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33 Weird News Stories We Missed

By:: Cracked Writers; Timon DJ Spajic

December 01, 2021

33 Weird News Stories We Missed

Weird stuff is happening all over the world, all the dang time. Maybe even right now! In Berlin, someone is eating their bus ticket, and no one's giving them a funny look. In the UK, members of the royal family are probably debating their genetics; specifically, how it has affected their sweat glands. Many French motorists are safely, happily driving around in cars that would have otherwise been burned… thanks to the pandemic, for some reason? A woman in Ontario is celebrating an impressive legal win that stems from a candy bar. Hong Kong police are currently fighting colonialism with the power of goosestepping. Shell is rethinking its carbon capture plan after it managed to – if you can even believe it – make the problem worse. One woman in South Dakota may currently be in prison after faking a kidnapping to escape her husband; meanwhile, an Italian man tried to escape his spouse by attempting to get into prison. All that and more:

33

WEIRD WORLD You can now get on public transport in Berlin with an edible hemp ticket. Well, maybe you can - the tickets are printed in a limited-edition run, and they contain no illegal substances, but the paper they're printed on is coated in hemp oil from the cannabis plant. CRACKED.COM — Source

32

WEIRD WORLD In Florida, a 9-year-old succesfully protected her mom from a would-be thief. The woman was grocery shopping when someone came up and tried to steal her purse, but her daughter punched him in the head several times. CRACKED.COM — Source

31

WEIRD WORLD A billionaire in Utah left the LDS church and donated to an LGBTQ group. Specifically, he donated $600k - which is kind of chump change for him, but it's still pretty welcome, all things considered, especially since he stated the church is actively and currently doing harm in the world, including to LGBTQ people?ACKED.COM — Source

30

WEIRD WORLD A guy in England took his family to a Christmas dinner at an Indian restaurant. Which wouldn't be news ... but he apparently complained that the restaurant didn't serve traditional Christmas fare. What an absolute farce of a restaurant - Xmas Dinner ruined for our children he CRACKED.COM posted in a review. — Source

29

WEIRD WORLD A member of the British Royal family had to prove that he couldn't sweat. To prove in court that his alibi (for not having sex with someone) actually checked out, Prince Andrew had to produce documents proving he can't sweat. CRACKED.COM — Source

28

WEIRD WORLD The pandemic brought one good thing to France: fewer burned cars. Normally, lots of cars get torched on New Year's Eve in France - but, due to the pandemic, that number was way lower. CRACKED.COM — Source

27

WEIRD WORLD There are now plans to power the world's largest coal port with renewable energy. And the port will be 100% powered by renewable energy, no less - the Port of Newcastle, in Australia, says that's part of a plan to decarbonize the whole business by 2040. CRACKED.COM — Source

26

WEIRD WORLD After three years, the city of Ontario failed to fire a woman over a protein bar. She allegedly stole the $2.99 protein bar in 2018 from a convenience store, so they fired her - and it took her three torturous years to get her job back. CRACKED.COM — Source

25

WEIRD WORLD To show patriorism, police in Hong Kong are now going to be goose-stepping. Apparently, it's a switch from the marching drills they used to do, and which dates back to British colonial times. CRACKED.COM — Source

24

WEIRD WORLD A young woman faked her own kidnapping to get away from her husband. adidas - - THE pullvaryt Pizza® Domino's Fresh Arrives ade sh So she staged the whole thing at Domino's Pizza in Sioux Falls, where she worked. The whole plan failed, and she was arrested on multiple charges. CRACKED.COM — Source

23

WEIRD WORLD Tucker Carlson criticized Less Sexy M&Ms, and got ridiculed for it. Не ranted, M&M's will not be satisfied until every last cartoon character is deeply unappealing and totally androgynous. Until the moment you wouldn't want to have a drink with any one of them. That's the CRACKED.COM goal. — Source

22

WEIRD WORLD It turns out that Shell's carbon capture facility in Canada doesn't really work. That is, it does capture carbon - but it emits way more carbon than it captures, according to a new study. CRACKED.COM — Source

21

WEIRD WORLD In Italy, a man tried to go to prison SO he wouldn't have to be with his wife. The 30-year-old, who lives just outside Rome, was no longer able to cope with the forced cohabitation with his wife, according to a police statement. CRACKED.COM — Source

20

WEIRD WORLD In Atlanta, a woman had to pay an ER bill despite, uh, not going to the ER. Well, she was in the waiting room for a while, and then left after some time - apparently, that was enough for the hospital to charge her $700. CRACKED.COM — Source

19

WEIRD WORLD A 105-year-old just set a world record in running (but she's not thrilled about it). NOT - TYE INB IND You'd think she'd be over the moon, but she says she wanted to do it in less than a minute. CRACKED.COM — Source

