But for fucks sake, a million dollars? We're talking about a woman who spends the majority of her working hours being filmed from the waist up while promising to tell you all about the shocking backstage details you didn't see on the American Idol finale. Aren't the killer legs sort of a nice-to-have?
Mary Hart's legs may be absolutely phenomenal, but it's not like getting her stems mangled in a freak farming accident would prevent her from talking about K-Fed. Even if she lost both of her legs, you could still prop her up on a dessert cart and roll her out in front of the camera for a few minutes a night. Who wouldn't want to watch that?
What she should have gotten:
If The New England Journal of Medicine is to be believed, and it usually is, Mary Hart may want to look into some liability insurance. In 1991, a woman claimed that she got epileptic seizures after hearing Mary Hart's voice on an episode of Entertainment Tonight. That's the kind of thing men have joked about at the expense of countless women for centuries, but this time it actually happened.
When doctors later conducted laboratory tests, they confirmed that the sound of Mary Hart's voice set off abnormal electrical discharges in the woman's brain which led to the seizures. When she stopped watching Entertainment Tonight, the seizures never returned. Luckily for Mary Hart, the woman never filed suit, opting instead to live a life devoid of up-to-the-minute news about entertainment's biggest stars. But if someone else comes down with the Hart Shakes, Mary may not be so lucky next time. Time to consider an "I send people into convulsions" addendum to that stupid legs policy.
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