Bizzaro Swag Franchises & Celebs Have Put Their Names On

It's time to start an 'awful swag' collection.
Bizzaro Swag Franchises & Celebs Have Put Their Names On

Cracked pays people to make smart memes. Visit the Photoplasty and Pictofacts Workshop to get in on it.

Seems like every franchise wants to pull a George Lucas and fill an entire swimming pool with cash earned by selling collectibles. Unfortunately, that means we wind up with some truly questionable, yet truly official, merchandise.

Merchandise like ...

If you crave feeling like a fantasy Spartan, the official 300 briefs are for you. The company behind the design worked closely from the comic, and dir
Die-hard fans of KISS can choose to be buried in a KISS KASKET.  q It's an actual coffin decorated with the KISS logo and band member pictures and aut
What does Thor have in common with a dumbell alarm clock? VONEL THOR DUMBELE ALARM CLOCK THOR Nothing. Absolutely nothing. But hey, it's got his name
It's a Star Wars AT-AT Pet Costume- al For people who don't mind answering the question, What the hell is that supposed to be?
Falll Out Boy harnessed the memes by releasing their own branded fidget spinner in 2017. ORF The spinner lights up, has a bluetooth speaker, and came
For any THEr SPARUK Rred Trekkie with a SFTORER GEneRatian Romulan nEXT THE Ale shaped hole in their heart... CAPTAIN'S HOLIDAY AL PLAVORS CrRUS SO7 M
BPCY TO FUTUREI THE 804 ARE yOe TELLING ME IUNIVEBSAL THAT you MADE suoose A THIMBLE... OUT OF A DELOREAN? In 1989 with the release of Back To The Fut
CRACKED.OON CAMEEOS' AMER AVATAR There're Avatar napkin sets for sale. This is despite the fact that Avatar is an environmental movie and paper napkin
A set of officially licensed Neon Genesis Evangelion steel buckets were released in 2013. ge ge braGarage BEENYEo EVA-05 FRGENO ECAR' VA-02 I:vaGarage
'LET THE SUDS FLOW THROUGH YOU with this bizarre massaging Darth Vader shower head with three spray settings. CRACKEDOON
Volkswagen's bestselling product isn't a car. It's their sausages. VOLKSWAGEN Natrungsmtteiproduktion V SERVICEFACTORY Curry bockwurst D. -38436 Woifs
One of the perks of working for McDonald's is access to a wide variety of secret Im products, like ovin R this branded putter that can be yours for a
Want to seduce her to the dark side? (It's not what you think.) SA You can get a bottle WARS of Star Wars Empire spray cologne, which promises its wea
After the release of The Little Mermaid, Disney had the bright idea to market DiSNEY NEW! Dip Sea Dooz. Crunchy Bite Sized Breaded Fish Nuggets Bakes
You can buy an official Bernie Sanders dog leash. W for Bernie Walks WaUrshory Bernie CRACKEDOON
THE FLAMING LIPS releasedd a special Christmas tree decoration in 2009 - a silver trembling fetus. Frontman Wayne Coyne Coyne described it, as thou
Getting bored with your jewelry? Switch things up a little and nab one of Grimes' pussy rings. That's right, those are rings with vaginas sculpted o
Enchanted Disney FINE JEWELRY ZALES EXPLORE THE COLLECTION THEDIAMOND S TORE $6,999.99 Enchanted Disney Elsa 1-1/5 CT. TW. Diamond Snowflake Engagemen
GAME OF THRONES In 2012 HBO put up scale replicas of the Iron Throne for sale on their website. Coming in at 7 feet and 350 pounds of custom-made fibe
It's the Tauntaun sleeping bag. Because nothing promotes slumber like the eviscerated cavity Of a slain alien beast. GRACKEDAON
TENACIOUS has an official RAG 3 013066 D GUM $12 cum rag, remaCIOUS complete with a unicorn, flower, rainbow, else nag cume Everything a and just bu
CRACKED C COM Maria Sharapova is a big name in tennis, which is why it makes perfect sense for her to release a premium candy line called Sugarpova. S
Before you begin your Jedi training, don't forget to buy an official Padawan Hair Braid from Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge. CRACKED CON
Want to show your classmates or colleagues that DUCKTAPE E OME RaTOW you're a diehard uRzlyhk Directioner? Grab a roll of One Direction duct tape and
Audio manufacturer Sol Republic collaborated with deadmau5 to release a limited edition set of headphones for cats. PUma The headphones were Said to f
CRACKEDOON Eminem sold 700 bricks for a little over 300 dollars each. EMIEM EMINAM The bricks came from his childhood home. Those who ordered also got
Looking to display your ironic nerd humor? Check out the Star Wars Admiral Ackbar ADN Singing Bass. This abomination plays the cantina song and Ackbar
AHE SLY Are you a fan of both The Walking Dead and sensible Korean crossovers? Look no further than the special-edition Walking Dead Hyundai Tucson fr
Pornhub Phone Hand Stand Porn ub You've gone incognito Only $9.95. Whether on the bus, a train, or enjoying a quick bite to eat, now you can let every
Smelling like you're owned by Jabba the Hutt sounds seductive,right? STAR DIARS SLAVE LEIA E R F U M e21O u uid. E The people behind the official Slav
Anyone can create this happy little breakfast. With the official Bob Ross waffle iron. Bkfs CRAGKEIDOON
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