18

A guy who claimed to have proof of voter WEIRD WORLD fraud turned out to have voted twice. W REPUBLICAN COMMERATION OFFICIAL BALLOT 900ml ABSENTEE This was in the 2020 presidential election I I Instructions a by I L I : only choice P A of - I I I The STATE TREAGUEE M F person / I 2 - I -whatever else you can say, at least he NO I I I / INSTITUTO Initiations UNA 1 i I . : Type I BRAS مصر I A أ I ***** I I The I 3 I I y I — Source

17

WEIRD WORLD In Boise, Idaho, a book was returned 110 long years after it got checked out. We all went, 'Hmm that's weird. There is no record of this in our catalog. It says November 8 of 1911, so obviously, it was pretty overdue, said library assistant Anne Marie Martin. CRACKED.COM — Source

16

WEIRD WORLD A mayor in Georgia lost his job because of a giant chicken, but he stands by it. It's a massive steel structure that was supposed to be the world's tallest topiary, but everyone hated it. CRACKED.COM — Source

15

WEIRD WORLD San Francisco is helping its drug shops compete successfully against street dealers. The city is temporarily dropping its cannabis tax, so that dispensaries won't have to charge higher prices for weed than dealers. CRACKED.COM — Source

14

WEIRD WORLD A guy stopped by the Sheriff's Office to check if he was wanted... ... and he was. SAMPLE COLMI SHERIFF The 514172 The visit really did not go well for him, and he ended up in jail - it's kind of unclear what he thought would happen if, indeed, he was wanted. CRACKED.COM — Source

13

WEIRD WORLD A guy burned his house in Maryland to get rid of snakes, and failed in his task. Не tried to get the snakes, and accidentally set the house on fire - but it turns out some of the snakes likely survived, while the house was destroyed. CRACKED.COM — Source

12

WEIRD WORLD A singer at a QAnon conference forgot the words to the National WWGTWGA WHERE Anthem. WE GO ONE WHO ALL It was a conference at the Dealey Plaza in Dallas, Texas, that gathered hundreds of QAnon members, too. CRACKED.COM — Source

11

WEIRD WORLD They've announced an emergency in the Suez Canal because of one ship. It's Ever Given, the ship that already blocked it once -now it's back, with an even heavier load. CRACKED.COM — Source

10

WEIRD WORLD We found out that Keanu Reeves wore Dolly Parton's famous Playboy outfit. It had been designed by Keanu's mom Patricia Taylor - a costume designer - and, when Dolly was done with it, Keanu wore it as a Halloween costume. CRACKED.COM — Source

9

WEIRD WORLD In Hawaii, a stream suddenly started smelling like the inside of a pub. The distinctive aroma of beer was ultimately traced to a spill at a local beverage company's warehouse. CRACKED.COM — Source

8

WEIRD WORLD In Illinois, they put a convicted arsonist in charge of a fire department. PLATFORM 1 WORSBURG There were high emotions and high drama at the meeting where that guy was made acting chief, apparently. CRACKED.COM — Source

7

WEIRD WORLD Apparently, NASA is talking to theologians about sentient aliens. Specifically, NASA is interested in what religion has to say about aliens if, indeed, any are found, and it's gathered 24 theologians in a project to explore that very question. CRACKED.COM — Source

6

WEIRD WORLD Singer Omarion recently had to declare that he's a person, not a virus. OMARION In TikTok videos from January 1, he said Hi, this is Omarion. I am an artist -not a variant. CRACKED.COM — Source

5

WEIRD WORLD In Russia, insults to the Prophet Muhammad violate religious freedom. That's what Putin says, anyway - according to him, insulting the Prophet isn't covered by the right to free expression. CRACKED.COM — Source

4

WEIRD WORLD Two lawyers arguing against the vaccine mandate got COVID. Which means that, in their arguments before the Supreme Court, they'll have to appear remotely - given their positive status, they have no other choice. CRACKED.COM — Source

3

WEIRD WORLD Apparently, the plot of Home Alone kind of happened in real life. In Arizona, parents left an 11-year-old at home for two weeks, and he didn't go to school in that time, according to sheriff's deputies. CRACKED.COM — Source

2

WEIRD WORLD Boris Johnson said no-one told him lockdown parties were a no-no. That was his defense against criticism for holding garden parties during lockdown, apparently. CRACKED.COM — Source

1

WEIRD WORLD Final Fantasy hentai was broadcast during an Italian Senate meeting. The Senate held a virtual meeting, and somebody managed to hijack it and stream rendered hardcore porn featuring Final Fantasy 7's Tifa Lockheart. CRACKED.COM — Source

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