"You're so vain, I bet you think this song is about you."
The thing that sucks the most about this song is that no matter who you are, if you've ever fucked Carly Simon, even once in college, you're going to at least for a moment entertain the possibility that the song is about you, and you're going to get called vain every single time. It's a Chinese finger trap of a mind f**k--the more you fight it, the tighter you're trapped.
The laundry list of celebrities that "You're So Vain" was supposedly written about is pretty much as long and shocking as Simon's hair in the below performance, which appears to have been combed with a Tesla coil.
At one time or another, the song has been rumored to be about Mick Jagger (doubtful considering he sang backing vocals), James Taylor (they were married at the time of recording--Carly has said "It is definitely not about James"), Warren Beatty (No official denial and Carly said in The Washington Post, "It certainly sounds like it was about Warren Beatty ..."), Kris Kristofferson and Cat Stevens.
When asked to reveal the target's identity by VH1 in 1990 she said that she "... can never give it away," a questionable statement since she seems to have fucked everyone who picked up a string instrument and grew his hair longer than shoulder length in the 1970s.
Bitterness level: 3.5
Confusing the hell out of a guy, though relatively easy, is just not very nice. It's also a sort of indiscriminate drive-by insult, firing the accusation wildly into a large crowd of males who worked in the entertainment industry in the '70s. They can't all deserve it. Also, wouldn't the most vain be the ones who assume the song isn't about them?