The Coke Polar Bear Has Had Enough
Now that I am famous, people and seagulls never leave me alone, even when I am eating. I fucking hate that.
You people just make me sick this whole holiday season. Just because there’s such a thing as Santa Claus doesn’t mean that all old men with shaggy white beards are going to bring you presents if you sit on their lap. The only present an actual old man that enjoys being a chair for young children will give you is called sodomy.And I'll explode if I hear one more time “Hey man, could you sign my Coke bottle?” I lack opposable thumbs dipshit.
A herd of penguins. You humans see a bunch of bundles of cuteness. I see a buffet.
Yeah I get it, the white fur, it makes me look strange and pristine and you Americans love when shit is white. IPods, iMacs…but guess what? This fur is not a fashion choice. It is not there to make me look slick, as