YouTube's 7 Scariest Teachers

YouTube's 7 Scariest Teachers

High school is a bad idea. You've got a bunch of moody idiots packed into tiny class-rooms with freaked-out teachers who resent the kids for being so young and full of promise. Something's gonna go wrong and according to YouTube, that something is the teacher going nuts.

Here are clips of some truly remarkable classroom breakdowns ranging from furious rants to physical violence.

Mr. Dial-a-Douche

Angry Quote: "Can I see that for a minute?"

Is His Anger Justified?
Sure, in Red China. But here in America, you have the right to answer your cellphone wherever and whenever you want. What is this, communist China? We'll tell you who'd pull this kind of crap: the Chinese (specifically the socialist ones).

Even if the teacher's anger was justified, the main problem is that he looks like a total douche while breaking the phone. If he'd snapped it in two with his bare hands, or smashed it with a giant mallet Gallagher-style, we'd be behind him. Instead, he angrily tosses it at the floor, then does the thing where he casually pretends he didn't do it. Sure, the "do-something-malicious-then-walk-away-casually" move works well if you're a supervillian who just shot an incompetent henchman. But when you're a geeky asshole who just chucked some kid's KRZR, you just look like a petulant child.

Mr. Hand's Angrometer:

Mr. No Whistling While You Work

Angry Quote: "So when I tell you to stop talking... that means stop whistling and stop acting like an idiot!"

Is His Anger Justified?
The teacher says, "You're in grade 10, act like you're in grade 10," which is pretty bad advice since that's exactly what these kids are doing. It seems like the teacher is legitimately disappointed with his class' behavior, but shouldn't he be used to this by now? No offense doctor, but you don't look like you just started teaching last week. Learn to be more authoritative and maybe these kids will respect you.

What do we mean by more authoritative? Well, for instance, when you notice you're being recorded, take away the phone and erase the clip. Don't wave "hello" like a 12-year-old kid walking through the background of a local news standup. Now over 100,000 people, including every student you will ever teach for the rest of your life, has seen you act like a total pussy just because you got stage fright when someone pointed a camera at you.

Mr. Hand's Angrometer:

Mrs. Do What She Says!

Angry Quote: "Write the five page paper or you're gonna fail this class, JACK!"

Is Her Anger Justified?
The wise-ass kid who can talk his way out of everything really only exists on Saved by the Bell. In real life, those kids end up getting hockey checked by a 50-year-old woman in front of the entire class.

This teacher sure does yell a lot, but then again, wouldn't you yell at a kid who refused to write a five-page paper? These kids probably average thirty pages of text messages a day. So, was it really worth it for the kid to spend all that energy to get out of writing the assignment? We agree with this teacher: just write the paper Zack Morris. It'll waste a lot less energy than whatever stalling tactic you're trying to employ here.

Also, unless this kid's name is actually Jack, her use of '70s slang is entirely unjustified.

Mr. Hand's Angrometer:

Mr. Talks Funny

Angry Quote: "Change your behavior!"

Is His Anger Justified?
We'd be angry too, if we had ridiculous accents! Isn't that right, racist classroom? Oh, man. He's like Apu from The Simpsons. You know Apu, right? He runs the Kwik-E-Mart. He says, "Thank you, come again." Ha ha ha. That's totally like your teacher!

The teacher is in a sad catch 22 because the angrier he gets, the more pronounced his accent becomes, the harder the class laughs, the angrier he gets. The only thing sadder is that he was probably a nuclear physicist in his home country.

Mr. Hand's Angrometer:

Mr. Pledge of A-Fuckin-llegiance


Is His Anger Justified?
Our read on these kids is that they're dicks (witness the lame "boogie-woogie-woo" to the camera) and that they're trying to set Mr. Mantel up for a hilarious freak-out. That being said, Bugs Bunny is also kind of a dick, and that doesn't justify Yosemite Sam's anger or make it any less hilarious.

Mr. Mantel clearly should not be teaching at a public school, especially in what appears to be a shop class, where he's surrounded all day by the temptation of deadly power tools. Sure, he loses it in a sort of benign, goofy, drunk-uncle-screaming-about-how-you-should-respect-him type of way. But, there seems to be a quiet rage simmering under the surface here. For an idea of just how ugly such rage can be when it erupts, well, stay tuned for the next entries.

Mr. Hand's Angrometer:

Mr. We're Not Gonna Make A Terrorism Joke, But We're All Thinking It

Angry Quote: The video is in Farsi, but we imagine something along the lines of, "PREPARE TO BE HIT IN THE FACE!"

Is His Anger Justified?
Look, we'll be honest: we don't know what's going on in this video. We do know that the recording of it was about the bravest piece of photo journalism we've ever seen in our lives. Also, it would appear that whomever filmed this is no longer on this earth, as can be gathered from the furious look on the professor's face when he sees the camera followed by the camera cutting off. It's like a Middle Eastern version of The Blair Witch Project.

The flip out itself is nice and sustained. Almost Lou Pinella esque. There's a half slap at the beginning followed by a lot of yelling and close finger pointing followed by a vicious full slap. The teacher then takes a walk around the front of the class to cool out a bit, before realizing he's being filmed. Let's just say based on his demeanor up to that point, we're guessing he didn't wave to the camera.

Mr. Hand's Angrometer:

Mr. Holy Shit This Guy Totally Loses It

Angry Quote: We don't speak French, so we we're going to go with a quote from the Tom Berrenger movie The Substitute which we're pretty certain this guy used to open every class: "I'm in charge of this classroom. I'm the warrior chief, the merciless god who stirs anything in its path. You fuck with me, and you will suffer my wrath."

Is His Anger Justified?
Well, on the one hand that kid did throw what appeared to be a spit ball at his back. So, you know, that wasn't cool. The class had to be expecting some sort of retaliation. Were they expecting him to fly into a woman-punching, child-abusing, hilariously-uncoordinated-failed-jump-kicking rage? Probably not.

We're guessing that the teacher didn't know he was going to do all that until he was standing in a room full of splayed out kids with blood on his knuckles. But, you know, each teacher has their own brand of discipline. Plus, once you start in on a good homicidal punching spree, you don't want to waste it.

We do have to disagree with his choice of wardrobe. Maybe if he would have worn something a little more professional than a striped sweater with track pants, his students would have respected his authority a little more and he wouldn't have had to try to kill them all. That, or learn to land the flying spin kick. Either way, really.

Mr. Hand's Angrometer:

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