We Need Hot Messes Like John Early’s New HBO Special ‘Now More Than Ever’

Comedy special, meet gritty 1970s rockumentary.

Authors: By Matt Solomon
Published: June 08, 2023
Comments: 0

Trey Parker and Matt Stone Say They’ve Spent ‘Infinity Dollars’ on Rehabbing Casa Bonita

Or just $40 million, which is still a lot for a taco shop

Authors: By Keegan Kelly
Published: June 08, 2023
Comments: 2

Joan Rivers Had 65,000 Jokes in Her Card Catalog

Her legendary joke-filled filing cabinet will be put on display at the National Comedy Center

Authors: By Keegan Kelly
Published: June 08, 2023
Comments: 2

Julia Louis-Dreyfus Says Antonin Scalia and Elena Kagan Had Weekly 'Veep' Recap Lunches

No one loved ‘Veep’ more than the people skewered on ‘Veep’

Authors: By Keegan Kelly
Published: June 08, 2023
Comments: 0

12 Fictional Workplaces That Should Have Unionized

Sitcoms love dumping on H.R., but these fictional employees were desperate for it.

Authors: By Jay L'Ecuyer, JhallComics
Published: June 08, 2023
Comments: 6

30 Food Trends From The 1980s We Don't Need To Return

By:: Cracked Writers; Brian C. Miller

July 16, 2022

30 Food Trends From The 1980s We Don't Need To Return

Nostalgia for the 1980s is hot right now, with shows like Stranger Things out there basically making it their whole thing. You can see where wistful looking back comes from: Cellphones were in their stone age, movies weren't just rehashes of the same old Marvel tropes rinsed and repeated, and television shows actually had catchy intro jingles. Seriously, what happened to television show intro songs?

But that doesn't mean we want EVERYTHING from the 1980s to return… In fact, most of the popular or novel food trends and more than invited to stay stuck in the past. New Coke, of course, is the biggest example of one of the greatest failures in marketing history… But there were plenty of other bad ideas out there, like pizza flavored snack chips, McDonalds selling spaghetti, and godforsaken Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles puddin' pies “loaded with puddin' power!”

…Ah, who are we kidding, we're maybe still a little nostalgic for some of these too.

29 New Coke

New Coke EW! 12 FL OZ 354 mL Coke Trade-mark ® GRACKED.COM After its much-hyped launch in 1985, New Coke crashed and burned so bad its name has become syn- onymous with failure. Ev- eryone can learn a lesson here: Do not buckle to the Pepsi Challenge. — Source: 15 Weirdest Food Trends of the ‘80s

28 Weight Watchers Margarine

... TELL US NOW. WEIGHT WATCHER MARGARINE WeightWatchers 1 of MARGARINE MARGARINA 28% Fett 28% de mat. gr. -65% Fett de matière grasse 250g 7610827 668296 Serviervorschlag Mike H. says, My parents were big into WW all through the 80s so that's what passed for 'butter' in our house. That stuff wouldn't melt under a blow torch. CRACKED.COM — Source: 26 Food Products From The 80s (That Should Stay In The Past)

27 Microwave Fries

... TELL US NOW. MICROMAGIC FRIES Micro VE Magic ES MICROWAVE FRENCH FRIES Natural Rob G. doesn't miss these, saying they basically turned to powder in your mouth CRACKED.COM — Source: 26 Food Products From The 80s (That Should Stay In The Past)

26 Sandwich Slices

... TELL US NOW. LUNCH WAGON SANDWICH SLICES SAVE UP TO 30 on Lunch Wagon Great taste at a great price Lunch Wagon 16 Richwich sam Steven F. says, I never ate them, but from the ads I saw for them, I knew they had to be the fakest of all fake cheeses. CRACKED.COM — Source: 26 Food Products From The 80s (That Should Stay In The Past)

25 Pizza at McDonalds

McPizza LICENSER DE M° Donald's HAMBURGERS HAMBURGE MARES ARO DRIN have So Ques 25BILLION CRACKED CON At some point in the mid '80s, McDon- ald's realized that if they could just work out the only American favorite they didn't yet serve, they could be gods. Fortunately for all of us, they never managed to get the price low enough or the cooking process fast enough for the McPizza to be sustain- able in the long term, and by the '90s, the whole thing seemed like a drunken fever dream. — Source: 15 Weirdest Food Trends of the ‘80s

24 "Light" Drinks

Light Drinks Diet Diet Diet Diet Diet Coke Coke Coke Coke! Coke - CRACKED.COM The success of Diet Coke in 1982 per- haps led the company to fly too close to the sun. It kicked off a whole slew of light drinks, like Crystal Light and Bud Light, in response to the burgeoning health craze. Sure, they're not actually much better for you than their non-diet counter- parts, but you can't blame people for being desperate. Those leotards were not forgiving. — Source: 15 Weirdest Food Trends of the ‘80s

