wounds.

After forging his personality in the fires of cruel knighthood, Sir Igthorn became a duke and began a quest to take over the entire kingdom of Dunwyn. What he lacks in arcane knowledge or demonic blood paths, he compensates with badassery. Also, Igthorn commands a legion of bloodthirsty orcs. We don't know if you've watched enough Lord of the Rings to know this, but you don't win the loyalty of orcs with kind words. Igthorn, no doubt, killed half of them and tortured the rest until they swore loyalty with bitter orc tears in their eyes.

Who Was He Constantly Losing To?

3

Quellor, the Supreme Oppressor of the Monsters and Villains Organization (M.A.V.O.)

Imagine a place so vile that someone finds it necessary to form an organization of monsters and villains, just to get things working a little above pandemonium level. Now imagine what kind of badass it would take to rule this group. That's Quellor, the "Supreme Oppressor".

Quellor takes control of M.A.V.O. with an iron fist, surely in more ways we would like to imagine an iron fist can rule. No matter how odd, stupid, strange or outlandish his orders may be, they are obeyed without delay by each member of M.A.V.O. They know it's that, or a session with Quellor's iron fist.

2

Professor Norton Nimnul

Professor Norton Nimnul is a talented mad scientist, however he is not the head of his criminal operations, as he works for Mr. Klordane the Crime Lord. In that capacity, the man has built laser cannons, a shrinking/enlarging gun (he once stole a whole motherfucking museum with it by shrieking it to pocket-size), an aging gun, a cat gun and who knows what else. Shit on the guy, he'll make a gun out of it.

Oh, and once he made an earthquake bomb out of nothing but fruit.

1

Tirek

Mythology makes it pretty clear: Nothing good can come out a half-goat creature.

Tirek, a gigantic half-goat/half-horse/half-man and 150 percent motherfucking hellspawn, lives in his Midnight Castle. Scorpan, his Yeti-with-wings minion, executes his evil commands, which oddly mostly consists of kidnapping ponies.

Tirek's plan involves using a powerful black magic, called The Power of Darkness, to turn said ponies into dragon slaves so they'll pull his "Chariot of Darkness" and perhaps some other appliance of darkness that requires dragon energy to work properly.