Modern historians blame ergotism for a slew of old-timey panics and superstitions, ranging from werewolves to the Salem Witch Trials. British author John Grigsby even speculates that the legend of Beowulf came from stoned Vikings who "inhaled the holy fire."
Nutmeg, that piquant brown spice you sprinkle on egg nog, is chock full o' the organic compound myristicin. Eating four to eight teaspoons of ground nutmeg causes mild hallucinations, warmth in the limbs ...
... dizziness, nausea, cottonmouth, paranoia, difficulty urinating and, the coup de grace, a hangover that feels like God taking a dump on your soul.
Some users compare the nutmeg "high" to a hellish case of the flu. To make things worse, nutmeg consumption is easily the most inconvenient way to get high--its effects kick in five to six hours after ingestion. That's like having to drink a six-pack at lunch in anticipation of happy hour.
For those of you who who want to push your luck with nutmeg, don't worry. The FDA reportedly has no plans to raid your spice rack. Probably because they're assuming nobody is dumb enough to give it a go. Once you've crossed a certain threshold of stupidity where do you stop? You're going to have to start cracking down on spinning around in circles really fast and smelling your own burrito farts.