37 Punitive Facts About Crime and Law Enforcement That Probably Won’t Reform You in Any Way

Before you laugh at The Grandpa Gang, just know that they pulled off the biggest heist in English history
37 Punitive Facts About Crime and Law Enforcement That Probably Won’t Reform You in Any Way

This list is such a mixed bag of tricks that we don’t know what to tell you right now. It’s got proof that crime doesn’t pay while also showing you the ones who got away. It’s got some dark, brutal crimes that are nothing to joke about followed directly by a guy who was caught because of his tattoo depicting the crime he’d just committed. It also has some straight-up interesting stats and facts about crime in general, so yeah, we really broke the mold with this one. 

Here are the ups, downs and all-arounds about crime and the people who try to stop it…

The Wanted Poster That Also Doubled As a Cookie

WEIRD WORLD A Milwaukee bakery printed images of a burglary suspect on their cookies. The bakery got robbed on April 19, and the owners got the suspect's face on camera. So, we made delicious sugar cookies with his image on them!, they said in a Facebook post. They hoped somebody could ID the suspect, and it worked. CRACKED.COM

Lobster Theft

A former cook will serve 10 years in prison for the theft of steaks, lobster, and shrimp. CRACKED.COM Paul Diogenes used sto- len bank info from Rhode Island restaurants to buy $830,000 worth of deli- cacies, which he then sold back to the eateries he had defrauded.

Lenny Bruce

Lenny Bruce spent most of the 1960s fighting obscenity charges. Не was busted in San Francisco, Philly, Los Angeles, and Chicago, where a conviction was overturned by the Illinois Supreme Court. Woody Allen testified at Lenny's New York obscenity trial -- he was convicted and sentenced to four months. Не was appealing when he died of a drug overdose. CRACKED.COM

Tigger

A lawyer dressed up as Tigger in court to prove a point. In 2004, a Walt Disney World guest accused a performer of groping her and her daughter. The guy's attorney said that the Tigger costume was too unwieldy for that, and put it on himself to prove it. The courtroom shenanigans worked, and the performer was acquitted. CRACKED.COM

Mae West

Mae West spent 8 days in jail for performing her play Sex. The comedy about power dynamics between men and women was a sensation, especially after West's arrest. She was a very, very canny reader of her audiences, says cultural historian Marybeth Hamilton, and a very canny reader of her own publicity. CRAGKED.COM

Grandpa Gang

A gang of grandpas stole $200 million in cash and jewels from an English bank. ii CRACKED.COM The Grandpa Gang, a group of men the oldest be- ing 76, committed the big- gest bank robbery in English history by climbing down an elevator shaft and drilling through a concrete wall.

George Carlin

George Carlin was arrested in Milwaukee in 1972 after performing his '7 Words You Can't Say On Television' routine. Attorneys played Carlin's 'Class Clown' album as part of the defense and luckily, the judge had a sense of humor. After the seven words you can't say on television were said in a court Thursday, a smiling judge dismissed the disorderly conduct charge against comedian George Carlin. CRACKED.COM

The Man Who Channeled Indiana Jones

CRACKED 71-YEAR-OLD OREGON MAN CHANNELS INDIANA JONES, GETS CONVICTED. A 71-year-old Oregon man was convicted of attacking a federal officer and firing a gun in a violent crime. Не had set up an Indiana Jones-inspired booby trap at his old home.

Trump’s Ex-Lawyer

CRACKED EASTMAN'S ACCOUNTANT PLAN BACKFIRES. John Eastman, Trump's ex-lawyer, tried to get an accountant to testify in his disbarment case in California. The case was dismissed because the accountant wasn't an expert.

Criminal Catfishing

CRACKED A 21-YEAR-OLD WOMAN FROM THE UK IS FACING TRIAL FOR 17 SEXUAL OFFENSES. It's alleged that, as a teen, Georgia Bilham tricked another teenage girl into having sex with her by pretending to be a boy. The girl was reportedly very shortsighted.

The Food Delivery Robot That Couldn’t Be Stopped

A food delivery robot drove under police tape and through an active crime scene. ROSS POLICE LINE DO NOT CROSS CRACKED.COM When the robots say 30 minutes or less, they mean it - either by driving through a crime scene or creat- ing one. The choice is yours.

Murder in Space?

Currently, only one law governs space, the Outer Space Treaty of 1967, but it does not specify anything regarding individuals or privately-owned companies. CRACKED.COM A murder In 1970, which occured on an ice island in the Arctic Ocean north of Canada, is being consid- ered to determine how fu- ture crime in other atmo- spheres could be handled.

Slate

The Tell-All Tattoo

PROVE IT, COPPER! CRACKED.COM In 2011, a California gang member was arrested for driving with an expired license. While in custody, police noticed that his chest tattoos depicted an unsolved liquor store robbery and murder. After questioning, he confessed and was convicted.

Source: abcnews

The Last Place You Should Park a Stolen Car

WEIRD WORLD A guy driving a stolen car parked it at a space reserved for police cars in Tulsa. 712 6030-D2 Unsurprisingly for everyone involved, except the driver, he (along with a passenger) got arrested very quickly. CRACKED.COM

Source

Unblurring Pixelated Porn

WEIRD WORLD In Japan, they arrested a guy for unblurring pixelated porn videos with AI e In Japan, you can't clearly show genitalia due to an obscenity law- so unblurring censorship is a crime that you'll definitely get arrested for. CRACKED.COM

Source

Dan Aykroyd

Dan Aykroyd has a pretty strong obsession with law enforcement. It's so strong, he carries a police badge wherever he goes.

Source: MSNBC

Ted Bundy

In June 1977 Ted Bundy served as his own defence lawyer in a murder case against him. He was allowed to walk without handcuffs or shackles. He was als

The Night Stalker

Serial killer Richard Ramirez, the Night Stalker, was once pulled over by a police Officer when he was speeding away from a crime scene in a stolen

Muhammad Ali

THE THEFT OF A BICYCLE GAVE US THE GREATEST BOXER THAT EVER LIVED In 1954, a police officer found a 12-year-old fuming over his stolen bike. The boy s

The Fitbit That Knew Everything

A man was charged with murder based on his wife's Fitbit. A masked man broke into Richard Dabate's home, tied him up, and tortured him. When Dabate's

Smart Water Meters

Smart water meters indicated the cleaning up of a crime scene. Smart water meters can relay all kinds of fascinating data from monthly, daily, and eve

Khloe Kardashian

CRACKEDCON In 2007. Khloe Kardashian was arrested for a DUI. The judge gave her 30 days in jail for getting kicked out of alcohol education class and

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