X-Men

Do you currently have the theme song to the 1992 X-Men animated series stuck in your head? No? Well you do now, and for the rest of the week, we bet. Man, that song slaps. You don't even need the nostalgia of coming home from school, opening a Capri Sun and some Fruit By The Foot, and sitting down in front cartoons to appreciate that song. It's that good, and that's the thing about X-Men: when it's good, it rules. They wrote a whole comic about Wolverine letting Colossus get pummeled in a bar fight! Now quick, remind us of literally anything that happened in X-Men Origins: Wolverine that doesn't involve Deadpool. We thought so. 

When X-Men is baffling or nonsensical, things get…well, there's a mutant named “Skin” whose powers are “flappy skin." X-Men's varying quality sometimes leaves us feeling empty, but the good parts stick in our brain to have us wondering how mutants might cheat at sports. Besides, compared to some franchises, X-Men does a great job evolving its central metaphor, giving people in marginalized communities a glimpse of hope in the face of oppression since the 1960s. So jump in the X-Jet and fly to Genosha with us. If you ask nicely, Cyclops will tussle your hair when we get there.

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The 8 Worst X-Men Ever

For every Cyclops whining about how he can literally kill things as soon as he looks at them, there are numerous genetic disasters sitting around Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters putting quotation marks around the word 'gifted.'

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Matching X-Men On Real Dating Sites: An Experiment

If each site is, in fact, capable of uniting perfect matches, then solving the epic love triangle between Cyclops, Wolverine and Jean shouldn't be too much to ask. My research, flawless. My findings, staggering. The study, below.

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