23 Lean Cuisine

Lean Cuisine GRACKED COM Likewise, Stouffer's launched their line of healthy frozen dinners in 1981, and within two years, Lean Cui- sine was so popular that grocery stores frequently ran out. It's not clear whether this was because a tiny squirt of reconstituted potatoes and a fistful of salt are so unsatisfy- ing that you had to eat five at a time or people actually liked them. — Source: 15 Weirdest Food Trends of the ‘80s

22 McSpaghetti

... TELL US NOW. MCSPAGHETTI McSPAGNETTI McSPAGNETTI. E of Kobesti Robbie S. nominates McDonald's attempt at spaghetti as the worst food product of the 80s. CRACKED.COM — Source: 26 Food Products From The 80s (That Should Stay In The Past)

21 Pizza Spins

... TELL US NOW. PIZZA SPINS PizzaSpins I - - SNACK Sheila W. says, Think I had them once or twice... not good! CRACKED.COM — Source: 26 Food Products From The 80s (That Should Stay In The Past)

20 OJ's

... TELL US NOW. OJ'S Kalleygu Packed with Vitamin с OJ's Brad H. says, I remember there was an orange-flavored cereal called OJ's. It tasted as disgusting as it sounds. CRACKED.COM — Source: 26 Food Products From The 80s (That Should Stay In The Past)

19 Mug-o-Lunch

... TELL US NOW. MUG-O-LUNCH Mug- Mug. Mug. o-Lunch o-Lunch o-Lunch Allen D. says, Truly the start of the 'depression meal', these reconstituted garbage cans just tasted like steamy summer ballsack. CRACKED.COM — Source: 26 Food Products From The 80s (That Should Stay In The Past)

18 Tobacco Gum

Tobacco Gum CRACKED.COM The '80s were a wild time for the chewing gum business, which also insisted on announcing Have some practice chaw, kids! with the introduction of Big League Chew in 1980. The shredded strands of stickiness looked just like that weird-smelling stuff all their favorite baseball players and least-favorite uncle were always chewing. — Source: 15 Weirdest Food Trends of the ‘80s

17 Food Tie-Ins

Tie-In Foods GRACKED.COM The height of commercialism brought with it the height of pop culture or celebrity tie-in prod- ucts. You could eat your Pac-Man cereal with some Star Wars cook- ies on the side and an Ecto Cooler and never worry that someone wasn't trying to sell you some- thing every second of the day. — Source: 15 Weirdest Food Trends of the ‘80s

16 Hubba Bubba Soda

Hubba Bubba Soda Bagno Diet SODA ubba Bobs CRACKED.COM abba a The madness of brands veering wildly out of their lines continued with Hubba Bubba Soda, because who wouldn't want to drink bub- ble gum? Everyone, it turns out. Incidentally, it was also available in diet, because just because you were chugging chewy sugar didn't mean you had to be intemperate. — Source: 15 Weirdest Food Trends of the ‘80s

15 Burgers at Taco Bell

Taco Bell Burgers CRACKED.COM While McDonald's was busy trying to take over the world, Taco Bell used the distraction to weasel in on the burger business with, so help us God, the Bell Beefer. Every- one was trying to be some- thing they weren't. — Source: 15 Weirdest Food Trends of the ‘80s

14 TMNT Pudding Pies

... TELL US NOW. PUDDING PIE: TMNT Nate W. informs us, There was a special pudding pie tie-in to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Green!!! CRACKED.COM — Source: 26 Food Products From The 80s (That Should Stay In The Past)

13 Undercover Bears

... TELL US NOW. UNDERCOVER BEARS OATMEAL Richard H. jokes, Maybe if we throw some candy and fake mystery in our oatmeal, the kids will ask for it. CRACKED.COM — Source: 26 Food Products From The 80s (That Should Stay In The Past)

12 Pudding Pies

... TELL US NOW. PUDDING PIES PUDDING PIE NEW Hostess a CALLY FLAVORED Sean M. says, I'm only glad that Hostess Pudding Pie is gone because I would weigh 300 lbs if it weren't. CRACKED.COM — Source: 26 Food Products From The 80s (That Should Stay In The Past)

11 Toaster Pizzas

... TELL US NOW. TOASTER PIZZA CHEESE TM loaster Quick Snacks PIZZA BUTTONI INSTANT KEE FROZ Liz K. doesn't miss these, saying, There was no good way to heat them up. it would still be frozen in the middle or the filling would fall out of the bottom. CRACKED.COM — Source: 26 Food Products From The 80s (That Should Stay In The Past)

10 Steak-umms

Steak- umms CRACKED CON Arguably the unholiest food to rise to power in the '80s was the Steak-umm, a thin slice of frozen beef that went national when it was acquired by Heinz in 1980. Sure, you could just grill a steak in the time it took to thaw, but the concept of beef doesn't have a sassy Twitter account, now, does it? — Source: 15 Weirdest Food Trends of the ‘80s

9 Medieval Times

Medieval Times CRACKED.COM All the way back in the '60s, a Spanish barbecuist and history buff got the idea to marry slow-roasted meats with live jousting, and twenty years later, his weird fetish came to life in the form of the first Medieval Times restaurant, which opened in 1983. Of course, it was in Flori- da. — Source: 15 Weirdest Food Trends of the ‘80s

