21 of the Funniest Tweets from October 4, 2023

Hot dog-style eyes.. nightmare fuel
21 of the Funniest Tweets from October 4, 2023

In an unprecedented 216 to 210 vote, the Speaker of the House has been silenced. The historic move to oust Kevin McCarthy from his position in the middle of a congressional term came after right-wing Freedom Caucus members were unsatisfied with the California Republican’s decision to work with House Democrats in order to avoid a government shutdown. In doing so, McCarthy learned a valuable lesson that the Average Joe is all too familiar with: Even if you do your job to a T, you’re still expendable. 

Another government office — the Pawnee Parks and Recreation Department — can relate. It also once underwent a similar drastic change. In particular, Chris Pratt, who played the affable, husky Andy Dwyer, forced the writers into a corner when he joined the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Like Chris Evans before him and Kumail Nanjiani after him, Pratt got ripped to take on the role of Star-Lord, resulting in a physique that was at odds with Andy’s entire ethos. Parks and Rec writers attempted to circumnavigate the issue before ultimately addressing it head-on

Meanwhile, Twitter continues to cement itself as one of the funniest websites in history. Today’s funny tweets include those about eye-opening horrors, the pride in having an ugly boyfriend and a devious Halloween trick. 

rare insults @insultsrare 11h dove ... @lovedoveclarke NOOOOOOO YOU GUYS my dad was watching a video on his laptop in the living room and I walked up behind him and said who's that fuckin nerd? and to my horror the nerd on the screen laughed. it was a zoom meeting. the nerd is one of our company's investors... 116 3,341 98.1K 3.3M
internet hall of fame @Inter... . 6h ... 11:43 Tweet toomanycarz @toomanycarz There is literally a bird sitting on my phone as I tweet this. It's tweeting 11:42:28 Jul 21 Twitter for Android de View Tweet activity 313 7,501 105K 1.8M
depths of wikipedia @depthso... 3h ... WIKIPEDIA The The Antz From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia ANTZ See also List of films that depict class struggle 17 471 5,400 156K
NOVAAA m @girlsluvnovaa 19h ... calling eachother ugly when yall look alike JaiVibez @daystack 19h Wat is sibling math? 93 5,485 16.6K 932K
Rob @thegallowboob - 1 1d ... Someone took an action shot of their dog jumping in the water and it will haunt my sleep forever 1,419 23.2K 223K 10.9M
Cock Pornis @QuantumSeppu... 15h ... This guy is fucked up. This guy would rather stand in the rain than under an umbrella. This guy is seriously messed up in the head @Disc... 20h 4F DiscussingFilm New look at Joaquin Phoenix in 'JOKER 2'. 72 3,429 45.4K 1M
Niecey ت @nielenciagas. 1 16h Can yall imagine if our eyes closed hotdog style instead of hamburger style 511 4,050 16.1K del 1M
Anna Drezen @annadrezen 13h When you check the furniture website and the home page says We are the tellers of a story not commonly told and it's like okay I guess they're not doing a sale 3 120 3,976 del 107K
Lizards Every Hour @Hourl... 3h ... When I accidentally use personality A with friend group В spray blood from your eyes at any interesting predators lately? what? horrible. how was the party? 2 402 2,582 30.8K
ITYSL memes (@ityslmemes.com on bsky) 1h ... Americans just a few minutes ago: What the fuck? ALT 7 311 2,446 58.6K
Pilgrim @VLONEPREDATOR 19h ... White people DONT Say that's photoshopped ANYMORE THEY Say gotta be ai generated 20 252 6,995
naomi @andletmejustsay 1d When I say I have three boyfriends at a time, it's in a fun and flirty cosmopolitan woman way, not in a poly way. Please understand that it's never in a poly way. 7 257 3,865 ils 182K
uR m0m @heyshadybaby96 . 1d ... this is jigsaw. last week in starbucks you did a gross fucking burp that put me off my panini. In front of you is a panini press. You will notice also, that your dick is out, 3 86 419 9,518
cam @largemotorcycle • 22h ... Go on, get is probably one of the most cutting things you can say to an animal 1 207 2,960 79.5K
Henry White @Henry_White1996.22h ... Quote From Man Stabbed www.khq.com What are you gonna do, stab me? KH in UPS 11:01 67 Kevin McCarthy @SpeakerMcCarthy -1 1d Bring it on. 17 3,566 22.8K 1.2M
JP @jpbrammer.1 16h ... orcs in the LoTR movies know what a menu is. there are orc restaurants. I wonder what the best one is. I wonder if the chef is incredibly serious 25 134 1,500 74K
jr @jamesearl23 16h Posting wow super problematic under everybody's Halloween costume and then responding I will not do the labor of educating you when they ask for an explanation. 63 4,571 61.5K 2.3M
G. L. @gldivittorio 21h There is no rule that says house speaker has to be a congress member which is why I believe they should hold open auditions for it like american idol 7 185 3,322 du 99K
bЯyan @m... 12h ... Watching a columbo episode where he shows up unannounced at a party and the guy is like do you want something to drink and columbo says do you have cream soda? Insane drink to ask for 61 207 5,250 188K
Jules Suzdaltsev @jules_su 18h Imagine being voted out of office by someone who was just kicked out of beetle juice the musical for vaping and jacking off her date 81 3,966 42.9K del 1.4M
roro, PhD @fuglibetty 12h So you posted your ugly boyfriend. and the world wants you to feel shame, regret... do not succumb to its pressure. it is beautiful that your love transcends superficiality.... you should be proud of the pureness of your bond. Even if he is totally ugly as fuck 5 624 4,064 del 162K
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