5 Cameos That Did Not Work Out
If you're a director looking to add some extra star power to your movie, one of the simplest ways is to throw in a random celebrity cameo (or 12) and watch the internet go ga-ga. It worked for the MCU and Star Wars ("That Stormtrooper was Daniel Craig!"), so why wouldn't it work for you? As it turns out, there are many reasons it might not! Like how ...
Ed Sheeran Makes Game Of Thrones Viewers Mad, The Show Brutally Kills Him In The Next Season
In the first episode of Game Of Thrones' seventh season, Ed Sheeran has a small cameo as "Eddie," who's fairly innocuous despite being a Lannister soldier. He shows up, sings a song, then buggers off forever. He doesn't even commit a single war crime! You know, apart from the singing.
Unsurprisingly, the internet did not appreciate this distracting bit of worldbuilding, and exploded into a rage-nado of snark, whining, hot takes, and memes so intense that Sheeran abandoned his Twitter the day after the episode was broadcast. That said, he still retained a sense of humor about the whole thing. In a subsequent interview, he said his character was out there "chilling" and living his best life. Oh, you sweet summer child.
In the first episode of the eighth and final season, two minor characters holding a casual conversation mention "that boy Eddie," who has been badly mutilated in battle with Daenerys' forces. He "came back with his face burned right off. He's got no eyelids now."
On the face of it, it's kinda weird that the writers decided to waste precious screen time getting "revenge" on a character they themselves failed to write properly. On closer inspection, however, it's clear they were foreshadowing the final episode, in which they failed to write any character properly.
Logan Paul Annoys Ice-T On The Set Of Law & Order, Gets Called A "Dumb F---"
Before he became the epitome of everything wrong with YouTube and the internet as a whole, Logan Paul appeared in a single episode of Law & Order: SVU as a wannabe cyberterrorist who kidnaps and attempts to murder a video game developer because she's a cuck ess-jay-double-you who loves feminism and hates white men. Yes, we're talking about the ripped-from-the-headlines episode inspired by GamerGate. The episode ends with Logan-P catching a bullet from Ice-T, who probably wanted to cap the lil' bastard for real after Paul arrived on set and promptly confused him for a security guard. T called him a "dumb f---" in return.
Paul later defended himself by saying that he wasn't party to "the Ice-T generation," which would be a fair excuse if Ice-T wasn't also a main cast member on SVU. You know, the show he was acting in that day. Ice-T isn't exactly broken up about the encounter, though, judging by the fact that he still doesn't know who Paul was or is. If we didn't have a reason to be envious of him before, we definitely do now.
Related: 6 Terrible Cameos That Just About Ruined The Movie
The Spice Girls Movie Had To Drop Several Cameos For Awful Reasons
1997 was a big year for movies, what with the release of Titanic, Men In Black, and Batman & Robin. In December, however, Spice World arrived to blow these piddly offerings out of the water. And how could it not? It had everything: the Spice Girls, that one song that goes "zig-a zig zig-a," and a string of cameos from celebrities eager to get aboard the Spice Train before it had a chance to fly into a ravine. And how could they have known that the entire production was apparently the target of an ancient curse?
The producers managed to bag a cameo by renowned designer Gianni Versace -- the idea being that all along, he was the one designing the girls', um, distinctive fashions. Unfortunately, his cameo had to be cut after he was assassinated by a deranged psychopath a few months ahead of the release. One month after that, a reference to Princess Diana also had to be excised after she died in a car accident -- coincidentally also caused by a deranged psychopath, Queen Eliza.
And it gets worse. In one scene, the girls broke out into a rendition of "I'm The Leader Of The Gang (I Am!)," the climax of which featured a cameo by none other than the song's original singer, Gary Glitter -- glam rocker, icon, and convicted child molester. Two weeks after the final cut of the movie was delivered to the studio, Glitter was arrested after a bunch of child pornography was found on his hard drive. He was immediately cut from the movie, but it soon found its way onto the internet. Which was impressive, considering that -- judging by the quality -- it was apparently filmed on a camera from 1897.
Hitchcock's Cameos Distracted Audiences So Much That He Had To Change How He Did Them
Stan Lee got a lot of credit for making cameos in every Marvel movie, but he was actually copying the work of someone else ( which was so unlike him). Alfred Hitchcock cameoed in 40 of his own movies in a variety of ways, from a background extra to a silhouette to a newspaper advertisement to a portly-shaped lightbulb. These aren't quite as interesting as DJing in a strip club, sure, but audiences nonetheless loved them. They'd watch his movies intently, waiting for him to pop up.
This soon became a problem, however. As the notoriety of his cameos grew, Hitchcock realized that people were so eager to spot him that they weren't properly engaging with his movies -- which is a bad thing when you're trying to create suspense. In order to have his cake and eat it, Hitchcock started inserting himself into each film as early as he could, so that viewers could be sated and start, y'know, paying attention.
Related: 12 Creators Who Had Brilliant Cameos In Their Own Work
Wolverine Was Supposed To Appear In Sam Raimi's Spider-Man, But They Lost His Suit
In the aftermath of Disney buying out Fox and its associated properties, the internet lost its mind imagining the many magical crossovers that were about to happen. Deadpool and Spider-Man! The Fantastic Four and Spider-Man! Wolverine and Spider-Ma- OK, it was mainly Spider-Man. But the weird thing is that we almost got a Wolverine/Spidey crossover way back in 2002, when Spider-Man was all about Tobey Maguire, Sami Raimi, and Chad Kroeger's "Hero," and don't even pretend you don't know what song we're talking about.
According to no less than Hugh Jackman himself, Spider-Man was supposed to feature a walk-on by Wolverine. We say "supposed to," because despite Hugh, Sam, and Tobey being game and ready to film this thing, no one could find Jackman's suit, and so they wound up scrapping the idea. This despite Wolverine's "suit" consisting of a black leather onesie, which we're told isn't that hard to find in NYC.
The series eventually made fetch happen in Spider-Man 2, albeit in the most lackluster way possible. At the end, when MJ flees her wedding to be with Peter, she runs past a man in a black coat. We realize that's not much (read: anything) to go on. Here's the guy in question:
That's supposed to be Frank Castle, aka the Punisher. For legal reasons, however, the movie couldn't use Thomas Jane (who had just played the character in a movie), and so they had to settle for his stuntman. Meaning the scene is effectively MJ getting stared out by a crazed-looking dude on the street. Which, come to think of it, is a pretty good encapsulation of what it's like to live in NYC.
Adam Wears is (allegedly) a comedy writer. Want to read other articles he's written for Cracked? Click here! Want to follow him on Twitter? Click here!
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