It takes a special kind of talent to get immediately fired, which is why we asked Cracked readers on Facebook, “What's the quickest you've seen a coworker get fired?” We were rather impressed with how many people tried to get away with doing hard drugs at work. Here are 17 stories of impressively quick incompetence, either from an employee or management…

TELL US NOW. Shane M. says, At the restaurant I worked there was legend of a girl who was working the sandwich station in brand new shoes and dribbled some mayo on them. So in front of the owner and a dining room full of customers, she took her shoe off, plopped it on the sandwich-making surface and started cleaning it off. It was her first and last shift. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Bill E. says, Some years ago I was in the first day of training and the company had issued US all laptops. We were told to open the file labeled 'training' on the desktop. Another new hire looked around him and said, 'I don't have a file on my desk.' He didn't know how to operate a computer and was looking for an actual file. They asked him to step out of the room. He never was seen again. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Justin M. says, I once hired a person who on their first day, refused to wear a uniform because they didn't like the color on them. They didn't even have a chance to clock in. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Jacob L. shares, Someone answered the phone at work, 'City morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em.' It was the district manager. He was sent home and never came back. CRACKED.COM

Get More of This!

Sign up for the One Cracked Fact newsletter to get even more craziness from our weird world sent to your inbox every day!

TELL US NOW. Megan B. says, I worked at a large retailer. A new girl got hired on 3rds with me stocking dairy. On first break she goes walking around no big deal. Got back to work, she is slightly late, still first day no problem. Management and the police come in the cooler. On break she and her husband stole a 55 in tv. She tells them it's fine, he is in the military so it not a big deal. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Dylan O. says, I worked in a supermarket when I was 18. New kid starts in my department, we do our best to make him welcome. Guy never says a word. Not one. Later that morning he's not around and I ask my supervisor where he was. Turns out he CAN speak, he replies. The store manager had asked him to collect some shopping carts from the car park, and this kid's first words of the morning were 'Get cked.' To the boss. Boom; out the door. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Geovanny P. says, I was an intern at a manufacturing company. On my first day a couple guys left for a bit in the middle of a quick safety workshop for new hires. They never came back. Later that day I asked if something happened. Turns out both of them left to smoke crack and got caught by the security chief. Somehow they thought it was ok to do it in the smoker's section right next to the building. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. One reader tells US, A guy started work that morning, a friend of a friend of his knew him and told everyone he once 'ate a seagull.' He left by noon since everyone was making seagull noises at him. No idea if he did eat one or not! CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Adam L. tells US, 30 minutes. I was training new guy in produce. I'm hands on with training, so I told him how to rotate produce, FIFO, while putting new product out. Supervisor didn't like the fact we were talking and fired new guy for talking to me. Not too long after I got fired too. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Kirk B. says, We had a new fork lift driver turn up. He supposedly had a few years experience, and our firm was desperate for FLTs. Anyway, he loads his first truck. Puts pallet number one on, no problem. Gets pallet number two, and instead of loading from the other side, he uses pallet two to shove pallet one over to the other side of the trailer. Again, no problem, some do it that way... Pallet three... he picks it up, and uses it to shove pallet two across. People start shouting him to stop, but too

TELL US NOW. Amber S. tells US, Heck, I've been fired from jobs I didn't know I had. They sent me a letter to let me know they fired me1 but like, it arrived before the 'you're hired' letter arrived. So uh. That's... special. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Nate K. shares, Friend of mine hired a graphic designer. Put him in a desk in the corner of the open office space. Spent Monday getting a computer set up for him, credentials, etc. Tuesday he gave new guy a non-urgent first project to work on while he got acclimated. GUY was quiet, sat in the corner and just did his own thing, no biggie. Thursday my friend checks in to see how the project is going. The new hire says, 'Yeah, I really haven't started. I suppose i should just leave.' And like that, he was

TELL US NOW. Frankie B. tells US, Years ago, a contractor turned up as an aircraft engineer, he went to the control board. They gave him the worst job on the aircraft, de-panelling the fin (the large upright tail, where you usually see company logo) 'Thats great he said, I'm an expert on fins.' Off he went, I caught up with him 10 minutes later. He was looking very, very puzzled, 'Are you alright there?' He said he couldn't find the Fin, so I asked 'How the hell are you an expert on fins, but you can't find that 20m

TELL US NOW. Craig B. says, Guy came to work the first day drunk and stoned. Made it 8 feet in the door. Could smell him 6 feet away. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. SNICKERS car Joe S. saw someone get fired for stealing a Coke from the vending machine. Someone put in coins, but the can was stuck. The guy putting the coin in went to call maintenance. Then someone went behind it and kicked the machine and took his Coke. HR found out and got they got canned. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Terry W. tells US, Dude didn't last until lunch. He took a tech job way out of the area he lived in. He took a 3 hour bus ride, was 5 minutes late his first day. HR didn't run his background check on time. Something came up in the BG check that disqualified him. Poor cat had to hop back on another 3 hour bus ride home. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Footer S. says, The President of a company I worked for was driving behind a person who flicked a cigarette out on the road. It turns out it was the person's first day starting. The President walked up to him in the parking lot and told him to leave. He never even got to punch in. CRACKED.COM
Forgot Password?