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31 Smart Folks Who Are Kind of Dumb in Specific Ways

By:: Cracked Writers; Brian C. Miller

September 15, 2023

31 Smart Folks Who Are Kind of Dumb in Specific Ways

How do you measure someone's intelligence? Is it their education and the degrees that they’ve earned? Is it their accomplishments in their field — especially relating to medicine and science? Do they lose any points by saying or thinking something massively stupid? Bill Gates, for example, thought that SPAM would be a thing of the past by now. The guy considered the father of quantum mechanics couldn't explain how a battery works. Elon Musk has earnestly proposed that we nuke Mars in an attempt to warm it up faster — and tanked Twitter quicker than anyone could have ever imagined. And that’s not even getting into the names of his children.

So, the next time you’re feeling like you’ll never be as smart as some of the great minds of history, just remember: Many of those great minds are plenty dumb in their own unique ways, too…

31 Still waiting for that solution, Bill

Bill Gates on SPAM: 2004 CRACKED.COM Gates had some high hopes for spam filters back in 2004: Two years from now, spam will be solved. Не envisioned a system where users would charge spammers a small fee for every email. — Source: 14 Smart People Who Said And Did Utterly Dumb Things

30 Atari kind of beefed it with Apple

Atari to Jobs and Wozniak: 1976 ATARI® CRACKED.COM When Jobs offered to sell him the rights to his personal computer, Atari president Joe Keenan said get out of here, you stink, and we're not going to buy your product. — Source: 14 Smart People Who Said And Did Utterly Dumb Things

29 To be fair, can YOU explain how a battery works?

CRACKED.COM Werner Heisenberg, father of quantum mechanics, nearly failed his PhD thesis defense because he couldn't explain how a battery worked. — Source: 17 Geniuses Who Are Surprisingly Stupid (In One, Glaring Way)

28 Jane Austen relied a lot on editing

Jane Austen may have been a good writer, but she was really bad at, um... writing. When literature expert Kathryn Sutherland examined her handwritten manuscripts and letters from her publisher, it was found that Austen's writing was riddled with spelling errors and bad grammar. Austen relied a lot on her publisher's editing, and her earlier works that were untouched by the publisher were more inconsistent in terms of grammar, punctuation and spelling. GRACKED.COM — Source: 17 Geniuses Who Are Surprisingly Stupid (In One, Glaring Way)

27 Socrates didn't trust writing

Believe it or not, Socrates had a marked distrust of writing, fearing it would cause forgetfulness and only a semblance of wisdom. According to him, readers would have learned nothing and they will be tiresome company. CRACKED.COM — Source: 17 Geniuses Who Are Surprisingly Stupid (In One, Glaring Way)

26 Benjamin Harrison was afraid of light switches

After electric lights were installed in the White House for the first time, President Benjamin Harrison was afraid of getting shocked by the light switches. Refusing to touch them, Harrison left the White House staff in charge of turning the lights on and off. CRACKED.COM — Source: 17 Geniuses Who Are Surprisingly Stupid (In One, Glaring Way)

25 Don't take baths in volcanos. Seriously.

Empedocles' bathing habits: 400 BC CRACKED.COM Не was a prolific scientist, philosopher - and blasphemer. Не proposed that light had a speed limit, the earth was spherical, and that, being a god, he could take a dip in a volcano. (Не could not). — Source: 14 Smart People Who Said And Did Utterly Dumb Things

24 We all know Tom Cruise's whole deal

Tom Cruise on antidepressants: 2005 THIS IS WHAT SCIENTOLOGISTS ACTUALLY BELIEVE CRACKED.COM The guy who believes that our bodies are riddled with ancient alien ghosts would have us believe that there is no such thing as a chemical imbalance in a body. — Source: 14 Smart People Who Said And Did Utterly Dumb Things

23 Tycho Brahe had interesting dinner entertainment

Tycho Brahe's dinner entertainment: 16TH CENTURY CRACKED.COM The groundbreaking Danish astronomer hired a dwarf to dress like a clown and just kind of hang out under his dining table. This was a full-time staff position. — Source: 14 Smart People Who Said And Did Utterly Dumb Things

