‘I’ve Finally Made It’ Says Trump’s Sniveling, Fat-Faced Henchman About Last Night’s ‘South Park’

The couch-humping creep whose own President visibly hates him believes that getting his own South Park parody is the highlight of his career, and we couldn’t agree more.

On last night’s new episode of South Park, “Got a Nut,” series creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone continued their parody of President Donald “Saddam Hussein” Trump that inspired a histrionic statement from the White House upon its first installment in the Season 27 premiere “Sermon on the ‘Mount.” After South Park portrayed Trump as a small-dicked Middle-Eastern dictator who abuses the justice system to solicit bribes and silence critics, Trump’s press corps called the series “fourth-rate” and claimed that the show “hasn’t been relevant for over 20 years.” 

Now, the rest of the Right from Charlie Kirk to Immigration and Customs Enforcement are trying to pretend that South Park is laughing with them, not at them and their fascist, pedophilic cabal.

“Got a Nut” unveiled South Park'’s highly anticipated parody of Vice President J.D. Vance, which showed the fat-faced meme version of Vance as the diminutive sidekick Tattoo from the classic TV drama Fantasy Island whom President Hussein despises so much that he plays “kick the baby” with his couch-fucking crony.

During the campaign trail leading up to the 2024 Presidential Election, then-Ohio Senator JD Vance’s distinct lack of charisma and dismal favorability numbers sparked rumors that Trump would dump Vance as his pick for Vice President and recruit someone with a less punchable face to be his running mate. Thankfully for Vance and for billionaire misanthrope Peter Thiel, who has nurtured and funded Vance’s entire political career, Trump’s popularity with his base beat out Vance’s uninspiring rhetoric, behavior and appearance, and now the President is stuck with the most memeable VP ever until at least 2028.

In “Got a Nut,” South Park played on Vance’s unpopularity with his own President as Trump constantly insulted, slapped around and otherwise abused his resident baby-oil applier stationed at Satan’s asshole. There’s even an amazing, subtle background joke in the episode where all the couches in Mar-a-Lago have holes in them, referencing the viral rumor from the 2024 election cycle that Vance admitted to having sex with an inside-out latex glove shoved in between couch cushions in 2016 memoir Hillbilly Elegy.

But, given how the Right’s new strategy for dealing with South Park’s satire of the current administration is to pretend to be in on the joke, Vance likely had his victorious tweet planned before “Got a Nut” even aired and showed him to be the pathetic, servile punching bag we know him to be. Hell, the Vice President probably didn’t even watch the newest South Park episode, given how busy he’s been with baby oil duty.