Celebrities: they’re not just like us! Jesus, where did you ever get that idea? To be a celebrity is to experience some truly wild, incomprehensible things. Rolling in the circles of the rich and famous will lead to experiences your average working stiff simply does not see. There’s trickery, tomfoolery, foolhardiness, and a bunch of other euphemisms for grotesque and reprehensible behavior that have their etymological origins in the early 20th century just sitting there as, like, Chapter Two of any celeb’s memoir. We’ve dug through the wreckage so that you don’t have to, and fair warning: we didn’t come out the other side feeling great. All that said, maybe setting this stuff down in tablet and stone can help prevent further absurdities from afflicting future generations of vulnerable people. Or who knows? Maybe this is the capitalist merry-go-round upon which we are doomed to be stuck! Anyway, here are 11 facts from celebrity memoirs that’ll make you glad you didn’t leave the house today: 

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