Tonight’s ‘South Park’ Ends on A Cliffhanger With Cartman Fighting for His Life

In tonight’s new episode of South Park, “Twisted Christian,” Eric Cartman fell under the influence of some demonic force, and he may only have 6-7 days to live.

This week, South Park fans learned that tonight’s episode is, inexplicably, the premiere of South Park Season 28, and this surprise new season started with a shocking twist — spoilers ahead, obviously, for any South Park fans who still haven’t seen “Twisted Christian.” Two episodes ago, South Park viewers learned that Satan is pregnant with President Donald Trump’s butt-baby, and, tonight, Palantir founder and billionaire Republican donor Peter Thiel revealed that he believes Trump and Satan’s child will be the Antichrist. 

But what Thiel couldn’t figure out — even after setting up Palantir surveillance cameras in the girl’s bathroom at South Park Elementary — was how the popular Generation Alpha meme “6-7” factored into the demonic plans for the human race. In “Twisted Christian,” Cartman finds the brainrot joke to be so funny that he uncontrollably vomits from laughter any time he hears the numbers together, and Thiel believes that Cartman’s affliction could have apocalyptic implications.

Toward the beginning of “Twisted Christian,” South Park subjected us to one of the most hilariously disgusting scenes of Seasons 27-28 as Cartman continuously baits his mom into saying “6 to 7” and laughs so hard he projectile vomits. As we learn from Liane, Cartman has been vomiting from laughter for the last 6 or 7 nights, and the finest doctors in South Park can’t figure out what's wrong with him.

Enter real-life Antichrist obsessive Peter Thiel, who, after stealing the personal data of all South Park Elementary students, installing surveillance cameras in every corner of the school and using A.I. to log all the children’s faces in his database, determines that Cartman is the key to deciphering the secrets of “6-7” and stopping the Antichrist. He appears at the Cartman household to offer his help in an homage to The Exorcist, but, after coming face-to-face with the corrupted Cartman, he decides that the only course of action is to take Cartman back to Washington, D.C.

Now, South Park fans have to endure a two-week wait to see what fate has in store for Cartman and his new caretaker. Cartman’s life is in the hands of a deranged megalomaniac who believes that he is the key to stopping the false prophet from plunging the world into darkness — but it wouldn’t be the first time Cartman unleashed an unholy world-destroyer on humanity over a few laughs.