Jimmy Fallon Is Still Completely Useless

Jimmy Kimmel was yanked off air on Wednesday night by the Trump administration, and the other Jimmy’s initial response is more lackluster than expected.

Kimmel was taken off air abruptly after the FCC threatened Disney and ABC following very mild comments he made about the murder of Charlie Kirk on Jimmy Kimmel Live! The move was shocking in its brazenness — and it was closely followed by more threats from the administration to remove Seth Meyers, Jimmy Fallon and other critics of the president from television. These threats included Trump directly naming Meyers and Fallon in a Truth Social post. 

None of this was reportedly rousing enough for Fallon to issue any sort of strong statement ahead of taping Thursday night’s The Tonight Show. Instead, Fallon stuck to the feckless, clueless performance he’s become known — and reviled — for. According to reports by LateNighter, Fallon opened with a monologue that included jokes about Kimmel’s predicament before saying: “To be honest with you all, I don’t know what’s going on — no one does. But I do know Jimmy Kimmel, and he is a decent, funny, and loving guy. And I hope he comes back.”

There have been more passionate statements issued about missing neighborhood dogs. Even off-air, Fallon didn’t seem to be committed to saying anything bold. In a Q&A with the audience, he reportedly said that he texted with Kimmel after the news came out on Wednesday. Fallon added that he loved Kimmel as well as Trump’s other late-night victim, Stephen Colbert. He told the audience: “We need to entertain, and we need people to be happy in this crazy world.” 

Powerful stuff. 

We didn’t get to this spinelessness overnight. It took decades of weakening resolve to deliver someone so irresolute. Fallon was incredibly good looking in the early aughts, granting him decades of fame that an equally talented but less attractive man wouldn’t have experienced. Despite no longer looking like the trim, boyish charmer from his days at Saturday Night Live, he still squawks nightly from his perch at The Tonight Show. With unbearable fake laughter and a willingness to bring on guests like Greg Gutfeld and Trump, Fallon has impressively produced years of virtually unwatchable late-night television that has no point-of-view. 

Despite offering vague platitudes in response to his peers' political silencing, his lukewarm monologues and largely risk-free approach to comedy hasn’t kept Fallon safe. Trump is still calling for Fallon to be removed from air. The Tonight Show’s ratings are perpetually struggling. There’s no benefit to Fallon neutrality. Still, as (increasingly plausible) threats are lobbed by the administration to silence Fallon, he’s showing his belly. 

Your meekness won’t save you Jimmy Fallon. It just makes you useless to the rest of us.