22 Mayim Bialik spoke too soon

Mayim Bialik on placenta eating: 2012 CRACKED.COM The PhD-holding actress, who is often cited as evidence that The Big Bang Theory is a smart show for smart people, didn't research camels or a single aquatic mammal before writing human beings are the only mammals that have chosen not to ingest their placenta... end of story. — Source: 14 Smart People Who Said And Did Utterly Dumb Things

21 There's nothing in the rules that says dogs can't play baskeball!

Lord Byron's dorm room loophole: 1805 CRACKED.COM The acclaimed poet tried to bring his dog to Trinity College with him, but was told it was against the rules. Не found an Air Bud-style loophole and insisted bears weren't not allowed. Не bought a bear to live in his dorm with him. Не took him on walks and everything. — Source: 14 Smart People Who Said And Did Utterly Dumb Things

20 Pythagoras had some weirder theorems.

Pythagoras' weird religion: 6TH CENTURY BC CRACKED.COM The mathematician (and bane of seventh graders in perpetuity) actually started up a weird little cult-like religion. Among his commandments were to eat a vegan diet, but do NOT eat beans, and NEVER let a swallow nest under your roof! — Source: 14 Smart People Who Said And Did Utterly Dumb Things

19 Ben Carson is pretty out to lunch

U.S. SECRETARY OF HOUSING AND URBAN DEVELOPMENT, ONE-TIME PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE, AND BRILLIANT NEUROSURGEON BEN CARSON BELIEVES: THE EGYPTIAN PYRAMIDS WERE BUILT TO STORE GRAIN; SAME-SEX MARRIAGE IS A NEO-MARXIST PLOT TO DESTROY AMERICA AND ESTABLISH A NEW WORLD ORDER; DARWIN WAS UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF SATAN WHEN НЕ COOKED UP THE IDEA OF EVOLUTION. CRACKED.COM — Source: 17 Geniuses Who Are Surprisingly Stupid (In One, Glaring Way)

18 Kevin O'Leary isn't a Jeopardy champion

Kevin O'Leary has a great nose for business. Luckily for him, general knowledge isn't a category for investments. $12,800 -$2,800 KEVIN AARON Celebrity ty Mr.Wonserfull In 2015, he was a contestant on Celebrity Jeopardy! and bombed, correctly answering only a few (music) questions. CRACKED.CON — Source: 17 Geniuses Who Are Surprisingly Stupid (In One, Glaring Way)

17 Vitamin C, for the record, does not cure cancer

Famous chemist, two-time Nobel laureate Linus Pauling, had an optimistic idea that vitamin с cures terminal cancer. Pauling promoted vitamin с as a cure for cancer until his death. Не died from prostate cancer. GRACKED.COM — Source: 17 Geniuses Who Are Surprisingly Stupid (In One, Glaring Way)

16 Maybe you don't have to be THAT smart to be good at chess?

Former World Chess Champion Garry Kasparov promotes a controversial version of world history called the New Chronology, according to which... CRACKED.COM - All classical and medieval literature is a forgery produced after the Renaissance. - Troy, Jerusalem, Constantinople and London were originally one and the same. - The Old and New Testaments describe the same events. - Jesus did exist but was also the Prophet Elijah and Pope Gregory VII, and lived in the 11th century in what is now Istanbul. — Source: 17 Geniuses Who Are Surprisingly Stupid (In One, Glaring Way)

15 Real Dumb Time with Bill Maher

GRACKED.COM Bill Maher has a Cornell University degree in English and History. He's also an anti-vaxxer and germ theory denialist. When Robert Kennedy Jr. was on Real Time to spread the vaccines cause autism myth, Bill said he applauds Kennedy for championing this. Of germ theory, Bill said it's not the invading germs, it's the terrain. (Ie. Lifestyle.) — Source: 17 Geniuses Who Are Surprisingly Stupid (In One, Glaring Way)

14 Patton's masculinity maybe took it a little too far

General Patton was a genius when it came to war but dumb in his belief that shell shock wasn't a legitimate condition. Не was even reprimanded for slapping two shell shocked soldiers. CRACKED.COM — Source: 17 Geniuses Who Are Surprisingly Stupid (In One, Glaring Way)

