5 Sports Rules Designed for the Unlikeliest of Circumstances

Ah yes, it’s the Ken rule. We made that because of Ken

Authors: By Ryan Menezes
Published: June 02, 2023
Comments: 0

13 Hometown Heroes With Complicated Relationships with Their Hometown

The Clash said it best… “Should I stay or should I go?”

Authors: By Andres Diplotti, Jay L'Ecuyer
Published: June 02, 2023
Comments: 2

This ‘That ‘70s Show’ Joke Hits Very Differently After Danny Masterson’s Rape Conviction

An out-of-context screenshot from the first-season episode ‘Eric’s Burger Job’ is making the rounds on Twitter

Authors: By Ian Garner
Published: June 01, 2023
Comments: 3

These Are the Facts: It’s 15 Trivia Tidbits About ‘Animaniacs’

Including the revelation that there’s a fourth Warner sibling

Authors: By Zanandi Botes
Published: June 02, 2023
Comments: 1

5 of the Most Disgusting Ways People Have Tried to Predict the Future

You’re one burned sheep’s liver away from hitting the lottery

Authors: By Eli Yudin
Published: June 02, 2023
Comments: 1

42 Horrifying Human Body Facts We Wish We Never Learned

By:: Cracked Writers

August 01, 2021

42 Horrifying Human Body Facts We Wish We Never Learned

Do you have a human body? Do you ever feel that it's a horrible aberration that defies the will of God? You may be right!

42

42 Horrifying Human Body Facts We Wish We Never Learned — Source: 14 Fascinating, Super-Disturbing Facts About The Human Body

41

YOU SHED ABOUT EIGHT POUNDS 13.6 kg] OF SKIN A YEAR. So where does the shed skin go? The dust that collects on your tables, TV, window sills, and those picture frames that are so hard to clean, is mostly made up of your own dead skin. IN OTHER WORDS, YOUR HOUSE IS FILLED WITH FORMER BITS OF YOURSELF. CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Fascinating, Super-Disturbing Facts About The Human Body

40

42 Horrifying Human Body Facts We Wish We Never Learned — Source: 14 Fascinating, Super-Disturbing Facts About The Human Body

39

YOUR STOMACH IS SECRETLY TRYING TO KILL ITSELF The stomach secretes hydrochloric acid to digest food and disinfect itself from other unwanted particles. DANGER ACID The acid is so strong that it can digest the stomach itself. As a countermeasure, the stomach has to re-grow its inner layer every three to four days. CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Fascinating, Super-Disturbing Facts About The Human Body

38

PREGNANCY BRAIN IS REAL. Research has shown that pregnant women actually lose a small part of the brain responsible for concentration and decision-making. Scientists think this happens SO that the brain can prepare itself to focus more on the needs of the baby inside the womb. CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Fascinating, Super-Disturbing Facts About The Human Body

37

THE GOOEY STUFF COMING OUT OF YOUR NOSE MIGHT BE YOUR BRAIN'S CEREBROSPINAL FLUID (GSF). CSF surrounds the brain, contained within a lining called the dura. Sometimes, the fluid may leak through a hole into your sinuses, and run out of your nose like a river of clear snot. CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Fascinating, Super-Disturbing Facts About The Human Body

36

MEN'S NIPPLES CAN BE STIMULATED TO PRODUCE MILK. INTRODUCING THE RIGHT HORMONES, ESPECIALLY PROLACTIN, CAN MAKE THIS POSSIBLE. There have been numerous cases of this, the most notable being WWII camp survivors who started lactating when they were given food after months of starvation. CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Fascinating, Super-Disturbing Facts About The Human Body

35

THE HUMAN HEAD REMAINS CONSCIOUS FOR SEVERAL SECONDS AFTER IT'S BEEN CHOPPED OFF. THE BRAIN RECEIVES NO TRAUMA FROM A CLEAN DECAPITATION, AND MAY CONTINUE TO FUNCTION UNTIL BLOOD LOSS CAUSES UNCONSCIOUSNESS AND DEATH. THERE HAVE BEEN MANY EXAMPLES IN HISTORY WHERE A SEVERED HEAD CHANGED FACIAL EXPRESSIONS AND EVEN TRIED TO TALK! CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Fascinating, Super-Disturbing Facts About The Human Body

34

42 Horrifying Human Body Facts We Wish We Never Learned — Source: 14 Fascinating, Super-Disturbing Facts About The Human Body

33

YOUR BODY IS A MANUFACTURING MACHINE OF SNOT AND SALIVA (AND MANY OTHER THINGS]. On average, your body makes about a liter and a half of snot in a day, and we swallow most of it without even noticing. Also, our body makes enough saliva to fill two swimming pools in a lifetime. CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Fascinating, Super-Disturbing Facts About The Human Body

