This girl called in once and wanted to report that her boyfriend had stolen something from her and threatened her. She put the phone down but forgot to end the call -- maybe she expected me to? But we're not allowed to break contact until you do (imagine getting hung up on by your 911 operator). Apparently she was having an argument with her boyfriend and wanted to prove she'd lie to the police to get him in trouble. I distinctly heard her say, "See, you'd better shape up!" She wound up getting busted for filing a false report, but punishments like that are few and far between.
"Hello, the sudoku answers the woman next to me keeps putting down are a crime against math."
Chattanooga, Tennessee, has one of the largest freshwater aquariums in the world. People would get kicked out of the aquarium for cussing and "making eyes" at the seals. (Sexy eyes? Angry eyes? Which option is less disturbing?) These same "too hot for the aquarium" folks would call 911 and complain that their First Amendment rights were being violated. But private companies can absolutely kick you off of their property, and 911 wouldn't be the right place to call in that "emergency" anyway. Is there any situation in which your ability to lustily eye-f**k some seals constitutes an emergency?
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Well, not now, but maybe in four hours.