Hurry up, we don't have a lot of time. Everything is evolving into crabs. We can barely even comprehend why life exists and what happens when we die, and now we're all evolving into crabs. We heard Jimmy already has pointy shin bones and yellow poop, poor guy.
Now, evolution takes eons, so we really need to make the most of our time. Before we turn into crabs. Celebrate life on earth. Did you know we found a fossil of a dinosaur butthole? Isn't life amazing? And you won't believe what Errol Flynn did with ducks. And don't forget that there are spiders in your face. Gee, maybe having a hard crab shell over those cheekbones will come in handy.