32

YOUR BODY IS HOME TO MILLIONS OF FOREIGN BACTERIAL SPECIES. According to new research, your mouth has more bacteria living in it than there are human beings on Earth. Even your tiny little navel has an average of 67 distinct bacterial species living in it. CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Fascinating, Super-Disturbing Facts About The Human Body

31

GUYS, IF YOU HAVE AN ORGASM BUT NO SEMEN COMES OUT, SEE A DOCTOR. There is a type of medical condition in men called retrograde ejaculation in which they feel complete orgasm but... no semen comes out of their body. Instead, it goes back into the bladder, so the next time they urinate, their pee is all foamy. CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Fascinating, Super-Disturbing Facts About The Human Body

30

IF YOU THINK CANCER IS THE MOST TERRIFYING TUMOR, THINK AGAIN. These horrifying tumors, called teratomas, can grow real teeth, hair, bones, intestines, and more. Even the word teratoma literally translates to monster swelling ill Greek. SWEET DREAMS! CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Fascinating, Super-Disturbing Facts About The Human Body

29

YOUR BODY NEARLY SHUTS DOWN TO PROTECT YOU FROM DROWNING. It's called the diving reflex, which influences many bodily functions when you're submerged in water... including up to a 10% reduction in heart rate, and redirecting blood from the skin and limbs to more vital organs like the brain and heart. CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Fascinating, Super-Disturbing Facts About The Human Body

28

CRACKED.COM ESCAPING GUT BLOOD GIVES YOU BUTTERFLIES IN YOUR STOMACH. Sometimes your reptile brain senses an anxious situation, but can't differentiate between a Tinder date and a hungry jaguar. So it trips the fight-or-flight alarm, causing an adrenaline rush that shunts blood away from the gut and into the limbs (causing the butterflies). It also relaxes the sphincter, causing loose bowels. So the next time you crap yourself during an intense Pixar scene, know that it's just science! — Source: Scientific Reasons for B.S Things Our Bodies Do

27

CRACKED.COM CHIPS TRICK YOUR BRAIN SO YOU CAN KEEP EATING WITHOUT FEELING FULL. The brain fights overeating by making each bite of the same food successively less pleasurable. But chips have a complex bouquet, lacking a single flavor to halt binge-eating.. And they're devoured so quickly that the brain gets confused and thinks they must be low in calories. So savor that cool ranch Dorito like it's fine wine, then spit it in a bucket like a true connoisseur. — Source: Scientific Reasons for B.S Things Our Bodies Do

26

GRACKED.COM IT'S TOUGH FOR OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE TO STICK TO DIETS BECAUSE OF THEIR TASTE BUDS. Weight gain leads to an impaired sense of taste, and a recent study may have found out why: inflammation of the taste buds. This results in desensitization, and may be why obese people have trouble subsisting on salads and lean meats. Which proves that we still haven't figured out how to make healthy food taste good. — Source: Scientific Reasons for B.S Things Our Bodies Do

25

CRACKED.COM YOU GET CARSICK BECAUSE YOUR BODY AND BRAIN ARE ARGUING. During a car ride, your eyes recognize movement while your brain thinks you're just sitting. Your thalamus comes to the conclusion that you're being poisoned, and hits the gag button to clear it from your system. If you're driving, your brain is getting more information, which is why drivers don't get sick. — Source: Scientific Reasons for B.S Things Our Bodies Do

24

THAT ACHY FEELING WHEN YOU'RE SICK IS CAUSED BY YOU, NOT THE VIRUS. White blood cells are part of the body's defense system, but also cause sore throats. They also produce chemical messengers that travel through the body and designate targets for the immune system. The process causes achiness, which may be a way of alerting you to injuries where the infection began. That's right, your aches and pains are your body's own fault. CRACKED.COM — Source: Scientific Reasons for B.S Things Our Bodies Do

23

PEOPLE COUGH AT CONCERTS BECAUSE WE'RE SOCIAL CREATURES. The average human coughs 16 times a day, but is twice as likely to do so during a concert. Why? Because coughs are likely to erupt during calmer moments, and then cascade across an auditorium as people subconsciously mimic each other. It's like clapping, but with more phlegm. CRACKED.COM — Source: Scientific Reasons for B.S Things Our Bodies Do

