Bill Maher Roasted For Claiming That His Stand-Up Act Puts Him In Political Danger

Bill Maher might have an inflated view of his place in the hierarchy of political hit lists. In 2023, he was convinced that Donald Trump would strike if he were elected president again. “I thought I could wind up in Guantánamo Bay,” Maher whined. “I think I still could.” (Instead, Trump invited the comic and Kid Rock to dinner last March, which sounds like a worse fate than time in the detention camp.)

Maher’s paranoia is getting worse. He told Patton Oswalt on Club Random this week the reason he’s given up touring as a comic. “I don't want to be out there in this country, in this political atmosphere,” he confessed. “I could get shot by the left or the right. It's a good time to not be out there.”

Is Maher requiring bulletproof vests in Club Random these days? It’s a safe bet that neither Maher nor his guests need them. Granted, you never know who an unhinged lunatic could zero in on, but political activists on both sides of the aisle are likely saving their vitriol for more relevant targets than the nearly 70-year-old comedian. 

Twitter/X users wasted no time blasting Maher’s hyperbolic comments.  “These old white men love pretending they’re starring in some political Hunger Games when the truth is nobody is thinking about them long enough to aim a Nerf gun,” said @FrankC164. 

“I mean, he could get shot,” wrote @TheHoustonWade, “but he usually dies on stage anyway because no one is laughing.”

“Bill Maher has a VERY overinflated sense of how many people give a fuck about him,” wrote @BurnerBuddha. 

Fear aside, are there other reasons Maher might have retired from touring? Oh, maybe a couple. He’s “tired of the travel, obviously,” he told Oswalt. 

But the most telling explanation? “I just got tired of being twice as funny as people who were selling twice as many tickets as me,” he complained. “Not that I didn't sell a lot of tickets. I do great theaters, but I didn't sell arenas.”

Who are the arena comics who are half as funny as Bill Maher? He doesn’t say, of course, but at least he’s self-aware enough to admit the obvious. “When the audience is 35 to 45, they don't want to see somebody 70.”

The good news in Maher’s quasi-retirement from the road, other than that Bill Maher isn’t on the road? It doesn’t give him a chance to film another HBO comedy special and break George Carlin’s record. 

“I just did my 13th HBO special. I feel like that's a good body of work,” he said. “I feel like the last one was the best one, which is a good way to get off.”

Cross your fingers that Maher is too busy dining with Trump to change his mind.