Easy solution: Nothing goes on the plane, and everybody's naked all the time.
Why does that matter? Well, cleaning staff like Bob were usually the last ones on the plane before it was sealed and passengers were admitted. So if they wanted to plant something on it -- like, say, a bomb -- there aren't that many obstacles between them and the plane. Thankfully, up until now, the worst way airport employees abused their freedom was by ... smuggling a shitload of guns and ammo (including AK-47s) across the U.S. But really, what's the worst that could have happened?
"Often, especially with the smaller planes," Bob explains, "we would have complete access to the cockpit ... once I pressed a button on it, and suddenly the whole dashboard came alive, and the plane started making sounds as it was about to take off! I freaked out and turned it off, [but] if I knew how to fly a plane, I could probably hijack one. It wasn't like there are turnkeys or something for it."
Matus Duda / iStock
Professional curiosity -- good.
"What's that doooo?" -- less good.
Okay, but he'd never even have gotten that far if he hadn't passed a rigorous screening process, right?
"The background check only takes into account actual criminal charges," says Bob. "Some juvenile or civil charges could be ignored. For example, a co-worker of mine has been arrested for bringing a knife and some pills to school, but since he was 17 at the time, that charge was not accounted for during the background check, and he got the job. Therefore, people get security clearance and admittance to the back of the airport while having some drug possession, domestic disorder, and other charges."
viganhajdari / pixabay