22

ONE NOSTRIL ALWAYS GETS STUFFED UP TO KEEP THINGS MOIST. In addition to smelling, the nose warms and humidifies air to make it friendly for the lungs. Each nostril individually controls airflow by constricting erectile tissues (it's similar to the tissues you thought of giggling when you heard the word erectile). One is always more stuffed than the other to keep each side adequately moistened. So you can finally stop licking the inside of your CRACKED.COM nose and grossing everyone out. — Source: Scientific Reasons for B.S Things Our Bodies Do

21

PAPER CUTS HURT SO MUCH BECAUSE THEY'RE THE PERFECT STORM OF PAIN. Paper cuts inflict more pain than most injuries because fingertips are full of nerve endings. And even the most smooth-edged paper is as jagged as a sling blade at the microscopic level. Instead of delivering a clean cut, it tears open a sloppy wound that doesn't bleed or clot, leaving it exposed. This summer, Jigsaw's getting a sequel, and in it, he has a ream of printer paper. CRACKED.COM — Source: Scientific Reasons for B.S Things Our Bodies Do

20

COFFEE WREAKING HAVOC ON YOUR SYSTEM? BLAME YOUR HORMONES. If you're a productive member of society who rises at 6:30 a.m., the sweet spot for guzzling your morning cup of Joe is between 9:30 and 11:30. Otherwise your cortisol levels may peak, and you could wind up with jitteriness and/or insomnia. So there are actual science reasons to take a midmorning coffee break. CRACKED.COM — Source: Scientific Reasons for B.S Things Our Bodies Do

19

FILTH, NOT CHLORINE, TURNS EYES RED IN A POOL. Chlorine has been unjustly blamed for the way your eyes redden after an afternoon flapping around in a swimming pool. What's actually making peepers burn are biological agents like pee, poop, sweat, and dirt. Delightful. Urine can also combine with chlorine to form noxious chemicals, responsible for irritation and that distinct pool odor. Think about that the next time you consider plopping junior into a pool. CRACKED.COM — Source: Scientific Reasons for B.S Things Our Bodies Do

18

ASPARAGUS MAKES YOUR PEE SMELL NASTY BECAUSE OF SULFUR. The curse of asparagus pee is caused by the appropriately named asparagusic acid (found only in asparagus), which is believed to spawn sulfurous, smelling compounds called mercaptans as your body breaks down the vegetable. But if you're lucky, you're one of the literal genetic mutants who don't smell the sulfur. CRACKED.COM — Source: Scientific Reasons for B.S Things Our Bodies Do

17

COLD WEATHER MAKES YOU PEE FOR SURVIVAL. Cold diuresis is when your nervous system tries to stave off hypothermia by causing capillaries in the limbs to constrict and reroute blood to the more essential organs. The extra blood now swirling within the abdomen prompts the kidneys to release the liquid already there. Rescue teams should really be trained to recognize yellow snow angels from the air. CRACKED.COM — Source: Scientific Reasons for B.S Things Our Bodies Do

16

DRIVING MAKING YOU SLEEPY? BLAME THE VIBRATION. Your car is literally hypnotizing you. About 20% of fatal crashes are caused by fatigue, which can creep up after just 15 minutes of driving. The low-frequency vibrations inherent to vehicular travel mimic and synchronize with the brain's theta waves. Theta waves are generated during sleep. CRACKED.COM — Source: Scientific Reasons for B.S Things Our Bodies Do

15

CRACKED.COM Animals can sometimes exhibit psychiatric symptoms. Although thanks to our genes, only humans are known to suffer from animals schizonhrosaving — Source: 15 Scientific Reasons Humans Are The Weirdest of All Animals

14

Making art is uniquely human. A chimp can use a paintbrush but it's flailing rather than creating. CRACK Human artistic expression is linked to language development and the unique ability to convey abstract thought. — Source: 15 Scientific Reasons Humans Are The Weirdest of All Animals

13

CRACKED.COM Of all primates, humans sleep the least. However, the sleep we do get is higher quality. Scientists believe sleeping less but more deeply stems from our ancestors leaving the trees in favor of sleeping on the ground. — Source: 15 Scientific Reasons Humans Are The Weirdest of All Animals

12

In nature, mammals don't drink the milk of other animals. Humans are the only mammals who do. CRACKED.COM — Source: 15 Scientific Reasons Humans Are The Weirdest of All Animals

11

Humans are the only primates known to SLEEPWALK. So far there have been zero recorded cases of a non-human primate sleepwalking despite it being relatively common in humans. CRACKED.COM — Source: 15 Scientific Reasons Humans Are The Weirdest of All Animals

