17 Hilarious Burns from the Week of September 25, 2023

Foolish Tinder users got roasted like marshmallows this week
17 Hilarious Burns from the Week of September 25, 2023

In a bid to help wayward souls find their match, Tinder launched Tinder SELECT, yet another premium tier priced at $499 a month that offers “unrivaled access to the absolute best of Tinder,” per the company. The invite-only membership, available to fewer than 1 percent of users, includes perks like messaging users before matching, a mode where only fellow SELECT subscribers are visible and a profile badge to flaunt your SELECT status. This means that everyone will be able to see that you’re spending $6,000 a year on the app while still failing to get a second date. (Though, in this case, even a nabbing first one is probably pushing it.) As this news hit the timeline, everyone was quick to roast the hypothetical man foolish enough to waste half a month of rent on a dating app.

But thirsty Tinder users with expendable cash weren’t the only ones getting roasted this week. Other burns included those about a vintage laptop, a pop star’s witchcraft and some questionable homeschooling…

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badge in on just stop oil t-shirt @notbenfish . 2d this is going crazy on second grade twitter jimmy @jimmyoutsold . 2d 150 word essay due at midnight... GIF 3 292 8,920 389K
potato bun @erewhonsmoothie Homeschooling should be illegal RS Rolling Stone @RollingStone 9/20/23 Olivia Rodrigo tells Rolling Stone she's really afraid of birds. Birds are so foreign to us -there's not one body part that looks like ours. Interview: rollingstone.com/music/music-fe... Plan Tel. (can DISC 1860 free lle SOUNDA nd NESS-FOUNDS 384 9877 Tel. 10:39 9PM 1 . 9/24/23 . 6.1M Views 5,764 Reposts 347 Quotes 120K Likes 1,511 Bookmarks
Robbie Fox @RobbieBarstool. 1d mans built like carl wheezer doomer @uncledoomer. dd absolutely stanced up
Scott Gairdner SAG-AFTRA. ON @scottgairdner STRIKE Dane Cook looks like the Mission Impossible machine printed a too-obvious mask 5:37PM 9/25/23 from Earth 438K Views 76 Reposts 38 Quotes 1,829 Likes 16 Bookmarks
carl marks @whoreby_parker - 3 3h ... white women in nashville for their friend's bachelorette party: 2 75 1,004 33.1K
Max Tani @maxwelltani uh how long Page Six @PageSix4 4d Page Six Dane Cook, 51, marries longtime partner Kelsi Taylor, 24, in intimate Hawaii wedding trib.al/49w970v 10:19 AM 19.25/23 from Earth 3.2M Views 1,410 Reposts 32 Quotes 66.1K Likes 489 Bookmarks
Patty LaCerva ... @minasdemon suppository lanez MM @Malibub... .2h ... MM How old are you?! 1 13 6,668 matt @computer_gay-2h 28 1 9 148 6,558 lea chin-sang JOSH DAY! @bigfatmo... . 1h ... did you know him 1 108 2,620 12:21 PM 9/25/23 from Earth .2.2M Views 5,562 Reposts 1,252 Quotes 57.5K Likes 1,718 Bookmarks
Lolo @LolOverruled You really gotta look inside bro if you need to spend $499 to have women talk to you. It's not the app man. Please man change your life POP CRAVE @PopCrave.3 3d Pop Crave Tinder announced a new invite-only subscription called Tinder Select. In this plan, subscribers can message any users they have not matched with. Additionally, the most sought-after users will be able to see their profiles. The plan costs $499 per month. tinder 3:39 PM 9/25/23 from Earth 1.3M Views 2,014 Reposts 7 Quotes 29.7K Likes 235 Bookmarks
Sara Civ @SaraCivian Buy me a new laptop like what do you want me to say 6:37 PM Replied to your story ADIC POR are Their Tuch Yayyyyy still love doing this for a job Lol with the Obama era Macbook Air 3:40PM . / 9/26/23 from Earth 61.7K Views
kyfu @_kyfu 1d ... i aint eating this l TIME SENSITIVE D DoorDash Smelvin is approachin 23 2,291 22.5K del 663K
kira @kirawontmiss 1d they look like they're about to give batman a hard time AnOther AnOther Magazine @AnOtherMagazine.2d Erykah Badu and Usher front row at Marni
Hurt CoPain @SaeedDiCaprio - 6h 23.5K 334K 19.1M 1,744 Stazz @stazzwashere.20h I honestly think he's doing a good job changing twitter, it's just hard for most people to accept innovation at first 46 385K 160 1,510 Hurt CoPain @SaeedDiCaprio 16h yeah no the rebrand is so well even you called it twitter 72 355 25.1K 319K 75 58.5K 1,858 889K
peet @PeetingDisorder 3d She wouldn't stand a chance in the Salem Witch Trials Catch Up @CatchUpFeed.3d What is Britney Spears doing? Cá . 4 19 361 26.2K
eve6 ... @Eve6 It's so awesome that through impulsiveness and sheer lack of creativity he's made it virtually impossible for the company to do branding POP CRAVE @PopCrave 3d Pop Crave The official X account shares alternative to old saying, That's it. That's the Tweet. Post x X @X that's it, that's the Post 5:42AM 9/26/23 from Earth 46.8K Views POP CRAVE 6:43 AM 9/26/23 from Earth .1.9M Views 4,728 Reposts 25 Quotes 63K Likes 376 Bookmarks
jestin ... @jestingtime Bro's never looked in a mirror Dom Lucre Breaker о... Subscribe @dom_lucre I'm starting to question the LGBTQ movement because I have never seen a gay baby. 1:45 PM 9/26/23 from Earth 93.2K Views 238 Reposts 30 Quotes 2,350 Likes 6 Bookmarks 10:14 4AM . 9/27/23 from Earth . 156K Views 136 Reposts 17 Quotes 4,768 Likes 39 Bookmarks
meelo @honeyxcream-5d the only real joke in the entire video is that he considers himself a comedian Jimmy Carr @jimmycarr. 9/22/23 I put my American audience to the test with a selection of my darkest jokes... NETFLIX What I'm saying onstage tonight is barely acceptable now. 18 57 1,664 77.6K
like @IkeGotJuice . 22h me after adding creative director to my bio: gettyimages Credit: CBS Photo Archive 81156287 36 1,219 8,672 463K
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