29 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of October 2, 2023

One man is definitely not getting the role
29 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of October 2, 2023

It was a revolving door of comedy news this week. The Strike Force Five got back behind their late-night desks with old jokes about Lauren BoebertSaturday Night Live is on deck with a new cast member, and for some reason, a reboot of The Office is imminent. Meanwhile, The Daily Show’s Roy Wood Jr. is leaving the show on his own terms after eight years of being a reliable correspondent and beloved co-worker, Drew Barrymore’s head writers rightfully bailed on her just two weeks before her show’s scheduled return and Nick Offerman’s beard got the chop thanks to Megan Mullally

All the while, comedy was once again dominating the timeline. This week’s funny tweets include those about a crime that can’t be forgiven, the world’s hardest-working emoji and a government official who will definitely let you hit their vape.

Ahmed/The Ears/IG: BigBi... 16h ... RIP Dick Butkus Dick Butkus @thedickbutkus - 1h ... 51 not gonna be able to respond to all of you tonight thank you kindly for the support 92 28 1,300 wyant @bladeerunner-1 1h You killed my grandpa on the football field 1 9 Dick Butkus @thedickbutkus - 1h ... 51 probably deserved it 4 19 182 26 2,990 18.8K 1M
Joe Bernstein @Bernstein 1h ... FULLANDAD Sometimes you come across a group of Millennials who are still living fully in the Master of None/Warby Parker era. With their natural wines. These people must be treated gently, like the Japanese soldiers who didn't know World War 2 was over. 10 58 573 25.3K
fages - la chusma @prollyhighaf 12h ... Okay it's twitter so the jokes are gonna WEAT fly, but honestly it's nice to see people in power who look like someone that'd let me hit their vape TheBlaze @theblaze 22h This is a Communications Director for the US department of the Interior: 20 1,664 13.1K 307K
Forever Dre @Foreve... 18h ... Parenting hard as hell cause how am I supposed to discipline my daughter wit a straight face after her teacher sent me this pic of her falling asleep in class. LMFAO Reading . Book ENTRO TS - - - - - - Reading a E Your the Ide and who - the freed imar That WT you J Institution - Fly - proges - - time 444 2,653 31K 1.3M
lisly @Lislyyyyy 20h Don't worry babe, dinner is on me Search MYM 19852 pts View history 0 1500 3000 4500 6000 M You're viewing what's available for pickup at 217 N Alton. Change location My Rewards View all 6000 pts Bacon, Egg and Quarter Pounder Big Mac Cheese Biscuit with Cheese Not available 424 6,809 64.6K 2.2M
Kristen Mulrooney @missmulr... 17h ... My 3yo came home from school mad that one of the boys poked her in the eye. I asked if she talked to her teacher about it and she said yes, but the teacher didn't have a chance to address it because then the boy fell out of his chair and broke both his arms. Unsure if lies. 162 887 37.3K 924K
Nileist. @psychonegraut. 1d The Blackberry gave grown lady. A serious bitch! KenKen @KensBestLyfe . 1d You Couldn't Tell Me I Wasn't Running A Business When I Pulled This Out BlackBerry U # < P 2 3 Q U o W I E Y R T del - 5 A in / L K S J D H F G J اله alt J 8 9 ? $ M Z N X с в V LA O space verizon 32.3K 1.5M 63 5,283
jared @miserabletop 18h you want a straight person to run communications? we wouldn't last a day TheBlaze @theblaze.22h This is a Communications Director for the US department of the Interior: 16 1,503 31.2K 938K
actually it's good @yungchomsky-1 15h yeah... I look at him in the damn mirror meggy @rizzabitchbanks 1d do you ever look at a man and think...I know that guy does some serioussss jacking off 2 32 862 64.4K
@y2kbrix 1d why he said AirPort like it was made by apple... 444 @alishalynette. 1d date night in another city > Cash $400 Go book this Flight Meet me at AirPort Don't Miss the Flight 50 1,805 34K 1M
jeff @_jeffpardy_ 18h ... me if being a little sweetie was illegal 45 448 26.5K
