30 of the Funniest Tweets from October 19, 2023

Imagine George Santos in front of a live studio audience
30 of the Funniest Tweets from October 19, 2023

When it comes to name-calling, there’s one term in particular that Gwyneth Paltrow absolutely detests. According to the Se7en actress, the term “nepo baby” is an “ugly moniker.” The daughter of director Bruce Paltrow and award-winning actress Blythe Danner spoke to Bustle and touched on the “judgment that exists around kids of famous people.” Paltrow went on to say that “there’s nothing wrong with doing or wanting to do what your parents do,” noting that no one criticizes a kid who says, “I want to be a doctor like my dad and granddad.” 

But the false equivalency, which has been touted by other nepo babies, fails to acknowledge the fact that becoming a doctor still requires years of rigorous education, no matter what access and tools are at your disposal. And so, the Oscar-winning-actress-turned-lifestyle-mogul joins Ben Platt and Lily-Rose Depp in fundamentally missing the point of the conversation in the first place. 

Speaking of children of Hollywood royalty, budding director Francesca Scorsese has taken to TikTok to share hilarious glimpses of her dynamic with her father Martin. After teaching him Zoomer slang, Francesca gave the Killers of the Flower Moon director the platform to talk about his muses — and his search for a new one. The elder Scorsese affectionately discussed his long-standing relationship with Robert De Niro and his time working with Leonardo DiCaprio before revealing his newest inspiration: their dog Oscar

While the TikToks continue to provide lighthearted humor when the world needs it most, it does raise a harrowing question: What does Oscar Scorsese think about the term “nepo baby”?

Of course, those of us who aren’t nepo babies have to continue to grind. Luckily, we at least have Twitter to get us through the workday. Today’s batch of funny tweets include those about India’s most-hated cat, generational trauma induced by Amy Schumer’s face and the most honorable way to have your ashes distributed. 

