15 First Jokes, Roasts, and Zingers from Iconic Characters

15 First Jokes, Roasts, and Zingers from Iconic Characters

A great show can really sum up a character’s personality in their first moment. The genius of the show’s creators and writers were subtly on display here because, although we may not have known it at the time, we actually learned a lot about these now-iconic characters from their first lines. Some characters evolve over the years, and some never learn any lessons, but either way, it’s always nice to look back on the incredibly flawed person they were in the beginning (and for a large portion of the show’s run). 

If we’re hooked, and follow the show season after season, a once over of the pilot feels like an old yearbook. They have these primitive, sometimes almost embarrassing atmospheres that were luckily good enough to keep the show chugging along. As money flowed in, the characters started looking a lot better (or worse if you’re Rob McElhenney tackling this trope). And as the actors and writers worked to round out the character, they became finely crafted into someone to love for the long haul. Let’s look back to where it all began with these 15 of your favorite character’s first ever lines of dialogue.

Liz Lemon

CRACKED LIZ LEMON Whoa, excuse me! There's a line, buddy! 30 ROCK Her assertive street justice moment paired with the fact that she's buying a hotdog is classic Lemon right off the hop.


Jake Peralta

GRACKED JAKE PERALTA This job is eating me alive. I can't breathe anymore. I spent all these years trying to be the good guy. The man in the white hat. I'm not becoming like them. I am them. BROOKLYN NINE-NINE Не reveals that it's a speech from Donnie Brasco. The lines are word for word, but Brasco's full speech has more F-bombs, and a fear of getting Lefty whacked.


Michael Bluth

GRACKED MICHAEL BLUTH You can't just comb that out and reset it? ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT This line about Lucille's hair is a response to her line, Look what the homosexuals have done to me.


Moira Rose

CRACKED MOIRA ROSE I've been gutted! John, I've been stripped of every morsel of pleasure I earned in this life! SCHITT'S CREEK Schitt's Creek really lays out the premise in this first scene, and no character's first line encapsulates this as well as Moira's.


Sign up for the Cracked Newsletter

Get the best of Cracked sent directly to your inbox!

Forgot Password?