Honestly, we don't even know how many articles we've done about crazy Easter eggs hidden in video games. We've got a serious problem, but nobody cares enough to hold an intervention and stop us. And so we continue throwing our lives away, helplessly chronicling each and every bizarre little secret that has ever been rendered in pixels. We're almost as insane as the game developers that keep elaborately hiding these inane treasures in the first place. Almost ...
6Fallout 4's Robot Companion Has Over 1,000 Recorded Names
If a game lets us name our character, we're going to name it something stupid like "my dick," because we found paste delicious as children and are now suffering the consequences. Plus, it's hilarious to see other characters say, "Only my dick can save the world now!" Of course, they don't actually say it aloud -- it's just text. To have an in-game character speak your stupid, childish custom name, a voice actor would have to sit down in a sound booth somewhere and read "Mr. Fuckface" into a microphone. Bonus points if he can do it while not regretting his career choice. Hey, guess what the makers of Fallout 4 did?
Yep, your robot butler with the posh British accent will call you "Mr. Fuckface" if you're so inclined. Here are "Mr. Assface" and "Mr. Titties" and ... we could literally do this all day. There are over 1,000 pre-recorded names available, from normal names like Sam, Jane, and Bort to pop culture references like Deckard, Mr. Anderson, Arya Stark, and Furiosa.
The game started out with a mere 924 names, but a July 2016 update added more than 300 more, including Heisenberg, Starbuck, Cena, Elektra, Joker, Scorpio, and even Brienne and Phasma just for Gwendoline Christie.
But, bizarrely, no Gwendoline.
5Half-Life's Cockroaches React To Food, Threats, And Light
How far ahead of its time was the first Half-Life game, released in 1998? Let's put it this way: The cockroaches had better artificial intelligence than most modern games.
Even with the graphics, half of you still twitched.
The cockroaches aren't important or anything -- they were added only for ambiance. And yet the developers gave each one its own independent AI that reacts differently to various stimuli. When you kill a monster and leave the corpse, cockroaches will instantly rush over to eat it:
You'd think a super-secret lab would be more sterile.
What if a larger monster comes by? The roaches will scatter before the oncoming threat.
"Shit, it's Dad! Run!"
If they're chilling in the dark and you turn on a lamp, they get startled and run away:
Wait, sorry, that was just a Snapchat of our apartment.
And that's just to start: Check out this YouTube channel, which is even now documenting undiscovered details from the first game -- from how to soothe a bullsquid with meat, to flying skull physics, to bathroom stall conversations. Half-Life's developers quietly added all of this without advertising it, in 1998, a year when most game creators were still struggling with the third dimension. Meanwhile, Call Of Duty added fish AI in 2013 and wouldn't shut up about it.