masseduction fan account @R8y_of_L1ght 1d thinking about the time i was trying to explain nonbinary people to my cousin and he said oh like roger from american dad mimi СЛО @kittyplexy· 1d Replying to @boneseyy same reason ppl be dating roger 7 566 7,279 340K
Manumanito @manumanito.21h Coraline be like: Zorro de Cantina @FoxForFoxez . 23h La otra madre ya se tuneó. Valverdo Valverdo Valverdo Valverdo Crople padica Grugia Plantica Medical DANIA Grugia Plastica Orugia Plástica Percons Eductica Medical bake ANTES DESPUÉS 195 10.8K 125K 5M
sam @BigWillyITGuy99 - 1d a table made me split a check 8 ways and then all paid in cash Sorry for being a customer Some crimes can never be forgiven 20 391 9,142 160K
kcl @kycarrerolopez.23h this guy is one of my most used because i stay on the case. i'm checking nooks and crannies for clues. i'm gathering intel. i have questions, and i'll find answers 14 243 2,917 ils 103K
sivi @ali_sivi 1d ... National Alert ! are you mad at me 72 582 23.3K
BoHo Chicagoan @Eric_Erins 18h ... Midwest Breakfast $4 RES MIDWEST BREAKFAST SE 50 162 Breakfast Mega Slice PEPSI & Medium Fountain Offe valid when you purchase Medium Fountain Drink only with any Mega Silve Breakfast Marga Silices available only during breakfast humans Breakfast Natural may vary by location Office excludes Lended Breakfast Leaded Breakfast Bowl Biocuits and Grany, Mark and Bakery Items Restrictions may apply 29 159 1,320 71.3K
queen of the rodeo @cancerki... 19h ... Poker grandpa back at it once again 290 G Grandpa I need $50 I'll go to the casino and make 300 30 807 12.9K 594K
@t_sadiity 21h ... Crackheads give the best advice .... .... Mf said Nephew at the end of the day the day gotta end 221 7,601 26.7K 1.3M
Huntress x Huntress @Domini... 15h ... I started reading this like RuPaul Cof fee Lovers and Fans 1d Jack Antonoff, you sing and play guitar like an angel from Heaven. But your cruel words about Dimes Square cut through my Big Apple heart like the Statue of Liberty's tor... 10 192 1,897 del 109K
ghost @ghostcoochie•2 20h ... *touches his circumcision scar* i'm sorry i couldn't protect you 111 4,855 35.9K du 1.1M
meg @banhmigoddess• 19h ... obsessed with scrolling ebay these days despite the state of my bank account... Item Your offer wasn't accepted. Make a new offer? Price US $350.00 Previous Offer US $20.00 You should be shot Message from seller 21 4,507 45.5K 954K
Vinny Thomas @vinn_ayy 4d Scarlett Johansson looking ass VoteVets @votevets.4d Happy 99th birthday, Jimmy Carter. 71 507 6,853 503K
Beth McColl @imbethmccoll 1d ... imagine being 79 begging your 80 year old mate to go in the shops for you for 20 B&H 000 NEWS BBC Politics 000 NEWS POLITICS @BBCPo... 2d Smoking age in England should rise by one year, every year, so that eventually no-one can buy them, Rishi Sunak says ... 31 610 14.7K 935K
niles @NILES100 16h I know who not playing MLK @Discu... 18h 4F DiscussingFilm A Martin Luther King Jr biopic is in the works with Chris Rock set to direct. (Source: Deadline) 353 4,583 99K 6.5M
Jessica Ellis @baddestmamaja... 1d ... My closest encounter with the mafia is I went to a starkly empty pizza place in Rhode Island once, they seemed utterly confused that I wanted a pizza, it took 45 minutes to make, they gave it to me for free, and it was the best pizza I'd ever had. 1,052 14.7K 301K del 11.9M
chris udalla @Cudalla 1d ... The McRib only comes back before a tragic world event. Take precautions. Heed my warning. POP CRAVE Pop Crave @PopCrave.2d The McRib returns to McDonald's this November. Select locations only. M 445 17.8K 182K 13.3M
keely flaherty @keelyflaherty. 22h ... hey sorry i overreacted, i always do that whenever anything happens 17 5,506 27.8K du 758K
H ackary Binx @BarkyBoogz 15h ... That boy was puttin in WORK My Mixtapez @mymixtap... 1d Joe Biden's dog has been removed from the White House after biting 11 people are : Tasos Katopodis/ Gettylmages 130 7,187 52.7K 2M
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