Welcome to Cracked VS, a feature where we pit two topics against each other and let ‘em duke it out. Today’s topic: mythology as depicted in pop culture VS mythology as actually observed by the ancients.

Mankind has always told stories, myths, and legends. The only difference today is that instead of inscribing our stories on papyrus scrolls, we tend to tell our famous tales on celluloid. Sometimes, though, we take our scrolled tales of ancient myth and legend and adapt them into films. However, when we make those adaptations, changes are often made in order to attract more viewers, be more kid-friendly so merchandise can be made, or just to fit our 21st century sensibilities.

While you shouldn’t expect movies, especially current ones, to teach you anything, it can be rather staggering to see how the pop culture versions of these ancient tales differ from the original stories. Here are some comparisons between the actual legends and their modernized takes.

THE REALITY OF MYTH Mythical stuff isn't really (you know what we mean) like Hollywood tells you. Loki: Not Thor's brother. Thor's hammer: A short thing. Dwarves and elves: Not different? Genies: Not friendly servants. Hercules: No beef with Hades. Amazons: Not beef with Ares. Mermaids: Not-singing sea dwellers. Unicorns: Normal animals. Pazuzu: Friend to children. Valhalla: Afterlife for half warriors.

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