Standing next to German cars that aren't yours, having fake cell phone conversations about the strength of your nonexistent portfolio, and carrying around a tennis racket you have no intention of ever using on a court.What Your Drink Says
"Ah, yes. Gore Vidal. The Masters. Mercedes-Benz. Ha, ha! What' that, old chap? How dare you accuse me of stringing together random words associated with the upper class? I went to Yale School, you rapscallion!"
You may be employed at Applebee', but you also enjoy hanging out there with your other single, high school-educated friends in their mid-30s after your shift' over.
"I don't actually like drinking, I just like the idea of drinking. Similar, in other words, to my feelings for that new guy I'm blowing."
Buying important-looking books at Barnes & Noble, placing them on your bookshelf, never reading them.What Your Drink Says
"Not only do I think I'm better than you and therefore too good to drink anything other than this '98 Pinot at a crowded sports bar, but I would also prefer it if you and your $20 shirt would quietly eat your Jalapeno Poppers and return to the middle-class suburb from whence you came."
Attending outdoor summer concerts of ass-awful, washed-up bands like Van Halen and REO Speedwagon. Also, you wear jean shorts there.What Your Drink Says
"I don't have any issues with drinking during the day or experimenting with anal sex."
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