‘The Simpsons’: Bart’s 9 Best Burns of Homer

Bart’s most ‘Why you little---’ worthy moments throughout ‘Simpsons’ history

Unlike Matt Groening, I do not condone a father fully strangling his 10-year-old son just because the boy cracked wise. But, then again, I’ve never had a son as scathing as Bart Simpson.

Over the past 34 seasons of The Simpsons, Homer has seen his Crayon-inhibited intellect challenged and overmatched by his two speaking children — and even Maggie, every now and then. Out of the entire Simpsons clan, Homer is the biggest butt of the joke, with his big butt a constant target for his son’s taunts that, more often than not, earn Bart a wringed neck and a few terrifying moments without access to oxygen.

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Here are Bart’s top 10 burns on his old man in ascending order of their searing qualities…

When Mayflower Moe Is Engaged to Mayflower Marge: “I’m sure the way to win her heart is to be fat and crying.”

Homer: “It’s okay, in 18 months I’ll be out on good behavior.” 
Bart: “We’re Simpsons, dad. We don’t do good behavior.”

Homer: “Marge, are you encouraging me to be irresponsible?” 
Bart: “Why don’t you encourage him to get us some health insurance?”

Homer (As Henry VIII): “My beautiful boy, why can’t I have you?” 
Dream Bart: “I don’t know, too much jerkin’ your merkin?”

Bart dressed as a ghost: “Oooh, I died when Homer sat on me!”

Homer: “You don’t have to follow in my footsteps.” 
Bart: “Don’t worry, I don’t even like using the bathroom after you.”

Homer: “This job is the greatest, they’re paying me to eat!” 
Bart: “Yeah, now if you can just get somebody to pay you for scratching your butt we’ll be on easy street.”

“Mom was right, your singing’s a sin, you’re as Les Misérables as Lee Marvin”

Mr. Burns: “Make yourselves at home” 
Bart: “Hear that, Dad? You can lay around in your underwear and scratch yourself.”

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