8 Dr Pepper Gum

Dr Pepper Gum WRIGLEY'S Pepper Hubba cherry Bubba ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORE 5 PIECES GRAGKED.COM PUBBLE GUM Even though their soda failed, Hubba Bubba remained deter- mined to get into the soda game and finally found a winner (?) in soda-flavored gum with liquid centers, answering the question, What if Gushers, but it lasts way longer than anyone wants? — Source: 15 Weirdest Food Trends of the ‘80s

7 Wine Coolers

Wine Coolers CRACKED.COM In the mid '80s, beverage manufactur- ers discovered an untapped market of people who couldn't handle a dry white wine or hoppy beer that nevertheless wanted to get fucked up, so they went all in on the wine cooler. Early wine coolers were more like bottled mimo- sas, but in true '80s fashion, they got more and more extreme until purveyors realized they didn't even need to con- tain wine, making way for hard lemon- ade and cider to become the stepping stone of choice between baby and big kid drinks for high school shoplifters. — Source: 15 Weirdest Food Trends of the ‘80s

6 Purple Passion

... TELL US NOW. PURPLE PASSION PURPLE FASS PASSION PARPLE PREPEJ PURPLE NATIONAL PASSION PURPLE PUEPLE PASSION PLE PURPLE PASSION BION PASSION Jeff L. says, So many pink vomit stains on the street from this stuff. CRACKED.COM — Source: 26 Food Products From The 80s (That Should Stay In The Past)

5 Pudding Roll-Ups

... TELL US NOW. PUDDING ROLL-UPS PUDDING PUDDING PUDD ROLL-UPS ROLL-UPS ROLL - - adidas Sandy M. doesn't want us to forget about perhaps the weirdest form of pudding created. CRACKED.COM — Source: 26 Food Products From The 80s (That Should Stay In The Past)

4 Smurfberry Crunch

... TELL US NOW. SMURFBERRY CRUNCH SMURE BERRY RUNCH This sugary cereal was nominated by Richard D. as good to be stuck in the past. CRACKED.COM — Source: 26 Food Products From The 80s (That Should Stay In The Past)

3 Sizzlean

... TELL US NOW. SIZZLEAN sizzlean 50% Leaner No - and Jennifer C. says, It tasted like rubber and disappointment. If you want health bacon eat turkey bacon or no bacon at all. CRACKED.COM — Source: 26 Food Products From The 80s (That Should Stay In The Past)

2 The McDLT

The McDLT CRACKED.COM The award for the most thoroughly '80s product, however, goes to the McDLT, a McDonald's hamburger that came in a special polystyrene container that sep- arated all the cold ingredients from the hot ones, to be assembled just prior to eating by the customer so as not to wilt those crisp, fresh veggies McDonald's is known for. It was obscenely wasteful, totally unnecessary, and mostly ineffec- tive. It was perfectly '80s. — Source: 15 Weirdest Food Trends of the ‘80s

1 Fast Food Buffets

Fast Food Buffets SUPERBAR GARDEN SPOT GRAGKED.COM In the days of the universal salad bar, every fast food restaurant wanted in on the bar ac- tion, and we don't mean hotel mini fridges stashed in PlayPlaces for weary parents. Piz- za Hut, of course, had a buffet to accompany their obsolete dine-in service, KFC offered trays of pudding and chicken gizzards, Taco Bell challenged diners to all-you-can-eat cheap burritos, Burger King's traditional sal- ad bar went largely ignored, but the Wen- dy's Superbar was the true MVP, offering sal- ad, pasta, and a Mexican Fiesta. Honestly, we should bring this — Source: 15 Weirdest Food Trends of the ‘80s

Recommended For Your Pleasure

15 Trivia Tidbits About Keenen Ivory Wayans on His 65th Birthday

You probably know about ‘In Living Color,’ but did you know he appeared on the second ever episode of ‘Cheers,’ too?

Authors: By Brian VanHooker
Published: June 08, 2023
Comments: 0

13 Eric Andre Jokes for the Comedy Hall of Fame

Andre doesn’t just walk the comedic line of awkward and absurd, he does cartwheels on it

Authors: By Erik Barnes
Published: June 08, 2023
Comments: 0

TikTok Claps Back at Stand-Up Who Ripped Gen Z for Not Knowing How to Read Cursive

An inane ‘kids these days’ bit drew the ire of the TikTok generation

Authors: By Keegan Kelly
Published: June 08, 2023
Comments: 13

23 Actors With Chemistry So Insane That It Defies Science

These duos show what it’s like when two performers really click

Authors: By Lauren Vinopal
Published: June 08, 2023
Comments: 5

Four Comedies We Didn’t Know Were Autobiographical

Making secretly personal movies is way cheaper than therapy

Authors: By JM McNab
Published: June 08, 2023
Comments: 1

‘Based On A True Story’ Judges You for Watching It

In Peacock’s new true-crime satire, the only thing worse than murder is a murder fan

Authors: By Tara Ariano
Published: June 08, 2023
Comments: 1