The 15 Cringiest Lyrics of the ‘90s

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The 15 Cringiest Lyrics of the ‘90s

The ‘90s were a confusing time. The internet existed but no one knew how to use it, our clothes often matched our disposable cups, and for some reason, every TV and movie character was legally obligated to declare “It’s the ‘90s!” at least three times. It was like a Bloody Mary type of thing: Repeat it enough and the Spice Girls showed up, struck a pose, and shouted “Girl power!”

Man, remember the Spice Girls? No one can deny their important contributions to music and cinematic history, but have you ever actually listened to one of their songs? They make no sense. “Say You’ll Be There” switches back and forth between telling some dude to peace off and begging him to, you know, be there. They’re all like that. In fact, it sometimes feels like no one had any idea what they were talking about back in the days of alterna-grunge and baby tees.

“Informer” by Snow

CRACKED PURE BLACK PEOPLE, MAN, THAT'S ALL I MAN KNOW SNOW Dear white dudes: 1) Never say this under any circumstance. 2) Definitely not right before admitting you come from Toronto.

YT 

“Good Vibrations” by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch (Yeah, Again)

CRACKED GOOD LIKE SUNKIST, MANY WANNA KNOW WHO DONE THIS MARKY MARK AND THE FUNKY BUNCH и Not only could Wahlberg not think of anything better than orange juice, we have to believe that Trump adopted his many people are saying strategy from this song.

Reddit 

“Good Vibrations” by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch

CRACKED BLACK, WHITE, RED, BROWN, FEEL THE VIBRATION MARKY MARK AND THE FUNKY BUNCH EYYORK The I don't see color vibe is bad enough, but there's a key color missing there, and if you know Wahlberg's history, it's... glaring.

EW

“Crash Into Me” by Dave Matthews Band

CRACKED HIKE UP YOUR SKIRT A LITTLE MORE AND SHOW YOUR WORLD TO ME DAVE MATTHEWS BAND A whole lot of us had formative middle school dance moments to a song about peeping tommery.

YT

“She’s So High” by Tal Bachman

CRACKED LIKE CLEOPATRA, JOAN OF ARC, OR APHRODITE TAL BACHMAN Putting a woman on a pedestal? Gross. That woman is Joan of Arc? Weird martyr fetish.

Hot 104.7

“Brimful of Asha” by Cornershop

CRACKED EVERYBODY NEEDS A BOSOM FOR A PILLOW CORNERSHOP Bosom was a cringey term even 30 years ago. Just say you want some tiddies.

Rolling Stone

“This Kiss” by Faith Hill

CRACKED IT'S CENTRIFUGAL MOTION FAITH HILL Centrifugal motion would actually propel these lovers away from each other, which would make it very difficult to kiss.

Fox

“Everything Zen” by Bush

CRACKED WE KISSY-KISS IN THE REAR VIEW BUSH We let Gavin Rossdale get away with a lot in the '90s just because he looks like that, including actual baby talk.

IMDB 

“Summer Girls” by LFO

CRACKED NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK HAD A BUNCH OF HITS, CHINESE FOOD MAKES ME SICK ه LFO M LIN This summer jam reads like Jason Mendoza attempting a stream-of-consciousness exercise.

BBC

“I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred

CRACKED I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY CAT RIGHT SAID FRED S PUK BUDD Never listen too closely to this song, which is really a bleak portrait of self-defeating narcissism, but this pet-owner relationship is even better left unexplored.

Last FM

“I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)” by Meat Loaf

CRACKED SOME NIGHTS, I JUST PRAY TO THE GOD OF SEX AND DRUMS AND ROCK AND ROLL MEAT LOAF Don't believe the hype: Не makes it perfectly clear what he will and won't do for love. But the substitution of drugs just makes him sound like a nerd.

CNN

“Waterfalls” by TLC

CRACKED BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, THE REST IS UP TO ME AND YOU TLC So it's up to you, the listener, to obey the first command, and then the rest is also up to you. Way to shirk responsibility, Left Eye.

People

“Meet Virginia” by Train

CRACKED WELL, SHE WANTS TO LIVE HER LIFE, THEN SHE THINKS ABOUT HER LIFE TRAIN KORG CN THE DE VOK The whole song is laziness in audio form, but rhyming life with life is a new low.

“Wannabe” by the Spice Girls

CRACKED I WANNA REALLY, REALLY, REALLY WANNA ZIG-A-ZIG AH SPICE GIRLS It's bad enough that Mel В insists on and then seemingly refuses to tell us what she really, really wants, but she later said it actually means anything, an ad-lib of sorts, which is somehow worse.

Time

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