13 Oh no, Nikola...

Patron saint of science nerds NIKOLA TESLA thought eugenics would be the wave of the future. In a 1935 magazine article Tesla wrote: The year 2100 will see eugenics universally established. Не went on to say A century from now it will no more occur to a normal person to mate with a person eugenically unfit than to marry a habitual criminal. CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Smart People Who Said And Did Utterly Dumb Things

12 David Petraeus was bad at cheating

David Petraeus' insecurity: 2012 CRACKED.COM The director of the CIA started hooking up with his biographer, and thought he could keep the whole thing secret by... sharing a Gmail account with his mistress. It's not cheating if you're only sexting in drafts, we guess? — Source: 14 Smart People Who Said And Did Utterly Dumb Things

11 David Bowie was not a fortune teller

David Bowie on the future of copyright: 2002 CRACKED.COM Bowie predicted some major changes to the music industry. While he didn't see Songs of Innocence being force fed to every iPhone user, he did say I'm fully confident that copyright, for instance, will no longer exist in 10 years. — Source: 14 Smart People Who Said And Did Utterly Dumb Things

10 Elizabeth Fleishmann knew the importance of optics... We guess?

Elizabeth Fleischmann's marketing prowess: 1905 CRACKED.COM The self-taught radiophotographer opened California's first X-ray lab. People already knew that prolonged exposure was unhealthy, but she insisted on not wearing protective gear, so she wouldn't freak out her clients. She died at 46 from a bear attack. Just kidding, it was radiation poisoning. — Source: 14 Smart People Who Said And Did Utterly Dumb Things

9 Michael, that's not how this works.

Michael Douglas on cunnilingus: 2013 CRACKED.COM Не stated, correctly, that HPV can be transmitted via oral sex. But he should have bitten his tongue before he made this baffling addendum: cunnilingus is also the best cure for it. — Source: 14 Smart People Who Said And Did Utterly Dumb Things

8 Maybe consult the Emperor first?

Yukio Mishima's attempted coup: 1970 CRACKED.COM The young, wildly successful Japanese author spent two years recruiting a cult of 4 extremely fit teens to restore power to the Japanese Emperor. Unfortunately, the Emperor was a) not consulted, re: the coup, and b) super not interested in regaining any sort of political power. — Source: 14 Smart People Who Said And Did Utterly Dumb Things

7 Michelangelo lived like a Ninja Turtle

Michelangelo's bathing habits: 16TH CENTURY CRACKED COM The brilliant painter reportedly slept in his clothes so frequently that the skin came away, like a snake's when his boots were removed. — Source: 14 Smart People Who Said And Did Utterly Dumb Things

6 Hey Elon? Let's cool it on the ideas

Elon Musk has plenty of genius ideas ...but nuking Mars isn't one of them In 2015 Musk proposed that we should nuke Mars to make it warm up faster. Nuking a planet is NEVER a good idea! CRACKED.COM — Source: 17 Geniuses Who Are Surprisingly Stupid (In One, Glaring Way)

5 Mark Twain wasn't great with money

Mark Twain kept making risky business investments, even after they ruined him over and over. Не said his nature was to speculate in something. CRACKED.COM — Source: 17 Geniuses Who Are Surprisingly Stupid (In One, Glaring Way)

4 Henry Ford didn't need no stinkin' blueprints

Henry Ford couldn't read blueprints. Не built machines by hand, without a design. CRACKED.COM — Source: 17 Geniuses Who Are Surprisingly Stupid (In One, Glaring Way)

3 Alexander Graham Bell had some points

Famous inventor Alexander Graham Bell was weak at math because he found it boring and saw no point in studying it. CRACKED.COM — Source: 17 Geniuses Who Are Surprisingly Stupid (In One, Glaring Way)

2 Aristotle had weird teeth theories

ARISTOTLE BELIEVED WOMEN HAD LESS TEETH THAN MEN. Не was married twice, but it never occurred to him to check that fact by himself by simply asking either of them to open their mouths. CRACKED.COM — Source: 17 Geniuses Who Are Surprisingly Stupid (In One, Glaring Way)

1 Beethoven wasn't great with numbers.

Beethoven was so bad at math, he couldn't track his spending and income. Не left school early, and never learned how to multiply and divide. CRACKED.COM — Source: 17 Geniuses Who Are Surprisingly Stupid (In One, Glaring Way)

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