5

Many Of The Simpsons' Best Episodes Were Written By A Genius Recluse

Over the course of his career, John Swartzwelder wrote 59 episodes of The Simpsons, including all of your favorites, such as "Bart The General," "You Only Move Twice," and "Itchy And Scratchy Land." Yes, believe it or not, a human mind came up with this gag:

So what was Swartzwelder's technique for surefire critical acclaim? Well, it involved a shitload of cigarettes and a deadly allergy to showing up to staff meetings -- or indeed, dealing with anybody, ever. Although he started out working at the office, Swartzwelder was eventually released from duty (and from giving a shit) due to his habit of chain-smoking indoors despite it being forbidden. Without the obligation to operate from an office, he eventually found his perfect working environment: a specific booth in a local diner, from which he'd spend every day pouring down coffee and pouring out his heart and blackened, blackened lungs. He became so attached to this booth that (according to Matt Groening on one Season 8 DVD commentary) when The Man banned smoking in public places, Swartzwelder bought the booth and had it installed in his own home.

He cultivated such an air of mystery that at one time, hardcore superfans thought "John Swartzwelder" was a name shared by several writers -- sort of an opposite Alan Smithee. The fact that there's only one documented sighting of him hasn't done much for these rumors, but it also hasn't stopped the show's animators from dropping him into as many random scenes as possible:

20th Television

4

Seinfeld Hired Writers For Their Weird Stories (Which Became The Show's Plots)

It's no secret that Seinfeld was based on a lot of Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David's real-life experiences, such as having an eccentric neighbor named Kramer. Of course, at a certain point, the pair had to seek out other writers ... mainly, it seems, to siphon off their amusing anecdotes for use in the show.

According to the book Seinfeldia, David and Seinfeld "rarely hired" writers with sitcom experience. Between seasons, most of the writers would be fired, and David "would bring in a batch of former stand-ups, use all the best material from their lives for plots ... then start fresh with a new batch of lives to harvest." Yeah, these guys were more or less Nosferatus who lived off of awkward sex stories.

Adding to the weirdness, Seinfeld didn't have a traditional writers' room. Writers would have to track down Larry or Jerry in the "maze" of offices, and pitch ideas either based on their own experiences or the experiences of someone else. One writer, Spike Feresten, went for a meeting with the pair and pitched ten ideas which all bombed. Then, to "lighten the mood," Ferensten started telling them about a mean soup vendor -- at which point, to his utter confusion, they threw him out of the room and said, "That's your first episode." Boom, pure TV magic:

The same writer also based Elaine's terrible dancing on the baffling dance moves of his former boss, SNL creator Lorne "Dr. Evil" Michaels.

Festivus, George's dad's embarrassing alternative to Christmas, was based on one of the actual family traditions of writer Dan O'Keefe, who had to be convinced to let it in by the producers, because he didn't want his "family shame" broadcast in prime time. According to O'Keefe, "The Airing of Grievances" was a real thing, but the aluminum pole was made up for the show, because "the real symbol of the holiday was a clock inside a bag nailed to the wall and nearby a sign that says 'Fuck Fascism.'" Incidentally, has anyone checked to see whether Larry David had a fiancee who perished under mysterious circumstances involving wedding invitations?

3

Star Trek: The Next Generation Was Sometimes Written By Fans

Some weeks you'd tune into Star Trek: The Next Generation, only to be assaulted by exploding heads and Cronenberg puppet monsters, while other weeks you might get plumes of green mist doling out space orgasms. So what went into this genius hodgepodge of space adventure with the occasional confused eroticism?

2

The Next 14 Transformers Movies Were Plotted Out In A Hasbro-Covered Sweat Lodge

We don't know much about how the early installments of the Transformers live-action film series were written, but we're going to guess that it probably involved measuring how big an erection Michael Bay got when he started dreaming up action sequences. Oh, and writing in female parts so he'd have someone to wash his car. As it became clear that the series refused to die, however, fresh ideas were needed -- hence the creation of a sitcom-esque writer's room, wherein a team of scribes were paid $200,000 each to dream up as many premises as their talents and consciences allowed them to.

But this particular writers' room wasn't simply chairs and a vending machine. Oh no, in order to get those writing juices flowing, Hasbro had the room stocked with as many Transformers products as conceivably possible. Pinball machines, action figures, artwork, giant model robots, you name it -- the writers had to dim the lights and breath that shit in like shamans divining messages from Megatron.

HasbroHopefully, not every incarnation of the brand was represented.

1

Every Episode Of Rick & Morty Is Made Using A Very Specific Formula (And Occasionally Booze)

Even if you've never watched Rick & Morty, you've no doubt heard about the intense loyalty it inspires. Want to know the secret to creating a hit motherfucking show that moves people to swap a 1 oz sauce packet for a 2000 Volkswagen Golf MK4? So did we. Here's what we found out.

Each episode is written using specific a formula: co-creator Dan Harmon's "Story Circle" or "Embryos." Harmon has been using this basic structure to write scripts since at least his previous show, like this:

FilmInTheMaking/YouTube"Order" represents the side with pepperoni, "Chaos" the side with pineapples.

The Story Circle was inspired by The Hero With A Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell. Harmon adapted it to work for him, and meta-hilarity ensued. YouTuber FilmInTheMaking gives us an excellent rundown of Harmon's Story Circle using Rick & Morty's pilot:

Step 1: YOU. In this case, "You" means Morty, perpetually trapped at the horrifying stage of life called "being 14." Your comfort zone is high school, which sucks, but is at least something you can cope with on a day-to-day basis.

FilmInTheMaking/YouTube

Step 2: NEED. The bully pulls a switchblade on you. It's safe to say you need some help with that. Luckily, your genius alcoholic grandfather shows up in the nick of time and zaps him with a freeze ray because he needs your help.

FilmInTheMaking/YouTube