Jesus Accuses Republicans of Using the Bible to Bully People on ‘South Park’

If you ever had to sit through Wednesday or Sunday bible studies in your childhood, you’d know that the American interpretation of the teachings of Jesus Christ is pretty horseshit. This isn’t a new concept — the vastness and cruelty of American Christianity’s widespread hypocrisy has been the subject of ample television, movies, books, poems, podcasts, news stories and movies about news stories. (Love you, Spotlight.)

So, South Park wasn’t really treading new ground for Season 27’s “Twisted Christian.” The B-plot of the show centers around Jesus Christ being confronted with the MAGA-era Republican Christian. These loud and proud Christians are everything that Jesus Christ is not: They boast big cross chains around their necks, they say the F-slur and pussy, the women alter their bodies to perfectly fit into the bimbastic image of a pornographic ideal, they believe in hateful conspiracy theories and they’re just generally assholes. None of that “Golden Rule” crap. 

Throughout Episode Six, newly converted ultra “Christian” Principal Peter Charles tries to get Jesus on board with his interpretation of the religion, to Jesus’ ample resistance. At one point, Guidance Counselor Jesus goes to PC Principal, worried that he doesn’t really “fit in” at South Park Elementary following a school talk on the Antichrist from tech billionaire Peter Thiel. 

“Could I ask exactly what branch of Christianity are you?” Jesus asks PC. 

“The kind that loves his country and doesn’t tolerate any fucking f****,” PC replies. 

PC Principal later convinces Jesus to go on a double date with his wife’s friend Peggy Rockbottom, who is clearly suffering from MAGA-face and a painful looking breast enhancement. 

Rockbottom is transphobic and listens to tons of podcasts but has never read the bible. Meeting her nearly breaks Jesus. As PC Principal continues to ramp up his fascist practices (with the help of a scary Thiel), Jesus continues to express his discomfort. 

“I just don’t feel good about treating people this way,” Jesus says to PC at one point. “I think the most important thing still has to be loving and respecting each other.”

PC accuses Jesus of being a gay. “I just don’t think you understand what Christians today are about,” PC says before taking Jesus on yet another date with Peggy Rockbottom at The Cheesecake Factory. This date leads Jesus to his breaking point and a confrontation with PC. 

“Look I don’t know what you think Christianity is, but it has nothing to do with that,” Jesus says to PC, when he again accuses Christ of “acting gay.” “You and a lot of other people seem to have a very warped sense of what Christianity is.”

PC then takes off his shirt and tries to fight Jesus. But JC just lays into PC. “You need a way to bully people, and you’re using the bible to do it.”

We think this is the end of “Twisted Christian,” with Jesus refusing to fight PC and hanging on to his integrity even at the cost of social exclusion and threats of violence. But this is 2025, baby! Nobody’s got a spine — not even our lord and savior. To the soundtrack of “Sister Christian,” Jesus comes back for Peggy Rockbottom, converts his holy robes to a cut off tank top and embraces life on the dark side.