u- @evadentz.14h finn: hey what are- ice king: FaceApp 14 791 6,827 191K
Sgt. Suckdown @TheJaegerB.... 23h ... Want my ashes launched out of one of these when I die PAPILLONS entire - م: ية Elefuni 9 966 6,957 188K
Lala @dreamworked 17h ... My hate for Amy Schumer came to me as soon as I saw her face when I was 15 years old. I have been carrying with me, like Christ carrying his cross, this hatred for a long time. The rage she sparks within me, is one that I can only hypothesize comes from a past life trauma. 46 1,186 9,729 306K
depths of wikipedia @depths... 10h ... WIKIPEDIA India (cat) From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia India Willie Bush (July 13, 1990 - January 4, 2009) was a female solid black American Shorthair cat owned by former U.S. President George W. Bush and First Lady Laura Bush. Controversy in India There was some controversy reported in India as some people were upset with the cat's name. In July 2004, demonstrators burned an effigy of President Bush in protest.  23 330 4,435 170K
THE lusty argonian maid @lindawg 21h nice tats but why put bumper stickers on a bentley guess what! you'll never be inside me or a bentley so maybe mind ur business 42 542 5,610 245K
phosphor glow @phosphor_glow 1d Jason Alexander discusses how 'Seinfeld' got him off ... FoundationINTERVIEWS 812K views 7 years ago AMERICAN TELEVISION 2:53 Jason Alexander discusses how 'George Costanza' came ... FoundationINTERVIEWS Archive of 313K views 7 years ago AMERICAN TELEVISION 9:35 Jason Alexander discusses 'George Costanza' being based... FoundationINTERVIEWS Archive of 939K views 7 years ago AMERICAN TELEVISION 8:52 26 2,727 22.5K 567K
Papa Woof und Krampus und Bleaken @wo... 23h ... ONLY ONE PIEROGI PER CHILD 297 7,288 49.5K 3M
Girl with no problems @hotpriestt 10 Scrappy-Doo I'm so sorry I was not your mother 3 283 2,655 du 110K
kate bush's husband @airbagged 5h ... Film bros when a woman posts her 5 star letterboxd review of Heat HIDE AN SIK CH HIVE 44 413 del 30.2K
Quinton Reviews @Q_Review.16h ... I continue to be proven right that the War on Christmas is fake but the War on Halloween is extremely real. SONDER QUEST @SonderQuest.2 23h The vibes are definitely off at Target's Halloween section this year Priced Right Daily 10.00 DEL ATO HUP 114 2,465 29.5K 1.1M
chrib.net @chribbzz.18h ... Hillary Clinton DARENTAL ADVISORY CONTENT emails i can't send Sabrina Carpenter Album 2022 + emails i can't send E Sabrina Carpenter 2 113 48.6K 1,274
samuel @samtrayter . 3h never let the opposition know ur next move........ weird medieval guys @WeirdMedieval . 3h swordfighting tactics, germany, 16th century 21 ALT 25mg 22 142 18.1K
Valondar @VK_HM . 1d ... Almost invariably whenever a joke becomes a meme format the original use is the funniest one Dildo Baggins @EmmaTolkin 1d Just learned that THIS is the original screenshot I'm dying Text Message Monday 1:39 PM Borat 2 tonite iMessage Yesterday 3:11 PM Borat 2 tonight queen?? Today 12:44 PM Borat 2 tonite 12 242 6,712 201K
currently gifted adult @PanderShirts 5h why is the mean girl from high school and her absolutely toxic gay friend part of the american government bryan metzger @metzgov.1 1d George Santos and Lauren Boebert on the House floor ahead of today's speaker vote. via @pennstatetom gettyimages Credit: Tom Williams 1730499463 8 15 177 9,771
caitie delaney @caitiedelaney 22h I picture her in a parking lot somewhere just kinda saying this to no one in particular V Variety @Variety.22h Gwyneth Paltrow says nepo baby is an ugly moniker: There's nothing wrong with doing or wanting to do what your parents do...Nobody rips on a kid who's like, 'I want to be a doctor like my dad and granddad. variety.com/2023/film/news... HFPA. LDEN OLDEN L BE BE WARDS RDS 8 187 3,967 188K
odalis @o4iezaz 14h ... I suck at calming after ten down minutes I start talking shit again bitch I got sum else to say 395 1,991 66.6K
Vinny Thomas @vinn_ayy 4h I see. But he's still dressing like mama's dapper little gentleman? PCN PocketCast News @PocketCastNews. 17h Speaker pro-tempore Patrick McHenry, who is 5'5, has changed the chair behind him to not appear so short on camera. SPEAKER ELECTION-SECOND VOTE 34 148 2,643 141K
bfa agonistes @superloafcat.10h Why are the Talking Heads so good? Does the lead singer of the Talking Heads have autism? 12 300 3,097 84.6K
depths of wikipedia @depthso... 9h ... WIKIPEDIA The Tree Relationship with reality From a scientific viewpoint, elves are not considered objectively real. However, 62 2,513 16.1K 508K
Katrina Davis @katrinasivad 18h ... I waved at a mean teen in the mall because I thought she was my friend and when she got closer she was like Why are you waving, loser? And I said Oh sorry, you look 28. Josh Gondelman @joshgon... 1d If you see someone who looks enough like your friend that y out wave to them, they should have to tell you how their day is going. 21 217 5,049 256K
jake @huntichon.14h I genuinely understand getting mad at things like this on a spiritual level. Like what the hell are you doing cis exclusionary radical f... 15h the smallest shit piss me off. why the hell is y'all following walmart on instagram. walmart 3,040 3.1M 179 Posts Followers Following Walmart C walmart If you Walmart, you know we keep your cart & wallet full. #IYWYK walmrt.us/instagram Followed by 5starr_.jaylaa, v4kiraa and 1 other View Shop Message Follow 15 2,697 38K 1.4M
bort @tacobort.1 16h ... They sent me to the psych ward the way I'm straight jackin it 34 3,146 15.3K 467K
Paul McCallion @OrangePaulp. 13h ... George Santos is such a tragic figure... born to be Wendy Williams, trapped in a career of public service. 11 548 10.6K 348K
gloh @notgloh 18h ... Text Message Yesterday 8:30 AM DOORDASH: Reply with HALLOWEEN for 75% off!Coupon for orders $20 and up !! Hurry Now ! Yesterday 10:09 AM HALLOWEEN Yesterday 2:36PM yo big hungry ass Yesterday 4:15 PM bro who is this 22 2,376 21.7K 1M
Madeleine Aggeler @mmagge... 17h ... a friend-in-law is one of your best friends' best friends who you've met maybe 4 times but you know everything about their job, relationships, career, family, shame, dreams, medical history etc 12 414 8,148 245K
eliza @elizamclamb• 12h ... I I love how Dyson's whole thing is just Air. Like yeah we make the things that suck it in with the dust. And also the things that blow it out for your hair. And also for your hands in the public restroom. Fuck with me 23 900 18K 393K
Mowgli @CURTANGELS 14h ... it's that kind of day bro INXY NAME I am with them the SCREEN COLLECTION THE ропдевоь SQUarePaNts MOVIE The movie itself triumphs... - AO Sem The Now York Times 29 1,527 14K 465K
pris @pwiscila 16h sorry boss, got distracted by the web shop selling mini gas masks for calico critters. won't happen again 1/3 Miniature of gas mask 44 1,978 18K 586K
Ultima TwitchCon @Ultim... 10h ... SOON Hey, run that by me again, you said WHAT is coming to Halo Infinite? Delta @Delta_ae• 15h Flat tire? No problem. Rim jobs are coming to #Halolnfinite New equipment, repair field, set to release later in season 5 #HaloReckoning cc not 157 5,788 57.4K 3.1M
Jingleghost @JeremyMonjo 14h ... You do have to admit it's kind of funny Leo's enemy at the box office this week is the Women Under 25 demo. V Variety @Variety 14h Box Office Preview: Scorsese's 'Killers of the Flower Moon' No Match for Taylor Swift's 'Eras Tour' variety.com/2023/film/box-... 14 800 7,400 471K
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