14 Intriguing Last Words, Wishes, And Wills

Wellington Burt, you old scoundrel!
14 Intriguing Last Words, Wishes, And Wills
Add Cracked to Google

Your time could come at any moment. If you don't have a SICK zinger waiting in the wings, what was all this alive time for anyway?

Robert Louis Stevenson 1894 Stevenson left his pal Annie H. Ide his friggins birthday, as long as she promised to use it with moderation and humanity... the said birthday not being SO young as it once was.
Charles Millar 1928 Millar was a rich attorney who died without any heirs, So he promised half a million bucks to the Canadian who could birth the most babies in the decade following his death. Four moms hit the 9-baby mark, and had to split the winnings.

Houdini

Houdini 1929 He made his wife Bess promise to hold a seance once a year, in case he figured out how to communicate from the afterlife. They even developed a secret code before he died, so no imposters could show up and claim to be him.

Dusty Springfield

Dusty Springfield 1999 The pop singer made sure her cat was taken care of after her passing, demanding he be fed high-end baby food, have a bed made of Dusty's old clothes, listen to Dusty's records every night, and straight-up marry her friend's cat.
Napoleon 1821 The big man requested that they shave his head, make his hair into bracelets, and distribute them to his family and friends.

Chico Marx

Chico Marx 1961 The Marx brothers apparently tried to one-up each other's last words, but Chico's are probably the cheekiest. He said to his wife: Don't forget what I told you. Put in my coffin a deck of cards, a mashie niblick, and a pretty blonde.

Richard B. Mellon

Richard B. Mellon 1933 Mellon used the occasion of his deathbed to win an epic, 7-decade game of tag. His last words were reportedly last tag as he tapped his brother Andrew, who, humiliatingly, died it' 4 years later.
Anonymous Donor 1928 Someone donated a chunk of change to straight-up wipe out Britain's national debt. The amount has grown to f350 million, but there's a HUGE caveat: it can only be cashed in when it can cover the entire debt, which is currently right around f1.8 trillion.

Long-Term Trolling

Francis Douce 1834 After leaving a ton of antiques to a different museum, he left a mystery box to the British Museum, stipulating that it couldn't be opened for over 60 years. When it was opened in 1900, it was found to contain... almost nothing. Douce was a disgruntled ex-employee

Herbert Hoover

Herbert Hoover 1964 Herbie's last known written missive was a get-well note to Harry Truman, who'd just sustained a head injury in his own bathtub: Bathtubs are a menace to ex-presidents for as you may recall a bathtub rose up and fractured my vertebrae when I was in Venezuela.
Ankh-ren an ancient Egyptian) 1797 BG VVV Some of the oldest surviving wills date back to the 1700's BC, and hint at some very relatable squabbles. Ankh-ren left all his sh*t to his brother Uah, who in turn left it all to his wife Teta -- under the strict condition that

Wellington Burt’s Fortune

Wellington Burt 1919 Ol' Beefy Burt (no one called him that) was a Michigan millionaire who died in 1919, and decreed that his fortune could not be passed down until 21 years after his last grandchild died.
Bob Fosse 1987 The legendary choreographer (who popularized jazz hands) left $378.79 each for friends of his to go out and have dinner on me. Those friends included Dustin Hoffman and Liza Minnelli.
James Monroe 1831 The fifth president of the United States mourned the loose ends of his historic bromance with James Madison: I regret that I should leave this world without again beholding him.
Scroll down for the next article

Must Read

VIRAL ON CRACKED

A WEEKLY
NEWSLETTER OF
JOKES + TRIVIA

Forgot Password?