10

Humans are the only land animals that go through menopause. While most other species are able to reproduce until they die, humans are unique because we live long lives even after we're unable to reproduce anymore. The only other species that go through menopause are killer whales and short-finned pilot whales. CRACKED.COM — Source: 15 Scientific Reasons Humans Are The Weirdest of All Animals

9

Humans are the only species that faint at the sight of blood. The reaction is called vasovagal syncope and is absent among animals. The cause for the phenomenon is not clearly known, but a theory suggests it's the body's overkill effort to get you to chill out. CRACKED.COM — Source: 15 Scientific Reasons Humans Are The Weirdest of All Animals

8

Humans are the only primates withoute a penis bone. DSQUARED2 DSQUARED2 The penis bone (also known as baculum) increases a male's chance of having offspring by making sexual intercourse last longer. But because our species doesn't have much mating rivalry and is mostly monogamous, evolution decided to leave actual bones out of our boning. CRACKED.com — Source: 15 Scientific Reasons Humans Are The Weirdest of All Animals

7

42 Horrifying Human Body Facts We Wish We Never Learned — Source: 15 Scientific Reasons Humans Are The Weirdest of All Animals

6

Humans are naturally much more altruistic than other animals. A study shows that although most primates have the tendency to collaborate, they mostly do SO in order to gain something. Humans, however, have a natural tendency to help others even without the prospect of gaining anything. CRACKED.COM — Source: 15 Scientific Reasons Humans Are The Weirdest of All Animals

5

CRACKED.co COM Humans are a lot better at throwing things compared to primates. JOLD Although the shape of human hands are similar to the primates', we can throw stuff further and more accurately than they can. It is believed to be an evolutionary ATTANTIC trait inherited from our hunter-gatherer ancestors. At least we'll have something to brag about the next time we meet a chimp. — Source: 15 Scientific Reasons Humans Are The Weirdest of All Animals

4

Compared to other apes, humans are born incredibly early. While other apes are born around 70% mature, humans are born just 20% mature. In fact, our long childhoods are unique to us. This is because our upright stance and big brains made it harder for mothers to give birth, SO we just adapted to being born premature. CRACKED.COM — Source: 15 Scientific Reasons Humans Are The Weirdest of All Animals

3

SMILING TO EXPRESS HAPPINESS IS ALMOST COMPLETELY UNIQUE TO HUMANS. IN MOST OTHER SPECIES, SHOWING YOUR TEETH MEANS BACK THE HELL OFF. CRACKED.COM — Source: 15 Scientific Reasons Humans Are The Weirdest of All Animals

2

HUMANS ARE THE ONLY ANIMALS WITH PATENTLY WHITE EYES. Scientists speculate that the white of the eye, called the sclera, may be more visible because humans use their more for non-verbal communication. CRACKED.COM — Source: 15 Scientific Reasons Humans Are The Weirdest of All Animals

1

HUMAN WOMEN ARE THE ONLY PRIMATES WITH PERMANENT BREASTS. Other primates only have rounded breasts when they're breastfeeding. Human breasts are plump because they're full of fat. CRACKED.COM — Source: 15 Scientific Reasons Humans Are The Weirdest of All Animals

Recommended For Your Pleasure

13 Silly Celebrity Cameos Where They Literally Could Have Gotten Someone from a Temp Agency

Many cameos are fun and satisfying. These ain't them.

Authors: By Andres Diplotti, Jay L'Ecuyer
Published: June 01, 2023
Comments: 11

Elon Musk Says ‘The Essence of Comedy Is to Reveal the Truth’ While Twitter Helps Authoritarian Governments Conceal the Truth

Musk blasts liberals for being untruthful while he helps despots silence detractors

Authors: By Keegan Kelly
Published: June 01, 2023
Comments: 13

‘No One Can Really Get it Wrong Unless They Call Me Kenneth’: Eddie Izzard Clarifies Her Name and Pronouns

The comedian offered up the chillest, most graceful explanation of how she would like to be addressed

Authors: By Ian Garner
Published: June 01, 2023
Comments: 7

Aubrey Plaza’s Promotional Push for Big Milk Has Turned Completely Sour

April Ludgate soured on plant milk, but the vegans are punching back

Authors: By Keegan Kelly
Published: June 01, 2023
Comments: 7

Dana Carvey Refused to Let Robin Williams Anywhere Near the Church Lady

Carvey worried that Enid Strict would need a stretcher once Williams was done with her

Authors: By Keegan Kelly
Published: June 01, 2023
Comments: 3

The Downcycled Art That Turns Peter Griffin into Jesus Christ

Texas-based artist and tattooer Tyler Turnbull is painting ‘silly things into unloved art’

Authors: By Ian Garner
Published: June 01, 2023
Comments: 3