I said, "I'm just here to collect dental scraps."
Yup, nothing out the ordinary here.
He started frothing at the mouth and screaming about how I was stealing money from his pocket. Which was partially true. But don't feel too bad for him. He offered to sell to me anyway if I'd agree to have a drink with him. He was wearing a wedding band.
"It's ten teeth's worth of gold. That's how I roll."
A little more ammo to add to your irrational anti-dentite stance.
The Social Life Of A Tooth Fairy Is Less Than Ideal
Pulled teeth aren't only gross to look at -- they stink. Especially in mass. Remember, there's a lot of flesh attached to some of them, and it is not at all preserved. They smell like little jars of putrid smoker's breath. I had to stop keeping the jars in my car because the hot sun would basically bake them, and it smelled like I had a corpse in my trunk. I settled for storing them in my bathroom, because I didn't know what else to do.
Put up or shut up time, Febreze.
One night, I had a gentleman caller come over unexpectedly, and I forgot about the jars of teeth. He went to use the toilet. When he came out, he calmly asked, "Why do you have human teeth in your house?"
I explained the job to him, and he seemed remarkably fine with it. He was either relieved that I wasn't a serial killer, or perhaps happy that if he was about to be chopped into little pieces, at least his murderer was a convincing liar.
Timo Gronlund/iStock/Getty Images
Nobody wants to get ganked by a bumbling butcher.
But then again, it's not like the truth -- that I was making a living buying and selling parts of human beings for an underground grey market that preyed upon the poor and ignorant -- was a whole lot sexier.
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For more insider perspectives, check out 5 Horrific Things You Learn Preserving Brains for a Living and 5 Awful Realities Of Transporting Human Corpses For A Job.
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