15 Health Fads of the Past That Would Even Give Gwyneth Pause

Believe it or not, the past was even dumber.
15 Health Fads of the Past That Would Even Give Gwyneth Pause

Right now, we as a culture are experiencing a real health scam renaissance. From soothing clinics offering the Mr. Freeze treatment to child laborers mining pretty rocks to detox kits that contain no food, there’s always someone around the corner offering a longer, healthier life if you just eat/bathe in/rectally ingest whatever they’re selling. It’s such a lucrative racket that Gwyneth Paltrow walked away from a perfectly good acting career just to hawk mushroom water.

But believe it or not, the past was even dumber. For almost all of it, we didn’t even know what germs were, let alone the dangers of radiation or the hilarious useless of fart-sniffing. (Yes, that will be relevant.) You might think it’s just common sense not to drill holes into your skull or stop bathing, but who knows? Maybe in the future, they’ll laugh at us for chugging milk like little babies or swallowing vitamins we may or may not be able to absorb. At least we aren’t letting people literally blow smoke up our asses.

Zap Happy

Health fads of the past 19TH CENTURY ELECTROCUTION Victorians cured just about everything by applying electrodes to whatever body part was troubling them, because most old-timey health fads sound like weird sex stuff. CRACKED

Public Domain


She Don’t Lie

Health fads of the past 19TH CENTURY ion of Erythoxylon Coca. COCAINE by sand Marien tten 05.00 13.00 Coca wine was a our and popular energy drink erits and doctors thought thus it cured basically mia, everything, but birth Please specify VIN MARIANI. Per case of half-dozen Bottles, Per case of One Dozen Bottles eral patients were д. in probably just ica- distracted by how gth- awesome Beethoven VIN TONIQUE MARIANI suddenly was. un- ven PARIS, COCA ETTE DU ALA Haussmann PÉROU PLUS 4LB EFFICACE DESTONIQUES TI DES or on. FB MARLANT MARIAN'S TONIC VICCOCA adidas paperball ways CUPSULE CAPULED 1

Public Domain

CBS News

When “Dead” Was Hot

Health fads of the past ARSENIC DR. MOUNTEBANK'S - - PERMANENTLY YOUTHFUL PALLOR EXPENSIVELY 19TH CENTURY HARMLESS PERFUMED SAFE ARSENICAL ABSOLUTELY LOTION - RESTORES A LOVELY COMPLEXION Since 180 Mdme. Esme Ennui finds Dr. Mountebank's Arsenical Lotion most excellent PARIS From Victorians loved their arsenic and used it to color home goods, cure their asthma and bedroom problems, and give their skin that lovely pale glow of death. CRACKED

Public Domain


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