The idea that anyone would fall madly in love with Mary Worth is already fairly funny, but the best part is when Mary and friends go on to stage an intervention.
The perfectly synchronized chorus of "YOU'D BETTER NOT!" must have been terrifying for Aldo. The result?
The next day, Mary Worth moves cheerfully along in one smooth segue of a strip:
Mary's thoughts have clearly moved on to her next victim, Dr. Jeff Cory. Will Mary Worth and Co. doom him to actual death as with Aldo, or just a sort of tortured living death, as is usual with their victims? We'll let you find out by reading the strip.
Exciting action-packed adventures of a tough, square-jawed detective.
Outstandingly sub-par artwork and hilariously gruesome deaths.
When we bring up the venerable Dick Tracy strip, your first thought is probably, "They're still printing that? Like new ones?"
But, if you were to actually read the strip day to day, your thoughts would probably shift to wondering if maybe our American ideal of encouraging people to do whatever they love, and refrain from criticizing those who follow an impossible dream, has gone a bit too far. Maybe mentally handicapped people shouldn't be airline pilots. Maybe fat people shouldn't be supermodels. Maybe it's about time for the artist who draws Dick Tracy to try and find something else he likes.
Take a minute and try to get your lip to bend that way.
Now, here's Dick Tracy going toe-to-toe with what is supposed to be a woman dressed up as a queen from a playing card. Leaving aside the impossibilities of the hair and whether it's supposed to be a two-dimensional prop or not, what we have is a man-faced creature with prominent breasts, which, unless we've completely misunderstood the premise of Dick Tracy, cannot possibly be the character the writer envisioned.
And sometimes, in between panels, the artist seems to forget what style he's drawing in. Here, he begins in his normally consistent, if badly-drawn, square-jawed, angular, noir-like style, and suddenly shifts to what appears to be the Garfield universe.
Meanwhile, Dick Tracy does indeed provide the action it promises, often in the form of hilariously creative deaths and/or comeuppances for villains, whether it be falling into a smokestack ...
... having their brains fried by their own mind-control machines (which Dick Tracy and friend deliberately hooked this fellow up to) ...
... plummeting from the Capitol Dome and then teleporting through an American flag milliseconds before hitting the ground ...
... or snapping in half from their injuries over the back of an exasperated-looking horse.
Dick Tracy also contributes to expanding the English language by introducing what are most likely computer-generated, sound-effect words that no reasonable person could possibly have invented.
As to why Dick Tracy is being hit over the head by 5 million dollars in the second panel, you will just have to read the strip and let this delightful adventure unfold for you in its own time.
Special thanks to The Comics Curmudgeon for tracking down these strips. You could say he's kind of an expert.