‘South Park’ Exposes Charlie Kirk for Stealing Cartman’s Shtick

Turning Point USA founder Charlie Kirk fashions himself to be a political debate prodigy, but Eric Cartman just showed us that any racist loser with an internet connection and a hideous haircut can become a masterdebater in his mom’s bathroom.

Over the course of the last two weeks, the alt-right has gone through some serious mood swings when it comes to South Park. After the show’s Season 27 premiere “Sermon on the ‘Mount” explicitly called President Donald “Saddam Hussein” Trump a small-dicked Middle-Eastern dictator who solicits bribes and silences critics through his abuse of the legal system, the White House put out an official statement claiming that South Park "hasn’t been relevant for over 20 years” and that “their popularity continues to hit record lows.” 

Then, when “Sermon on the ‘Mount” broke Paramount+ streaming records, the Right reversed course and began to pretend like they’ve been in on the joke the whole time.

When Kirk saw that South Park was going to parody him by dressing up Cartman in a shitty haircut and have him scream obscenities at college students, he changed his profile picture on Twitter to a still from the promo for tonight’s “Got a Nut,” because he might as well take Cartman’s likeness after he stole all his political beliefs and deceptive editing tactics from the original white supremacist masterdebater.

In “Got a Nut,” Cartman has a conniption when he learns that there’s an entire booming industry of far-right podcasters who say heinous things about women and ethnic minorities just to earn easy cash off of gullible and generous online racists. Cartman, who lives, breathes and shits online bigotry, accuses the industry (and its newest star Clyde Donovan) of stealing his entire ethos and selling it out for a few Patreon subscriptions.

Cartman goes on a masterdebation rampage, admitting to his mother that he can’t stop screaming at female college students on his podcast and editing out their responses if they make any good points (as does Cartman’s copycat Kirk), and since Cartman is a natural troll who truly believes the bile he spews, he earns himself a nomination at the Charlie Kirk Awards for Young Masterdebaters. But, naturally, since the entire industry that copies Cartman only cares about making money off of the grift, Clyde takes home the award for “Best Young Masterdebater” and wins an all-expenses-paid trip to Mar-a-Lago.

While Kirk may have copied Cartman’s small-mindedness, his attitudes toward women and ethnic minorities and his utter unlovability, Kirk will never be as great a chauvinist troll as the OG because Cartman spreads hatred for the love of the game, not love of money. Kirk and his ilk are all grifters who see the growing political divide in our country as a lucrative business opportunity — all masterdebaters care about is getting their nut.