15 Wildly Expensive Products You Can Buy Right Now (If You're a Rich Idiot)

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15 Wildly Expensive Products You Can Buy Right Now (If You're a Rich Idiot)

What’s the point of having tons of money, if people around you don’t know it? Having your needs covered, with enough margin to indulge yourself? You’re way past that -- you have reached a place where riches determine your place on society’s scoreboard. Except that it’s coarse to just post your bank statements -- you have to flaunt your wealth in an indirect way, by spending insane amounts on pointless luxuries. So for all the nouveaux riches among our readers (all two of them), we have these suggestions. (Feel free to Venmo us a fee for the service.)

YOU CAN BUY... A $58,500 Louis Vuitton skateboard. JOUIS X TON Only two were made, each boasting the brand's masterful craftsmanship and attention to detail. The board itself is only $2,660 - - this being a fancy bag company, the case is the really expensive thing. GRACKED.COM

Source: Input

YOU CAN BUY... A $3,490 gold dildo. When you're treating yourself, you're really treating yourself with this 24 carat gold va-jewel. Your order will be crafted specifically for you and your discerning... er, discernment.

Source: Lelo

YOU CAN BUY... A $94,000 diamond-studded chef knife. The 25 diamonds on the bog oak handle are guaranteed to give your salad a particularly well-to-do flavor. Don't you dare sully the blade with just regular onions or carrots, you culinary Philistine.

Source: Nesmuk

YOU CAN BUY... A $295 jump rope. Words like minimalist, innovative, and anodized aluminum let you know right from the jump that Hock's Rotator 2 Jump will give you high-society calves.

Source: Hock

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